Our Top Stories of 2013?

Porno Mom Patricia Ayers

Two days ago we published a list of our top ten blogs according to readers (using StatCounter statistics). Do we agree? Not quite.

Our top story according to readers was the heir to the Burnscraft fortune (or what's left of it) driving drunk, crashing, and ending the life of both his girlfriend and a local Tennessee landmark. We rate this as only number three, since all victims (with the exception of the store building) were willing participants in the activity.

Our personal number two is the Vina teacher sex scandal. It's not surprising that there are men out there who take advantage of young girls...or that there are young girls so lacking in morals that marriage means nothing to them. What is surprising is that these two male teacher/coaches were not able to control themselves despite 1) Knowing it was wrong at all levels, 2) Knowing they could lose their jobs, 3) Knowing they could lose their families, 4) Knowing they could be labeled as sex offenders for life. We don't consider teachers to be more moral than anyone else. We do consider most of them smarter than the two Vina coaches.

Our personal number one story is the sad tale of a local couple who used the woman's own young daughter to produce pornography. How sick do you have to be? This couple walked among us. If both this mother and step-father could be sentenced to Life Without the world would be a better place.



Shoalanda

The NSA in Florence: An Urban Myth?

We love urban myths. At least we used to before they became so political...you know, FEMA is building big mouse traps for all Caucasians who speak English. No, the old fashioned urban myths are extremely interesting, and many were built on truths, while still others were created to be told around camp fires at night.

Is the NSA listening to us as we speak into those plastic rectangles we constantly carry? Are they monitoring this blog as we write it? Could be, but since we aren't plotting to overthrow the U.S. government, we're not too concerned. Still some things are more interesting than others.

A friend recently told us of a story her friend told her--so you know it has to be true. It seems that the SunTrust Bank building in Florence rents part of its top floor to the National Security Agency which uses it to monitor local comings and goings as well as communications. Yes, really, according to this local urban legend.

We looked at the SunTrust building a few days ago. It does have several antennae located atop the roof. We're sure most of them have logical reasons for being there. The building does overlook much of downtown Florence and Sheffield, but that's what precipitated the rumor to start with, isn't it?

So how about it? Anyone have any info to support or debunk this rumor?



Shoalanda

Most Popular Stories of 2013

Just what were our most popular blogs of 2013? Here they are, and not surprisingly the Vina teacher sex scandal made three of the top ten.

1.  Alcohol Involved in Brittany Underwood's Death

2.  Warrant Issued for Burns' Arrest

3.  Red Bay Facing a Lawsuit?

4.  Billy Underwood Fires Back

5.  The Saddest Post

6.  Who Is James K. Pharr? 

7.  Sonny Tibbs

8.  Teacher-Student Sex

9.  Patricia Ayers 

10. Chief Logan, It's Not All About You

Is that how we would rank them? Not quite. Our list appears tomorrow.



Shoalanda

Wilson Dam Road?

We see a prediction from the TD's Mike Goens that part of the newly four-laned Wilson Dam Road in Muscle Shoals will be open soon. Judging from the status of the work, that prediction isn't hard to make; however, the future of the expansion would still seem to be up in the air.

The Southern Railway overpass prevents further extension...at least without some serious money that our state doesn't seem to have. It's anyone's guess how long it will take to circumvent that problem, and not even the state highway department has made any official comments.

*****

Other predictions? We'll leave those to Mike Goens, but we will be having a run down of our top stories for this past year. Stay tuned...



Shoalanda

How Close Are You to Being a Suspect?

The man quickly withdrew twenty dollars from a local ATM and drove home, not even looking at his receipt. As he was about to toss the small piece of paper in the trash, he noticed the balance read $400.00. The Florence man had just been paid; his checking balance should have been almost $3,000.00; had his account been hacked?

As he was about to call the bank, hoping that customer service was still open, he noticed the account number--it wasn't even his. Upon contacting the bank, he was told the ATM was out of sync--it was giving each customer the previous customer's receipt. The man breathed a sigh of relief.

