Thank God & Greyhound - Ta Ta, Rhea

Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer has attributed her loss in yesterday's election to Lauderdale County voters marking a straight Republican ticket. Yet Dewey Mitchell in Lauderdale managed to overcome such voters. No, Rhea, you even lost your home boxes of Elgin and Center Star. Political office shouldn't be used for personal vendettas. Yes, it always has been misused by some, but today's voters have a right to expect more from their elected officials.

Congratulations, Roger Garner!

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We've received several questions concerning the termination of Killen police chief Mark Parker. We have heard no rationale for his dismissal that we can confirm. We urge all interested Killen residents to inquire into the matter with their elected officials. If you live in Killen, the mayor and council serve you, work for you.

You may not get an answer for several reasons, but if you feel these elected officials are not responsive to the citizens of Killen, there will be a chance to replace them in not quite four years. In the mean time, keep a close eye on them. The watchful eye of the public has been known to make politicians and children behave.

We have to ask if the Killen council, like Cherokee, had previously met in private to discuss this?

OB's Corner has contact information: Mark Parker

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Shoalanda

Just Which Is It, Commissioner Fulmer?

Is Lauderdale EMS the best ambulance service for Florence and Lauderdale County? Most efficient and economical? Those with experience in such matters will have to decide that; we do think the contract needs to be bid whenever there's a promising new player in town or if there have been complaints concerning the current ambulance service.

Have there been complaints about Lauderdale EMS? What does Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer think? That seems to depend...

Fulmer and Thornton said they have received complaints about slow response time by Lauderdale EMS. Fulmer said she has expressed concerns to Lauderdale EMS officials. Fulmer said the commission would be obligated to look at the possibility if better service can be provided. - From the June 6, 2012 TimesDaily

Lauderdale County Commissioner Rhea Fulmer said...she had some concerns about response time issues with Lauderdale EMS but those have been addressed by Lauderdale EMS Director Bruce Carson. Fulmer asked if the commission was looking at the possibility of rebidding the contract because Shoals Ambulance Service is trying to locate in the area. - From the June 13, 2012 TimesDaily

Fulmer said she doesn’t understand why the county is leaving “good quality” EMS service. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” she said. - From the June 26, 2012 TimesDaily

So what occurred in that seven day period that produced such a 180 degree turn in Ms. Fulmer's thinking? A conversation with the Lauderdale EMS manager? Without similar conversations with those who are not connected to the current ambulance service, we doubt Mrs. Fulmer would get a very unbiased picture of why there's a delay in response time.

Is rebidding because Shoals Ambulance has entered the picture? Certainly. Remember that county commissioners should want the best for their citizens, be it Shoals or Lauderdale EMS. What does it hurt to let Shoals Ambulance tell you what they can do...that is unless your mind is already made up by whatever happened between June 6th and June 13th?

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Some readers have contacted us concerning the high number of patients being transported to Huntsville Hospital by Lauderdale EMS. The ambulance service is affiliated with Keller EMS which is in turn affiliated with Huntsville Hospital. We consulted with a physician who offered this:

This likely has to do with the state plan for handling accidents. Anytime there is a loss of consciousness or a potential for head trauma the EMS must institute the state plan which calls for the patient to be taken to a Level I trauma service. Huntsville is the closest one. Keller does not even participate in the State Emergency Plan, and ECM is a level III because we do not have neurosurgical coverage 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If we did we could qualify for Level I and in the future with a new hospital I look for us to go to a Level II if we can recruit the right people.

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We've been lax in adding to our Shoals Eyesore List. We will have some more entries with revealing photos later this week. If you have a candidate for our list, send it on. There's plenty of competition.



