Friday, January 11, 2013

They're Here/Turtle Killer Dweebs

They're here. No, not body snatchers, but soul snatchers--pornographers. We don't like to think about such people living in our town, in the Shoals, but they do.

Let's look at Patricia Ayers. She states on her Facebook page that she has three children. It's a good bet that only one of them is a girl. Or, it could be something even worse, if possible. She also relates her eight year-old daughter had a "speech delay." This may mean there were other problems. The child was easy to manipulate and may have been more prone to irritate her step-father.

Yes, it's a sad fact that Patricia Ayers may have preferred her husband David to her child. We've seen that before with Shaun Shapley and his wife, a wife who even stood by the man who killed her daughter. Patricia doesn't seem to be that fast on the uptake, looking on witchcraft sites for spells to help her lose weight.

Ayers Home at Johnson Cross Roads

Now the state has all her children, and the little girl is emotionally scarred. Many would say put Patricia Ayers in prison for life and toss away the key. In today's Alabama judicial system, that's almost impossible. We say give Patricia a lobotomy and find her a job scrubbing floors. If we don't, she'll just find another sick man that she loves more than her children.


Long rumored to exist in the Shoals area, it's now been confirmed that the Turtle Killer Dweebs (TKD) is no mythical organization. While little is known of this secret society, it's believed the TKD train police officers who have aspirations for higher rank.

The TKD is purported to have formed symbiotic relationships with local body shops, drug dealers, and Chinese restaurants. It's motto is "To Leave no Turtle Shell Unturned or Unshot."

While the hierarchy of the TKD is still somewhat nebulous, defectors from this mystic group claim two of its highest ranking officials have now infiltrated Muscle Shoals city government. It's also been suggested that the City of Florence has offered asylum to those who wish to leave behind the violent nature of the TKD and has provided safe houses for the dissidents.

We can't promise that we'll bring our readers updates on the society's latest machinations since those who have previously reported on the TKD are rumored to lie at the bottom of Gnat Pond; however, the publishers of the Franklin series have offered us a book contract...


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