Now one of our contacts at the Florence Police tells us a similar thing has happened in an investigation of a theft. In other words, the photograph the authorities hoped to retrieve was actually that of another banking customer. Obviously, it happens.

We were not told the name of the bank or the location of this error, but it could have been anywhere in the Shoals. It could have been our pictures...or yours. How does a banking institution make this up to a customer? We sincerely want to know.



Shoalanda

Ta Ta, Ronnie

Lauderdale County Sheriff Ronnie Willis has formally announced he will not be a candidate for re-election. Willis has stated he wants to spend more time with his family. We're pretty sure the FBI's opinion of his administration didn't exactly encourage Willis to run for a fourth term...

*****

It's only been a short while since all the offices in the Lauderdale County courthouse were renovated to provide extra space and offer a more ergonomic work environment. Now we hear the district attorney's office is looking for office space to purchase in downtown Florence. Oh, well, it's only money.



Shoalanda

Merry Christmas 2013!

Merry Christmas 

from

D.K., J. Redmon, Bailey Quarters, &

Shoalanda

Blood on the Streets of Tupelo

It's the birthplace of Elvis. It's smaller than Florence. It's not the wild west, and one doesn't expect a shootout between bank robbers and police. Yet that's what the small Mississippi town got for Christmas.

The miscreants are still out there. There's no denying that they're armed and dangerous. Let's hope they're captured before they take their act on the road to Alabama. Let's also pray for the families of the two officers. Christmas will never be the same for them.

*****

We hope everyone is vigilant this holiday season and every day!



Shoalanda

Who Will Be Next "Director of Cultural Tourism?"

Now that Libby Stoddard Watts Jordan has officially taken the new position of curator for the Rosenbaum home, who will replace her as the Director of Cultural Tourism with the Florence-Lauderdale Tourism Board? Mrs. Jordan is the first to hold that position, having served the past three years and four months.

Since Mrs. Jordan has stated her new position as curator for the Rosenbaum home will result in a pay cut, we may infer the cultural tourism position pays more than $37,500.00 a year. Perhaps Martha Murphy would be interested in this position; she would be more than qualified.

We'll update our readers on the new Director of Cultural Tourism as soon as we have a name.

*****

Is Champy's Fried Chicken a local landmark? Hmmmm. A friend looking for the restored Sheffield neon sign stated that was all he had to go on from reading the article in the TotallyDecatur...



Shoalanda

Jordan's Wife New Director of Rosenbaum Home

Libby Watts Jordan, third wife of Florence councilman Dick Jordan, has been named the new director of the Rosenbaum home. Watts, who's undergraduate degree is in geology, beat out 29 other applicants for the position.

Martha Murphy, one of four city employees who applied for the job, has filed a grievance. Murphy, currently administrative assistant to the mayor, states she may take her quest for the job to other more official legal venues. Murphy is the founder of Mrs. Murphy's Foods and has an extensive background in several business areas.

Now here's the kicker: The job pays only $37,500.00 a year. Perks? Fascinating surroundings and an impressive job title. What are these perks worth in dollars and cents? Zero.

So what's the beef? The position is worth very little financially, and the fact that there were 29 applicants besides Mrs. Jordan doesn't speak very well of the local economy...or mindset. The real beef seems to be "the appearance of evil." We say if Libby Watts Jordan wants the job, let her have it. Surely there are much better things to come for Martha Murphy and any other qualified applicants who may not have been given a fair shake.

Related Post: What's Happening



Shoalanda

Tourist Wars?

Lodging tax is what most of us would call big money. Now there seems to be some dissension as to what entity will control this money in Florence-Lauderdale. As it stands now, all funds go back to the Florence-Lauderdale Tourism Board to use as they see fit. If Mayor Mickey Haddock and others get their way, the money will soon be controlled by the city/county where the revenue was generated.

It would seem one motivator for this change is the possibility that Lauderdale tourism will merge with the enemy--Colbert County. There are certainly pros and cons to both sides, and we don't have enough information as yet to have a concrete opinion.