Shoalanda

Sam Pendleton is Right on the Money

A Guest Editorial by John Q. Health-Care-Consumer

The people of Lauderdale County and Florence deserve better than what they are being fed, and they have no idea of the workings behind the scenes by the two opposing hospitals to keep RegionalCare from building a new facility. One only has to ask themselves what HH and HKH have to fear from RegionalCare replacing their aging outdated structure which they currently occupy. Sam Pendleton is right that the battle has been one sided. After the new Shoals Ambulance Service in Muscle Shoals was essentially, but temporarily, shut down by strong arm tactics from the HKH administration, and behind the scenes wrangling by HH (the puppet master), people began to see how things were going to play out.

As HH pours more and more money into HKH there is no way for them to recoup their losses except by eventually acquiring that hospital and its employees. Currently HH owns or operates every hospital in north Alabama with exception of Moulton, Russellville, and the former ECM. They have already made a play for Moulton, essentially sealing the corridor across north Alabama. Having seen this type of widespread acquisition before, I can tell you the next step. These outlying hospitals become feeder units for the big HQ in Huntsville. You start to lose essential services and they maintain a few beds and an ER. It requires transport of the more critically ill patients a long distance, and in an emergent situation time is precious.

I for one do not want to see the Shoals lose its access to good quality care. There is only one hospital on the north side of the river serving Lauderdale county and portions of the southern Tennessee counties. Pendleton is right, unless the city and the county stand up to these bullies we stand to lose a great deal, which not only includes access to medical care but the economic stability the presence of this hospital brings to the area. Business leaders should make sure that they consider what is at stake.

As I understand it, the certificate of need board (CON) meeting is scheduled to be held in November here in the Shoals. Strategic placement of one of the board members has already been accomplished by the forces opposing the new hospital and it will be an uphill battle. However, the only logical decision  by this board will be to allow the construction since it is a replacement, not a new facility, and it includes surrendering a number of beds to the CON.

For once I can agree with Mr. Pendleton, it is time to take a stand and make the facts known.

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It's also been pointed out that many of the TimesDaily articles enumerating hospital activities don't feature events at ECM. Their recent article on volunteers at HKH is a prime example. According to a very knowledgeable source, ECM has basically the same program and a much larger volunteer staff. This source feels the TD's bias has become very transparent.

We have to agree and we have to ask why? Why is Shelton Publishing so intent upon featuring HKH to the exclusion of ECM/RegionalCare? Why does the Colbert County Commission seek to exclude Shoals Ambulance? Why do Rhea Fulmer and Fay Parker seek to prevent a bid on ambulance service for Lauderdale? The answers, if we ever get any, should be most interesting.

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The Connection has begun a new series on the ambulance situation in Colbert County. We hope their investigative staff can come up with some rationale for the 911 board and commission's recent actions.

Ambulancegate - Part I

Shoalanda

More Charges in Dylan Milam Murder?

Dylan Milam

Sources close to the investigation into 13 year-old Dylan Wayne Milam's murder say more charges are possible. A family member of the 13 year-old shooter reportedly gave information on the youth's behalf that has been proved false. If Colbert County does charge the family member, it will likely be for hindering prosecution, but a former Colbert law enforcement official has stated the family member could also be charged as an accessory after the fact. The case will likely be presented to the next Colbert County grand jury.

The shooter reportedly lived with his mother and her boyfriend on the outskirts of Leighton. He was a student at Colbert County High School and would have entered the 8th grade next autumn. As reported earlier, this young man was no stranger to law enforcement in Colbert County. Do you remember what you were doing at the age of 13, gentle readers? We're going to guess it wasn't plotting or covering up a murder while being abetted by an adult.

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Shoals Ambulance is again in the news. The company is looking into bidding on the Lauderdale County contract, assuming it's put up for bids for the new fiscal year starting September 1st. Commissioners Rhea Fulmer and Fay Parker have publicly stated they see no need for a bid in the first year of a new three-year contract period for Lauderdale EMS, a subsidiary of Keller EMS. Really? How interesting...

We had been told an attorney general's opinion on Shoals Ambulance's initial foray into local service was possible by the start of this week; however, owner Bryan Gibson has yet to hear. We're betting on such an opinion being favorable to Gibson and the City of Muscle Shoals.



