Wednesday, December 2, 2015

The Great Sheffield Wheelie Bin Caper

We trust each of you has gotten your jollies from reading the escapades at the Sheffield Street and Sanitation Department. What can we learn from this?

* If you think someone wants to sabotage the wheelie bin spreadsheet or any other file, you can buy a Jump drive at Big Lots for 8.00—it’s a worthwhile investment. Just be sure to back up your files each day.

* Husbands and wives really shouldn’t work together in the public sector. It NEVER works out and causes hard feelings among other employees. If the employees meet and marry at work, do whatever it takes to transfer one to an equal paying job in another department/location.

* Dress modestly—that goes for both sexes. That is of course unless you have extra time to ward off unwanted advances or you have a second job on the side.

* One of the worst mistakes any manager/owner can make is to take something away from an employee due to no fault of the employee. So you didn’t like the previous arrangement for overtime pay or whatever? Tough. You didn’t make it, but you should honor it as far as hours already earned. If you don’t you’re being a horse’s patoot.

* For Heaven’s sake, never make any personal remarks in writing. Even employees who don’t know how to back up files seem to know how to keep copies of every off color or discriminatory remark anyone makes. Don’t make these remarks verbally either; see above about horse’s patoot.

* Finally, to ensure job security, keep Billy on speed dial and have it prominently displayed on your phone.


So let’s see, ol’ Jimbo Bob (James Tucker) is 40, lives in a trailer in the wilds of eastern Lauderdale County, and looks like Travis the Chimp. He also has a 25 year-old live-in girl friend. This poor woman had to have been desperate for a home…or maybe a chemical aperitif this man offered.

Tucker has been indicted for his many crimes against this woman, among them strangulation, assault, and kidnapping. We didn’t read that the mini-mart clerk whom Jimbo Bob threatened during the latter part of this hours long attack pressed any charges, but we hope that he/she did. It might be only a misdemeanor, but ol’ Jimbo Bob needs it on his record.

Perhaps Jimbo Bob will now find religion; we understand his mother has just opened a faith healing church. Would you trust spiritual guidance from the woman who made this post? Her son deserves better? Yes, they breathe and walk among us.

Let’s hope this Neanderthal gets more than a diversion program for his sins. Either that or the community buys his ex a Taser, a bullwhip, and a baseball bat.


Now a little Boz from early this year; he’s still smokin’…


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