Thursday, January 10, 2013

What the Shoals Thinks of Mayor David Bradford

Our readers haven't been exactly shy when commenting on the escapades of Muscle Shoals Mayor David Bradford, aka the Great Turtle Hunter (You're guaranteed safe from killer turtles as long as I'm your mayor. Well? You haven't see any recently, have you?).

Muscle Shoals Mutant Mayor
Donatello Bradford

From "South Bound": I've always thought the name Trojans has come to have too many sexual meanings. Now Muscle Shoals High can have a name that fits. The Mighty Turtle Hunters.

From "Killen Resident": How did this bozo get to be mayor? I used to think half the stories I heard about Muscle Shoals were fiction. Now I'm not so sure.

From "Damsel in Distress": Just get robbed at Walmart. Muscle Shoals will send two cops, one to take your statement and one to buy the Little Debbie Cakes.

From "Biology Bob": It's really not funny. You can laugh but that kind of slaughter and condoning it can disrupt the ecosystem. Just think how many drug dealers turtles eat out by Gnat Pond Road.

From "Layla": I saw a comical comment that asked about who paid for the damage to Bradford's police car. Yeah, I wanna know that too. I hope everyone is at the next city council meeting and asks some real questions.

From "Mistress of the Garden": Doesn't sound like things have changed since I moved from MSC 15 yrs ago. M&M's need to be restarted.

From "Bambi's Dad": First a turtle, then a deer. I hope those innocent turtles know we'll give them shelter on the reservation whenever they need it.

There were a few more, but some couldn't be edited enough for publication. How do we personally feel? Whether Mayor David Bradford shot the turtles for food or for their shells of just for "fun," we now think much less of him than previously. Killing any of God's creatures shouldn't come easily.

We'll continue to take memes/artwork for future blogs.

Editor's note: Three of the above memes were sent to us by the same person; we infer these were forwarded to that individual. If anyone wishes credit for these, please contact us. Again, we're still accepting memes if any readers have others.



  1. I have uncovered that Police Chief Robert Evans, as patrolman Robert Evans, regularly slayed turtles on his midnight shift at Gnat Pond, which is out of the city limits of Muscle Shoals. This information has been confirmed from various sources who said MSPD regularly wiped out killer turtles at Gnat Pond, thus eradicating any possible collisions with vehicles or drug dealers fleeing as the police officers shot at the turtles.

  2. Now that I've read the whole story, I understand why so many people living by Gnat Pond thought the drug dealers were shooting each other's houses and cars up every night. Turns out, it was just MSPD out there slaying turtles!! Hmm, who knew?!?!

  3. Dear Mayor (Slayer) Bradford;

    In today’s newspaper, you refused to comment on your past shooting of dangerous turtles and the people’s police car. I am asking you, as a tax payer and person who voted for you twice, to stand up and comment on this matter. Your sarcastic remark to Times Daily was extremely childish. You stated it was a totally different situation; that an officer shot a deer on federal property. I beg to differ! Both TVA and public roadways are funded by tax payers, correct? That police car you shot up was paid for by tax dollars, correct? You were obviously on tax payer’s time, correct?

    It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public roadway. Officer Scoggins didn’t do that. It is illegal to discharge your service weapon from a police car at wildlife. Officer Scoggins did not do that either.

    Also, isn’t Officer Scoggins FBI sniper qualified? One shot; animal down. No reckless endangerment there when he is considered a sharp shooter. You shot your own police car. What a klutz! Now that’s reckless endangerment! Why wasn’t the ABI notified?

    Slayer Bradford – you have broken MANY rules as a police officer and now you have broken the biggest rule in politics which is "being consistent." Officer Scoggins deserves the same treatment as you and all of your colleagues have gotten. Tuscumbia stood by Chief Tony Logan when the world wanted to hang him. You have officially defined the term “Double Standard.”

    And for the record, Muscle Shoals being dubbed “the fastest growing city in the Shoals” has NOTHING to do with any of your actions as Mayor. It’s because of the school. Please don’t take any credit.