We do opine that the Florence City Council members already have a great deal of influence on local tourism and the arts/museum facet of city government. Insert "Coming Attractions" reel here...

*****

Isn't it interesting that Sandra Killen-Burroughs is the only member of the tourism board to have actual experience in the wonderful world of tourism? (Sandra is no longer a board member by her own choice.) It's our opinion that members of any board should have at least some present or past ties to the entities the board controls.



Shoalanda

Graham Files Second Appeal

Convicted killer Hershel Dale Graham has filed his second appeal on the last legal day to do so. Graham was arrested and tried for Felony Murder in the shooting death of David Andrasik. After being convicted of Manslaughter, Graham appealed first to the circuit court and was denied. His next step is the criminal appeals court. If the appeals court upholds his conviction, Graham may still appeal to an even higher court. How long will Daddy's money hold out?

*****

For those who asked about the Joel Moyers shooting case, here's a link to the basic info:

The Good & the Bad

Shoalanda

Joel Moyers Gets an Early Christmas Present

Joel Moyers, the Limestone County man accused of murdering Brandon Hydrick, has received an early Christmas gift--bail. Moyers has been granted bail by an Alabama appeals court and quickly bonded out of the Limestone County Jail. The decision to grant Moyers bail has produced some inflammatory comments from the Hydrick camp. Just FYI, it might not be a good idea to call the prosecutor and judge "f***ing idiots." The state's case is extremely weak, and we have previously predicted a manslaughter verdict as the most fitting.

Another word to the wise for the Hydrick family concerns the advisability of posting pics of the deceased drinking from "turkey feather beer bottles." We're sure Moyers' defense team will be using the autopsy toxicology report to cast doubts on Hydrick's innocence in the whole unfortunate chain of events.

We never advocate suicide for anyone and hope that Mr. Moyers has received psychological help since his earlier attempt. It simply doesn't make any friends for Hydrick supporters when they post comments concerning the possibility of Moyers being able to escape vengeance for Brandon's death. We're pretty positive the permanent results of suicide rank just a little above a prison sentence. We're also pretty sure vengeance and justice are two different things.



Shoalanda

Dear Santa: Some Peace on Earth?

Dear Santa:

We here at Shoalanda Speaks would really like some peace on earth this Christmas. How about it?

BTW, we've all been very, very good this year. SS


Dear Shoalanda:

You'll be happy to know I have all the elves working on it, but first we're trying to get things going at the local level. We've been working on the Cherokee Town Council for several years now, but it may be a lost cause. Ditto for Leighton, and we don't have much higher hopes for Rogersville.

We're also working on Muscle Shoals, but between the mayor's battles with Billy Underwood and the E-911 Board, we may not be able to bring any peace there either. And Lawrence County? Sheesh, don't even mention them. Russellville is a mite better this year, except for its police department. You wouldn't believe what the elves tell me about that place. 

We've done pretty good with Sheffield, at least for the time being. We'll see how things go there when election time rolls around. Florence? Meh. Even the senior citizens are restless. UNA? Don't ask. Then there's hospital wars, hospice wars, and ambulance wars.

How about this: instead of peace on earth, I just send everyone a new Bentley for Christmas. It'll be much easier for me to arrange.

Best Regards,

Santa

*****

There you have it from the chief elf himself...



Shoalanda

Mirror, Mirror: Municipal Court

If you've been to one municipal court, you've pretty well been to all. The number of available seats may vary, and the judge's dais may rise to greater heights in some courts, but one thing is extremely consistent--they all take in a lot of money.

Problems with the court system are also very similar. Wherever there's a lot of cash, there's always the temptation to pocket some of the court's proceeds. It was just in 2010 that a Muscle Shoals city magistrate was convicted of pilfering over 86K in city funds. She served a five year prison sentence (with good time) and is now a free woman...or almost free; she still has to work to pay back her ill-gotten gains.