Shoalanda

Rhea Tays Fulmer v. Joe Frank Fowler/Roy Moore

Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer--Current Lauderdale Commissioner

Democratic incumbent Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer will face Joe Frank Fowler in the April 24th runoff. The winner will face Republican Roger Garner in the November general election to determine who will represent District 1 on the Lauderdale County Commission.

Both Fulmer and Fowler have stated they support RegionalCare building its new medical center in Lauderdale County. Not too many surprises here, are there? Fowler is a former Lauderdale County school board member, and both candidates come with a lot of baggage. Since Fowler has failed to utilize social media in this race and has already finished second to Fulmer in the March 13th primary, it's not difficult to predict Fulmer will win the nomination.

Is she a better choice? We believe the race offers a Morton's fork; therefore, we're not endorsing either candidate. Republican Garner has shown he's extremely effective at campaigning, so whoever wins the April election will have a strong opponent in the fall. Thank God.

More candidate info:

Click to Enlarge

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We've had reports of at least one reader being disturbed by our reference to Roy Moore as a returning fungus. Let's look back at some of Moore's greatest moments...

1. He called the state's first case of mad cow disease a plot to help pass an animal identification system.

2. He told his replacement Chief Justice Gorman Houston that he was going to hell.

3. He placed a granite monument depicting the Ten Commandments inside the state judicial building...complete with the wording "c. Roy Moore." (We're pretty sure God doesn't like plagiarism.)

4. He said in 2005 that homosexuality shouldn't be tolerated in Alabama. (We're not weighing in on the right or wrong of that particular orientation. We just want to be sure Moore doesn't decide to not tolerate them with gas chambers.)

We could go on, but you get the idea. We'll gladly accept comments concerning Roy Moore's beliefs and his candidacy.

Shoalanda

Fowler, Fulmer, or Beavers? It Boils Down to Baggage

Most of us wake up with a little baggage under our eyes. When we travel, baggage follows us to our destination. A new relationship? Baggage treks along after us there as well. Sometimes it's needed; sometimes, it's a liability.

Both Joe Frank Fowler, former Lauderdale County School Board member, and Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer, current District I Commissioner have plenty of baggage. Many considered Fowler less than efficient before he retired from the board, and many others came to shudder whenever Fulmer made one of her off the wall pronouncements concerning county employees at the commission's semi-monthly meetings.

Unfortunately, we often choose the lesser of several evils when endorsing a candidate, and that we do today with Dan Beavers Sr. Beavers has served the school board well and cannot serve the commission in any worse manner than Fulmer. We therefore endorse Dan Beavers Sr. for Lauderdale County Commission Democratic nominee for Place I.

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We've had several readers in Lauderdale County contact us concerning unresolved car burglaries in the eastern end of the county. If you've been a victim, send us any facts in your case, and we'll run the story during our next "Bad Boys" segment.

Shoalanda

Utility Bills: How does 200K/Month Sound?

We've done several blogs over the past months on the problems and general malfeasance at National Alabama. Many of these problems seem to have overshadowed smaller ones, if 200k a month could be considered small. Yes, that's what the Barton plant's utility bill usually runs, at least a ballpark figure.

The facility has 2.2 million square feet of floor surface and is 80 feet high. There are suspended ceilings in the approximately 10% of the plant that comprises the office area. We haven't done the math as to cubic feet, but it's safe to say the rather dubious word ginormous would be a fitting adjective.

So...200K a month for 12 months a year? That's not including payroll for the more than 120 hourly workers at the plant and the few executives in residence. We've often heard of families who will bankroll a child in business, but set a time/money limit. In other words, if the child doesn't make it in two years of after 100K dollars, the parent will pull out. We have to wonder if National Alabama's parent RSA has such a limit...

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On a positive note for National Alabama, the plant may not have fire hoses, but does have a sophisticated sprinkler system. We sincerely hope it's never needed.

