Sen. Smooter Speaks on the Ag Center

State senator Horatio Leander Smooter IV of U-Turn, Alabama, has graciously consented to pay us another visit. We took the opportunity to ask him some questions on the proposed Lauderdale County agriculture center.

SS: Sen. Smooter, do you support the proposed new mega-coliseum for Lauderdale County?

HS: First, let me say thank you for having me back again. It's always nice to renew relations between U-Turn and the Shoals. I want to go on record as saying I support Mel and Mal.

SS: Mel and Mal?

HS: Yes, that's Sen. Tim Melson and Sen. Malpractice Stutts to those of you who don't rub shoulders with us chosen ones in Montgomery. 

SS: But aren't they taking different sides?

HS: It would seem so, and we agree with them.

SS: We'll take that as a "no comment." Do you foresee the legislature voting on this issue before the session is over?

HS: Well, as you know, anything can happen. We live in a world where a dermatologist can be governor and Ed Henry thinks he can run for the U.S. Senate. Let's just say that we're going to give the new ag center the same consideration we always give the education budget.

SS: That little a chance, huh? Before you leave, do you have any parting words for our readers?

HS: Indeed, I do. For all of you currently residing in Moulton, we in U-Turn would just love to have you move to our fair city. I'm not going to, ahem, prevaricate and say we don't have any witches in U-Turn, but we at least don't provide them with their own brooms.

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Some facts about the ag center:

1. It will be financed mainly via a loan from the USDA. We've heard speculation this is why it has to be dubbed an ag center. We welcome any more informed comments on naming, which appears to be a drawback to public support.

2. If the funding isn't passed in this legislative session, the center may not come to fruition at a later date, as Doc Larry has suggested it can.

3. The center will not be in the wilds of nowhere as some have suggested, but in the eastern end of Florence (albeit just outside the city limits) immediately south of Florence Fire Station No. 2 on Florence Boulevard (pictured as red dot on above map).