New Heights in Tourism Vision

For those of you who may have questioned Rob Carnegie’s vision in relation to the upcoming barbecue cook-off at McFarland Park, you couldn’t be more wrong. Hackers have sent us Carnegie’s notes straight from his official planning page, and the diversity of events over the next few years is amazing.


2016 BBQ Festival – Featuring pork barbecue with special musical guests the Mulholland Muslim Trio.

2017 BBQ Festival – Featuring beef barbecue with special dance program by the Hindu Hillbilly Haints.

2018 BBQ Festival – Featuring chicken barbecue with hands on neck-wringing exhibitions by a local Santerian cult.

2019 BBQ Festival – Featuring goat barbecue with special gypsy theme including a round of “Are you smarter than a professional pickpocket?”

2020 BBQ Festival – Featuring turkey barbecue with special guest Les Nessman interviewing Florence city council members on the topic of bombing the Four-Lane Shopping Center with live turkeys.

2021 BBQ Festival – Featuring possum barbecue with special appearances by local Red Cross volunteers demonstrating the proper care and dressing of bite wounds.

2022 BBQ Festival – Featuring squirrel barbecue with special guests the Kentucky Headhunters backed up on stage by a Power Point presentation on Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.

2023 BBQ Festival – Uh, give me time; I’ll think of something.

*****

A reader has asked:

Texas Town to Build $62.8M High School Football Stadium

The gauntlet has been thrown. Will the citizens of Muscle Shoals respond?

Our reply:

Let’s not give them any ideas.