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Several readers have recently written to inform us that Lauderdale County Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer has gone "blackout" on her Facebook page. In other words, if you don't know her personally, you can't see her page or communicate with her. Perhaps she didn't like the negative feedback over her ethics complaint against George Grabryan?



Shoalanda

Bama Fact Check?/Santa Back at North Pole

Have you visited the website Bama Fact Check? Here's a blurb in their own words:

Bama Fact Check aims to provide readers with regular investigations into the statements of state and local politicians and public figures. The statements of highest priority will be the policy ideas of political figures rather than their negative campaign advertisements or off-the-cuff remarks. Staff members hope to continue this endeavor throughout the general election and indefinitely. The project’s goal rests on a fundamental tenet of journalism and democracy: to provide society with the information it needs to be free and self-governing.

Each political statement researched by Bama Fact Check will receive a “Truth Rating” from a group of staff members. The ratings will range from five, meaning the statement is completely true, to zero, meaning the statement is void of any truth whatsoever.

The site states that Alabama politics will take front stage, but local politics will also be in the mix. We plan to regularly ask questions and hope all of you will as well: Link

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We're sure you know Santa managed to make his yearly rounds Friday night, but for those who want the juicy details of his release from Lauderdale custody, here's a report from J.J. Ray:

Santa was in court on the twenty third and as expected both Grinches were there. DA Chris Connolly failed in his effort to establish the illegal alien status of the bearded man. The report from Riverbend was read into the record and stated that the man though a little quirky was perfectly sane. There was no law against a person stopping to take a rest while exercising his reindeer.

A local vet testified that the reindeer in question were in remarkable condition given their age. One of the females was expecting though he didn't know the name. After hearing testimony and on a motion from Attorney Janice Keeton. Judge Medley ordered the defendant Kris Kringle was sane and free to go about his business, whatever that was.

Rhea Fulmer Michael Tays was furious and reminded the Judge that she was a Republican and there was another election coming up in six years. Judge Medley ignored the comment and left the court room. The DA would not comment stating he had to do some Christmas shopping. As Ms. Tays was pressed for a comment she uttered a profanity and left. The children are safe for tonight.

A footnote to this drama, my wife and I actually met Santa some years ago in upstate New York at a rest area. He was taking two of his reindeer to a vet. One of the reindeer was a baby and quite playful. Apparently the larger one was the mother because she was not too happy with my wife. He was a very jolly and cordial man. Santa actually gave his card to my wife who at the time was a non-believer. She has had the Christmas spirit ever since.

Merry Christmas to all.

J.J.



Shoalanda

Billy Reid Boring? Not to Us!

To a New York Times journalist, Florence designer Billy Reid may be boring. We consider him prudent. Read about his latest award here:

A Few Boring Ways to Spend $300,000

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A recent blog lamented the decadence of the English language in the United States. For an extremely interesting and accurate take on today's misuse of the native tongue, we urge everyone to read:

Why Are Language Rules So Baffling?

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Update on Santa's arrest from J.J. Ray:

It's official Santa was in court today. Judge Medley ordered him to Riverbend for an evaluation. Apparently she thinks he is delusional. He was represented by Attorney of record Janice Keaton. The evaluation is set for Monday the 20th. He is to return on the 23rd back to court for a final determination. The commissioner with the smile like a Grinch Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer was in court. The DA Chris Connolly still insisted if in fact he was the real Santa then he had to be considered an illegal alien and should be remanded to ICE. Nothing else to report but will be back in court on the 23rd.

*****

The Lawrence County, Tennesse, courthouse in Lawrenceburg has been widely discussed in recent years. There are many who would like to see the current modern structure razed and an updated replica of the previous building erected in its place. Here's an image of the original on eBay: Link




Shoalanda

Saving Santa

Saving Santa

By J.J. Ray

Local attorney and Zip City resident Janice Keeton has agreed to represent Santa. He appeared before Republican Judge Carol Medley this morning. Judge Medley set bond at $100.00, which was immediately posted by some local citizens. Sheriff Ronnie Willis was chided for using the combined SWAT Teams from Muscle Shoals and Florence to affect the arrest as they were training in the Zip City community.