Earlier this year, LaDonna Hitt Montgomery pleaded guilty to embezzling more than 65K from the Russellville Municipal Court. Hitt agreed to pay back the stolen funds and is currently on probation for her crimes.

The crimes of both municipal court employees were revealed by a routine audit. We don't usually look at accountants as crime busters, but perhaps we should. After all, one sent Al Capone up the river...

*****

Our friends at Pen N Sword have an interesting article: Shake Up in Rogersville. It seems there should be a follow up, don't you think?



Shoalanda

Would Muscle Shoals Walmart Lie?

Quick, everyone, what does O.B. hate more than Auburn? If you said Walmart, you're obviously a regular reader of OB's Corner. It seems our local Muscle Shoals WallyWorld has ticked some customers off. Yes, we were as shocked as you.

From J. Redmon:

As reported to me, WallyWorld 'sold' 32-inch LED HD TVs on 'Black Thursday' for $98/each. Naturally, they ran out before all customers were able to purchase one. So...WallyWorld 'sold' them the TVs, via a sort of 'rain check' deal, wherein the customers still desiring one of the $98 flat screen TVs could PAY IN ADVANCE, and the TV was guaranteed to be delivered to the local WallyWorld in time for Christmas. SURPRISE!  When customers that paid for TVs showed up at the Muscle Shoals WallyWorld this past weekend to claim the TVs that they had paid for, WallyWorld failed to deliver, instead offering the customers 'in-store gift cards'.  As reported to me, customers were not offered cash refunds.

Anyone else out there have a similar problem? BTW, if you really want the best deals, try Dollar General, Dollar Tree, and Big Lots first.

*****

It seems the Grace Episcopal Church in Sheffield has been declared a public nuisance. Let's hope the committee to save the 110 year old building will have the public support it needs. You don't have to live in Sheffield to support its restoration. We'll have more on this later.

*****

How about Florence nuisances? We hear the city building code enforcer has told a certain rental company to bring all its properties up to snuff or tear them down. Slum landlords? Yes, even in the Shoals.

*****

Coming Thursday: Christmas history repeats itself in Lauderdale County. (Don't think "Merry," because it won't be.)



Shoalanda

Got a Light?

The Florence-Lauderdale Detention Center may soon begin to sell electronic cigarettes. One rationale for the sale of these e-cigs is said to be inmates destroying electrical wall outlets when trying to light contraband smokes.

We don't doubt that's true; however, cigarettes are not the only contraband to be found in jails. Cell phones are also widely smuggled into such facilities. Cell phones also need to be charged--something done via wall outlets or light sockets. No, simply cutting down, or even out, the contraband smokes won't solve the problem of destruction of jail property.

How does contraband enter the detention center and other jails? The Lauderdale jail has visitation via telecommunicatons, so we can rule that out as a conduit. Some inmates work outside the jail or are ferried to various courts. We're not sure how much supervision these inmates have during these excursions, but we would imagine quite a bit.

You don't think any of these deputies/jailers are bringing in any contraband to supplement their incomes, do you? (In case you're wondering, that comment was directed to south of the river.)

*****

We understand the Lauderdale Detention Center may be getting some high profile residents fairly soon. Stay tuned...



Shoalanda

Have You Been Blessed?

Most who are reading this today have been richly blessed. If you doubt it, just compare your income to that of those who live in 99% of other countries. Now compare your income to the average U.S. citizen. You're on a roll, so compare your income to residents of Alabama and the Shoals area. How about it? Aren't you doing pretty well?

Sadly not everyone can say that. Many are children who have no say in how they are being raised or what their parents do. Others have serious illnesses that prevent them from continuing to work. Think about that phrase "but for the grace of God..."

Please adopt at least one person this holiday season. Christmas may be just another day to many, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you haven't yet selected someone to help, here are a few ideas:

* Salvation Army Angel Tree (children & senior adults) at Regency Square. You may also call (256) 764-4432.

