The Romance of the Subway Bandit

We won’t use any real names here, so we’ll call her Mari. She had a dead-end job, an ex-husband who had abandoned her, and a small daughter to raise. With no extra money on hand, Mari didn’t take care of her appearance; her co-workers had never known her to even have a date. Then she arrived at her office one Monday morning to announce she was married.

Everyone was shocked, but eager to meet Mari’s new husband. Well…that wouldn’t be possible just then. He was working on construction or on an oil rig or something in another state, or was that country? He’d be home in a few months; they’d just have to wait. Mari’s office mates teased her that her new last name sounded a great deal like “pregnant,” but little did they know that Mari and her new hubby had yet to consummate their marriage.

In an era when the Internet was just a series of bulletin boards linked by telephone land lines, those with a need to know garnered most of their information from an old fashioned newspaper. In the Shoals that usually wasn’t the Tricycle Daily, but the Birmingham News. The News published such fascinating articles, like the one on prisoners about to leave Limestone Correctional Facility in a few weeks for a new life. Observant readers noted one who was interviewed had a surname that sounded much like the word “pregnant.”

Mari’s friends said nothing, but rejoiced with her when her new husband finally joined her. In a few months, they celebrated again when Mari actually was pregnant. It wasn’t long until Mari and her family moved away. Those who knew her casually really didn’t know where she’d gone or what had happened to her and her family. Whatever it was, it apparently wasn’t good.

Fast forward 25 years, and we have a Subway robber apprehended in Muscle Shoals. His name sounded suspiciously like “pregnant.” Was it Mari’s husband? A quick Google showed that he hadn’t been Mari’s husband in a long time. In fact, he had been searching for her and their children for the past two years. What would have made Mari disappear so thoroughly from her husband’s life and take their child? Whatever it was, we can bet it wasn’t pleasant.

The Subway robber will probably return to prison, assuming he doesn’t have any family who will demand ad nauseum that he be placed in community corrections. This tarnished tale of romance didn’t have a good outcome, did it? Will it cause anyone to take stock of her own situation? We doubt it. We do hope it encourages her friends to maintain their relationship. We understand that some are accepting, while others are simply aghast. Remember whatever happens, it’s not your fault. Some people just have to learn the hard way. In fact, that’s true for most people we know.

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We recently posted the words to the “Snake Song.” Now we see a regular letter writer to the TD has mentioned if you take in a frozen snake to warm him up, he’ll simply bite you when he thaws out. Snakes and druggies really get bad press, don’t they? Maybe it’s for good reason…

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Shoalanda