The eight reindeer have been placed in protective custody and have gone on an apparent hunger strike because of the loss of their owner. Keeton referred to the arrest of the portly old soul as, “A travesty of justice by Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer and nothing more than headline grabbing by Chris Smith”. Sheriff Willis had no comment at this time as he was still yawning.

Judge Medley has ordered a competency hearing for the purported Santa and is going to settle the case before Christmas Eve. District Attorney Chris Connolly notified the press that he would personally undertake the prosecution of this case. He stated in an interview that, “The county and nation has to be protected form usurpers like this because in my opinion there is no such person as Santa Claus and on top of that he is probably a Republican. I am sure the Attorney General Eric Holder will send some help down from Washington. There is also a possibility that this person could be an 'Illegal Alien'”.

Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer stated in an interview that it was her sworn duty to protect the county from trash like this. Apparently the SWAT team could not locate any reflective cones to put around the sleigh as Commissioner Fulmer had ordered them locked up to keep them away from the EMA director lest he once again use them for something other than county business.

One of the arresting officers said at the scene, “This was a huge and smelly mess”, speaking of the debris left by the eight reindeer. He also stated that he could not understand the constant smile on the face of Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer as the cuffs were placed on Santa. He related the smile as “Grinch Like”.

Here’s hoping that Attorney Keeton can affect a resolution of this case soon as the days are getting short before Christmas Eve. I will report from the Trial as it progresses.

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There seems to be several new Christmas songs out this year. Here are some we predict will become classics:

Please Unwrap Me, Santa by Thelma & the Thongs

Viagra on the Niagara by Chuck Lansdell with backup by Hugh Hefner

Oh, Traffic Cone, Oh, Traffic Cone by Rhea & the Commissioners

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It's going to be cold for the next few days; please remember to bring in your pets or provide them with warm bedding and drinkable water.


Shoalanda

Santa Arrested in Lauderdale County

Zip City: Reports of an illegally parked red and white sleigh in northern Lauderdale County brought Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer and County Attorney Chris Smith out in the cold early this morning. While investigating the case of felony parking, the two also discovered eight cases of animal cruelty.

A reluctant and sleepy Sheriff Ronnie Willis arrested the sleigh's portly owner, an elderly man with no known local address. He's currently being held without bail in the Florence-Lauderdale Detention Center.

Fulmer and Smith immediately called a press conference to announce this was only the tip of the north polar iceberg. Sources say we can expect the arrest of approximately one hundred elves before the end of the month.

Fulmer and Smith's Republican opposition in the 2012 county elections have announced their own investigation into the matter, stating that the arrest serves no purpose in deterring county crime. Privately they have also suggested there may not be a Christmas for anyone under the age of ten this year.

When asked about this possible repercussion of the arrest and subsequent impoundment of the sleigh, both Fulmer and Smith referred all questions to a furry green man in the company of a small dog with antlers. More on this as it develops.

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Cherokee: The Cherokee Lions Club served almost 150 guests at its annual Breakfast with Santa. Congratulations to all these Lions and Lionettes for a job well done.

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The Shoals: Be aware of a new phone scam similar to the one involving Listerhill Credit Union last year. The current phone calls involve SunTrust bank and have been traced to Honduras. SunTrust is aware of this new scam, but if you should receive a call purporting to be from another institution, be sure to report it to the bank or credit union referenced.

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If you've had problems viewing the new Internet magazine The Connection, these glitches should now be taken care of. Part II in their investigative report on Rhea Fulmer's ethics complaint against George Grabryan is scheduled for early in the week. We look forward to their in depth look into what has become a misuse of both county time and state resources.


