Saturday, November 28, 2015

At Least We Have Football

Once upon a time, there was a man in his 50s; he was heavy and wrinkled and not much to look at. He liked young girls. No, we’re not saying underage girls, just young women. A friend of the man became used to the parade of younger women at the man’s home. Some were poor, some were scarred, some were hindered on life’s highway by unwanted children whom they presumably didn’t know how to prevent.

The man’s friend noticed that as the man aged, the girls became rougher looking. For after all, everything in life is a tradeoff. The man had not increased his financial worth, and what little looks he had were fast going. The search for a young woman to date had become more difficult.

One day the man called his friend to meet his latest squeeze. The friend was shocked to find an unkempt young woman who must have weighed 400 pounds…but as the man told his friend, “she’s only 18!”

Aren’t we like that in Alabama? We don’t have an adequate mental health system, we don’t have an even halfway decent prison system, we don’t have state of the art schools, we don’t even have money to keep the state parks open that 90% fund themselves.

What we do have is a great football team. At least No. 99 can boast that; we’re pretty sure Shoalanda and J. Redmon are a little disappointed after today. We do wonder if we would have such great teams if they depended on taxpayer dollars rather than revenue they produce themselves.

Each of us has to demand a state legislature that sets priorities…the correct priorities…and keeps them. Of the Shoals area’s most recently elected state officials, only Tim Melson seems to have not had some hobby horse to ride or axe to grind. Props to Dr. Melson!

Now, to you others: Can you at least pretend to care about the financial condition of our state? You have until February to perfect your game face.


Besides the budget, which should certainly be the top priority, our local delegation needs to address:

* State Certificate of Need Laws

* The state’s continued involvement in the retail sale of liquor.

* The legislature’s extremely annoying habit of taking up valuable time by reading into the record commendations for every constituent who so much as passes his driver’s exam. (If a valued citizen passes away, we can see mentioning the good works he/she did in life. What we can’t see is commending each and every high school or college jock who gets his/her name in the local paper—isn’t that reward enough for such accomplishments?)


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