Tuesday, December 13, 2016

ORBC Is Vandal Shaming

Did you hear about the 8 year-old Arkansas boy who was killed when a “tombstone toppled onto him?” Rather like the children who are killed by guns that mysteriously fire by themselves, isn’t it? The account of the boy’s death did include that he was climbing on the tombstone when it fell…inside a fenced in church cemetery.

It’s entirely possible this boy’s family told him every day to respect the dead, but he chose not to listen. We strongly suspect his family never told him any such thing. Now he’s dead and the 110 year old tombstone of a young person may be damaged permanently.

Let’s not forget the Clements student who just had to take a selfie with a cadaver at UAB—another fine example of American youth. Now let’s consider at least two teens closer to home.

The Old Railroad Bridge Company is offering a fifty dollar reward for information about vandals. These vandals left names:

Lori Grace


Ann Simpson


Grant Brownie


Anna Greer

The ORBC actually has a photo of the young woman using red spray paint to spell out “Anna Greer.” We have no idea if this girl was Greer herself or someone else. We’re sure the Shoals public will find out within 24 hours.

We’re also sure these two young women, whoever they are, wherever they’re from, will not be looked upon kindly by college admissions personnel or by future would-be employers. Is it their fault or the fault of their parents? What in the name of historical preservation made them contribute to such a crime, albeit a misdemeanor? Where will they be in 20 or 30 years? We shudder to think.

(Lest you think we’ve been too hard on these girls, the ORBC called them anuses—using slightly different terminology.)


Nothing Says Christmas Like a Deer in Wayfarers


Let us now return to the Arkansas tombstone. News reports described it as a “stump.” Such monuments are actually trees cut down midway to signify a young person cut down before he or she even reached their prime, usually in their late teens or early 20s. Alas, the news reporter couldn’t correctly describe a cemetery monument, but we bet the same couldn’t be said for Arkansas football or the Kardashians.

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