Shoalanda

Santa Comes to Cherokee

*****

There was no warning when he came to town;
Chuck was at the ER, and the 3G was down.
The Council was at BK, and the line was long;
Thelma was at home, hanging up her thong.

Santa looked around and shook his head;
Even People's Drugs was empty--the town was dead.
He knew they'd been naughty, knew all their ways;
How could he make it better? He'd give them Rhea Tays!

Shoalanda

Who's a Crook?

Apparently most of us are, at least if we purchase new merchandise online. Ideally, anyone making an online purchase makes note of the amount and when filing their state tax return the next year adds a 4% use tax to their annual tax bill.

So, are we as a state actually doing this? According to the State Department of Revenue, 1.8 million individuals filed returns for 2009, but only 6,800 paid this online use tax.

This brings us back to what we can do to improve the economy in the Shoals area. The State of Alabama is upset at losing its 4% sales tax, but makes no mention of the taxes lost by county and municipal governments. Of the 1.8 taxpayers, not one paid these local taxes. How do state, county, and municipal governments recoup this lost revenue? The answer is there's probably no way to do so unless the online retail businesses charge these taxes--we're not holding our breath.

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Judging by readers' questions concerning ethics complaints filed in the state, most of us are equally in the dark concerning this area of government. Today, The Connection published Part I of its series on ethics, violations, and specifically charges currently being pursued by Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer against Lauderdale EMA Director George Grabryan. You can read this informative article here:

Lauderdale EMA Director Under Ethics Complaint

Thought for the day: "...and don't call me Shirley."

Shoalanda

Decorum Ain't What It Used To Be or Does Your Viagra Lose Its Flavor...

Late yesterday we perused our e-mail and, judging from the amount of communications concerning Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer, we felt another blog devoted to that champion of roaming delinquent traffic cones would most likely be a given; but surely those readers in Colbert and Franklin Counties were now bored by our local practitioner of the absurd. So, as a good friend and correspondent would say, "What will you write about today?"

Have no fear, a reader from Colbert County has saved this Thanksgiving Eve. We shall wax poetic on the subject of Viagra.

"But, Shoalanda," you say, "are you sure this is a proper subject for a political blog?" Hmmm, good point, but it is the mayor's Viagra. We received the following communication from a reader in Cherokee:

Wants you or someone to figure out why this public official and/or so called PREACHER would post anything like this on FB or any kind or social networking site,

Chuck Lansdell I am thankful this year that my Viagra only lasted 3 hours and 59 minutes so i didn't have to go to the hospital.

about an hour ago This is the most ridiculous, disgusting thing I have ever read from a GROWN man. I think this just goes to show everyone how classy this man is. This is what he posted on his FACEBOOK site, quote or no quote from Jay Leno, This just shows he is starving for attention and is going to do or say anything to get it. I think that you should do a story on this to show everyone how disrespectful and PATHETIC this man really is!!!!!!


Perhaps the question is, after Thelma's Thong, does the Preacher's Potency seem that lurid? Let's ask some thought provoking questions here:

1. Would Florence Mayor Bobby Irons discuss erectile dysfunction on Facebook?
2. Would Mrs. Sanford appreciate Ian broaching the subject of their sex life?
3. When was the last time you heard your preacher tell a Viagra joke, on the Internet no less?
4. Would anyone blame Chad Coker for lying about once being Cherokee's Municipal Judge?
5. Does anyone now think Cherokee is anything less than a joke?
6. Did Chuck bet he could get his name in today's blog?
7. Did Rhea pay Chuck to take the heat off her?
8. Does anyone have a photo of Chuck in a thong they could send us?
9. Is the bird in your kitchen a bigger turkey than Chuck?

Check back tomorrow for updates on any recall or divorce actions...


Shoalanda

No New Music Hall of Fame Director/How to Impeach a County Official

Thirty-five individuals initially applied to become the next director of the Alabama Music Hall of Fame; the special selection committee narrowed the choices down to ten. From that ten, the Hall of Fame Board chose two to interview--in executive session for approximately 90 minutes each.