* Hospice patient stocking tree: Link

* CASA (children) (256) 765-0041 or email to andreaholt@lauderdalecasa.org.



Shoalanda

The Florence Christmas Parade Miracle

I told Miz Shoalanda that I had to tell ever body about this, it being the Christmas season and all. Last night was supposed to have been the annual Dog Ear holiday parade, but the school had to hock all the band instruments in order to have enough mac and cheese to last in the lunchroom until January, so the whole family decided to pack up and catch the annual Zip City parade.

Well as luck would have it, the mayor of Zip City had done gone and cancelled that parade as well cuz all the rain had washed out most of their one paved road. Let me tell you cousin Elmo and his wife Sally was both upset over that since Judy Lee won the Zip City Collard Princess pageant this year and they was all dyin' to see her on the parade's onliest float.

But all warn't lost. Ever since Judy Lee dyed her hair green last summer she's been hearin' how she should join the Kudzu Queens. It seems they all was going to be in Florence's parade, so off we set for the big city. Elmo's youngest boy Barney was especially excited and he don't get that way often since he shot his eye out with that Daisy air rifle he got two years ago.

Once we got in Florence there was more people than at Congressman Freeble's funeral last year in Dog Ear. Give the people what they want, I guess. Anyhoo, just as we all saw that sea of green hair, Judy Lee pushed little Barney and herself to the front of a whole bunch of bird watchers. At least I guess that's what they were cuz ever time a group of girls passed by they would start talking about those cute little birds with the topknots. 

Judy Lee started waving real big like and told Barney to do the same. One of the Kudzu ladies saw them and started throwing candy. Now if there's anything little Barney likes, it's free candy, so he stuck his little head out powerful close to the lady throwin' all the Tootsie Rolls.

The next thing I knew there was a scream like at one of those horror movies the Dew Drop Drive-In used to show on Friday nights. Yep, one of those pieces of candy hit Barney right in the eye. His bad eye.

It swelled up somethin' terrible and by the time we got back to Elmo's house it looked like a blue baseball. Elmo and Sally kept tellin' little Barney not to cry cuz it could have been his good eye that got hit, but that didn't seem to help none at the time. Sally got some frozen possum out of the freezer and put it on Barney's eye and told him to go on to bed and stop complainin'. By then it was pretty late, so we decided to spend the night at Elmo's and get an early start back to Dog Ear the next morning.

Now here's the really strange part. When little Barney got up this morning he could see out of both eyes. Yep, that Tootsie Roll undid the damage the BB had done. Now if that ain't a Christmas miracle I don't know what is. So now Elmo and Sally want to thank the Kudzu Queens for makin' them the happiest folks in Zip City.


Merry Christmas to all who read this,

Bubba Leroy Smuckpucker II

History Repeats Itself?

Yesterday we compared 2013 to 1950. It would seem a bit of more recent history is about to repeat itself in Lauderdale County. Many officials have remained mum on the big story, but not all. Watch this space for future developments.

*****

Want to adopt a new family member? Don't cause a riot at the Colbert Shelter; here's your best bet:

Give Us a Chance!

Shoalanda

It's 1950, and...

* The local university is rampant with crime against women.

* A local pol has just used his influence to secure a job for a family member.

* Florence has lost a fantastic opportunity to a larger city.

* Colbert and Lauderdale Counties are at each other's throats.

* Many local cities are turning their backs on the animal problem.

* Locals are moving north to find good jobs.

No, wait. That may have been 1950, but it's still true in 2013. The more things change...?

*****

We've received many comments on the local ambulance wars over the past months. We've saved all that has been forwarded to us and plan to do at least one blog on what's wrong...and right...with local ambulance service. We welcome reader input on this and all issues.



Shoalanda

Nothing Wrong with an Attractive Sow's Ear

There's nothing wrong with wanting to do better and be better. There is something wrong with failing to comprehend or admit one's limitations. The 450#, 78 year-old ballet dancer isn't going to perform Swan Lake for the president. Neither is the Shoals going to be New York City...nor should it want to be.

