Special Report: Justin Matthew Green to Become Father Again

Remember that advocate for Justin Matthew Green who was "just a friend?" Well, she's announced she's knocked up. Wonderful! Of course, he doesn't love her enough to marry her... Maybe when he gets out of work release, or should we say community corrections? Who the heck knows what Lauderdale County will do with him for the next 12 months?

For all who might need a little reminder of the laws of the universe:

Al Wilson The Snake Lyrics:

On her way to work one mornin',
Down a path alongside the lake,
A tender-hearted woman,
Saw a poor half-frozen snake.
His pretty colored skin
Had been all frosted with the dew,
"Poor thing," she cried, "I'll take you in,"
"And I'll take care of you."
"Take me in, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

She wrapped him up all cozy,
In a comforter of silk.
And laid him by the fireside
With some honey and some milk.
Well she hurried home from work that night
And soon as she arrived,
She found that pretty snake
She'd taken in had been revived.
"Take me in, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

Now, she clutched him to her bosom,
"You're so beautiful," she cried.
"But if I hadn't brought you in,
By now you might have died."
Now she stroked his pretty skin again,
And then kissed and held him tight.
Instead of saying, "Thanks,"
That snake gave her a vicious bite.
"Take me in, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

"But, I saved you," cried that woman,
"And you've bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous,
And now I'm gonna die."
"Aw, shut up, silly woman,"
Said that reptile, with a grin.
"You knew damn well I was a snake,
Before you brought me in."
"Please, take me in, oh, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

• Music

  • "The Snake" by Al Wilson (Google Play • iTunes • AmazonMP3)
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