Many boats have already sailed in the success regatta. In fact, they sailed so long ago that the winner, usually Decatur, has already retired many of them. Things are tough all over.

We see people laugh when a new business is announced which employs only 50 workers, but should they? Announce one new business a week and see what that adds up to. It won't make up for the loss of International Paper or (the mythical) National Rail Car, but it's a start.

*****

We love to read of increased enrollment at UNA and of all the activity on campus, but somehow committing crimes or dumping crime victims doesn't seem to be one we should be proud of--yet it happens pretty often:

Alleged UNA Rape

*****

Maybe it's time to take a hiatus from recruiting new industry, students, etc., to check on nurturing and keeping what we already have?



Shoalanda

Bronner Hog Tied

Like Dr. David Bronner or not, it's obvious a resolution passed by the RSA board will severely limit his ability to invest RSA funds. Bronner just may become the Internet Explorer of Alabama investing:

 

*****

International Paper has donated 10K to Lawrence County schools. That should go a long way once IP officially leaves the building. Any of our readers done much sight-seeing in Lawrence County recently? Moulton is its richest city. Think about it...

*****

Ever notice when Florence/Lauderdale law enforcement discuss a serious crime, they usually state it began at a club in Sheffield. Hmmmm...

Shoalanda

Gary Hugh Stancil: Another Blot on Franklin County Schools

Subjects Taught Physical Education

Bio I have been a physical education teacher for 14 years.  I received my MAEd and BSEd degrees from The University of North Alabama(2001, 1993) and  a BSEd (social science) from THE University of Alabama (1989).  I am Phil Campbell High School graduate (1977).  ***** "Gary Hugh Stancil, 54, 5272 U.S. 43, Spruce Pine, was indicted on four counts of attempting to commit a controlled substance crime and one count of second-degree manufacturing a controlled substance, Franklin County Sheriff Shannon Oliver said." ***** Well, that might explain the cadaverous look... Shoalanda

Did Someone Say It Was Impossible?

 

 Photo courtesy USA Today

Ahem, way to go Auburn! Let's keep that crystal football in the state!

The Staff at Shoalanda Speaks

A Little Customer/Client Service, Please?

Mr. Gibbs: A Heavenly Shelter Rescue!

We receive scads of e-mails about bad customer service or inferior service or lost/stolen items/pets. We choose not to publish these since we don't have space, they are subjective, and our blog deals with mainly political/criminal issues.

However, we're aware that many business owners don't know how they or their employees are perceived by the general public. Some don't care, but some are simply oblivious to problems in their business. We were impressed by this blog and hope everyone reads it:

Changing Vets or Mr. Gibbs' Revenge

We wish we could have been there...

*****

While on the subject of local blogs, we'll move on to OB's Corner. OB, while hardly objective when it comes to the University of Alabama, is a great sports writer. We may make some radical feminists very unhappy here by stating that, while many women love football, it's usually the male of the species who analyses and dissects the coaching and plays. OB does a great job of this, and we would like to see him start a second blog dedicated to local/state sports. How about it, OB?

*****

Has Twitter increased gambling or made it easier to participate? An interesting article:

Rutland's Private Gambling Tweets

Shoalanda

It Is 2013, Isn't It?

 

From a reader:

I just saw your post on the Tuskegee request, I know why this was requested. I sat on the visitor side for the game with my son, the racial slurs to both us and the people of Florence became so bad we left the game at halftime. I reported this to the police and we were told we were sitting in the wrong place. This is 2013 isn't it? It was our fault so I guess we were fair game to be called names unprovoked. I then told the officers if I had been saying those thing I would be escorted out, he only responded to tell me to sit on the other side…..so yes segregation does exist today, only reversed it seems.

It's a sad commentary on our society no matter which side spews the racism.

*****

Another reader on yesterday's post:

When I saw the post I assumed from the way it was written that applications for the job were just a formality. 

Really? Who woulda thunk it? The things we learn from our readers...



Shoalanda

What's Happening at the Frank Lloyd Wright Home?

Florence is extremely lucky to be home to the only Frank Lloyd Wright structure in Alabama. If you're not familiar with the Stanley and Mildred Rosenbaum home, here's a link:

Wright in Alabama

The City of Florence now owns the home and has meticulously restored it since its 1999 purchase. The home is part of the Arts & Museums program and is staffed primarily by volunteers. It now seems the museum will be getting its own curator.

It should be a plum job with several applicants. We look forward to announcing the lucky ones on the short list...or perhaps the lucky new curator should a short list be dismissed with.



Shoalanda

More Comments on Chief Tony Logan

Comments on Tuscumbia Police Chief Tony Logan seemed to be running 3:1 in support of the former Florence officer, but that was hardly surprising. Individuals will usually post a comment to refute an opinion much more often than to support it.

The one thing missing from most comments? Logic. No, Logan is not a private person due to his salary being paid by the taxpayers of Tuscumbia. Nor would Logan be off limits if he worked in the private sector--he's currently the defendant in a criminal case. The original case may be old, but it is Logan himself who has prolonged it all these years.

Have any of us here ever met Logan? We can't speak for other team bloggers, but Shoalanda herself has never met him.We do know he's taking up valuable Lauderdale County tax dollars by continuing to appeal his Florence DUI conviction on a legal technicality.

We're at a little loss as to why someone who believes in following rules has low self esteem. We're going to put that comment in the same file as those which inform us an 11 year-old girl seduced her rapist. Narcissism should never be mistaken for self-esteem.

*****

Is a police chief ever above the law? Hmmmm. Perhaps we should ask former Florence Chief Rick Thompson.

*****

We have an interesting addendum to our list of cremains locations. One friend thinks Matthew Fox's remains should be scattered at Arx Mortis where he stored the tools he used to dismember Amanda Taylor.



Shoalanda

Honoring Those Who Pass?

Cremains on Football Field

No matter how diametrically opposed our ideals or beliefs may be, we wish no one ill; however, it's appointed once for man to die. So when that time comes for certain locals, we have some thoughts on where to dispose of their ashes.

Doug Arnold, CEO of Helen Keller Hospital: Any old courtroom should do. After all, he hasn't been shy about filing lawsuits in every venue he can think of.

Lauderdale County Sheriff Ronnie Willis: The kitchen at Krispy Kreme. It may not be sanitary, but that never stopped him before.

Tuscumbia Police Chief Tony Logan: Logan's Roadhouse. After all, he thinks it's named for him.

UNA board member Steve Pierce: NCAA Division I headquarters. It's about as close as he'll get.

Oft convicted Jerry Don Crowden: Yard of the Lauderdale County Detention Center. That's where he spent most of his time in life.

*****

If you can think of any others, feel free to e-mail them and we'll be happy to add them to the list.



Shoalanda

Chief Logan, It's Not All About You

If you know the saga of Tuscumbia Police Chief Tony Logan, you know he was once a deputy chief in Florence. He lost that job presumably because of some bad choices. These choices didn't bring Logan any ill gotten gain or harm any ex-girlfriends; they were just to help friends, but they were still unethical, and he paid the price. Anyone wonder why someone of his intelligence made those choices?

Anyone wonder why he continues to fight a DUI conviction that he without a doubt deserved? How many thousands of dollars has Logan spent in order to prove he's above the law, and why does he think he's special?

Some months ago a person whose veracity is beyond question told us of attending a funeral visitation at which Logan was present. Many in attendance related fond memories of the dear departed, but Logan's tales all revolved around himself.

Now we have the investigation into the murder of Brioni Rutland. Chief Logan stated it was the "craziest three days of my life." We have news for Logan; the three days were hardly any better for Rutland's family and friends. So why is it always about Logan?

More importantly, what does that bode for Tuscumbia? Narcissists come in all socio-cognitve groups, but one in power just might be one to watch rather than to laugh at.



Shoalanda