A public board may call "executive session" if a person's good name is in question--too bad Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer never heard of that; however, we have to agree with the TimesDaily on this one. If the two candidates had so much "iffy" behavior in their pasts, why were they even considered in the first place? Of course, it could be that with the Board's background of terminating employees via e-mail, there were no actual top rate candidates who applied.

Now the candidate chosen by the board has refused the job offer, and the search continues. As of last week the Music Hall of Fame has been without a director for seven months. We can hope the HOF will have a new director by the one-year anniversary of David Johnson's infamous e-mail firing.

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Been wondering how to impeach a county commissioner? Well, here's the skinny:

Alabama Code 36-11-1 through 36-11-25 outlines impeachment for many elected officials. Section 36-11-19 mentions county commissioners and provides five grounds: willful neglect of duty, corruption in office, incompetency, intemperate use of intoxicating liquors or narcotics, or offense(s) involving moral turpitude in office.

Typically, a district attorney requests that a grand jury investigate alleged misconduct or incompetence for impeachable offenses. If the findings indicate cause, the DA prepares a statement of the facts and a complaint requesting for process and relief to the appropriate trial court of jurisdiction.

An impeachment process requires citizens to meet to determine the evidence or issues regarding incompetence or other charges, and then present their evidence directly to legal counsel or the DA.

After charges are filed with the court, the judge sets a jury trial. During the trial, witnesses for both sides would testify to facts they know that show the accused is or is not guilty of the charges made.

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From Doc's Political Parlor concerning Roger Bedford's loss of power and its effect on Russellville (Jumbotron) High School:

The Russelville Tigers have been a football power long before Roger Bedford knew what the four letter words on the Russelville High School boys’ bathroom wall meant.

The Tiger football players will reware (sic) their socks now and ride to the game in the same school bus more than once, that’s all.

Shoalanda

"Let's Do the Ethical Bop" Starring Rhea Fulmer

Let's Do the Ethical Bop

A Play in One Act

By Eugene O'Neal Bridge

Clerk: May I help you, Madam?

Woman: Yes, I'm Rhea Fulmer.

Clerk: And...

Woman: I'm Rhea Tays Fulmer.

Clerk: And...

Woman: I'm Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer.

Clerk: And...

Woman: You don't know who I am?

Clerk: Madam, this is Montgomery. We prefer not to meet any of our citizens, much less acknowledge them.

Woman: Well, I'm a Lauderdale County Commissioner and very important. I'm here to file an ethics complaint.

Clerk: Very well, if you must. What's the nature of the complaint?

Woman: It's against our EMA director George Grabryan. He's loaned out 50 of the county's traffic cones.

Clerk: And...

Woman: Well, that's it. You just can't loan out public property to anybody, you know.

Clerk: Correct. To whom did Mr. Grabryan lend these traffic cones?

Woman: Sam Blackman.

Clerk: And for what nefarious purpose did Mr. Blackman use these traffic cones?

Woman: For training emergency personnel.

Clerk: And this Mr. Blackman...he's some kind of scam artist?

Woman: Well, I wouldn't know about that, but he is on the Lauderdale 911 Board.

Clerk: How did Mr. Blackman arrive at this position?

Woman: The Lauderdale County Commission appointed him.

Clerk: The same commission of which you're a member?

Woman: Uh, yes, but that's beside the point. Just keep filling our your paperwork. Remember, you work for the citizens, and I'm a citizen, therefore you work for me.

Clerk: (Sigh) Quite right. Now, what did Mr. Grabryan receive in exchange for these 50 cones?

Woman: Receive? You mean like money or personal favors?

Clerk: Yes, that's what would make it an ethics violation.

Woman: Hmmm, well, there's more. He fired Ethylene Duster, and she's my friend.

Clerk: I see. Anything else?

Woman: Yes! He hired the wrong person to replace Ethylene.

Clerk: The wrong person? You mean there was someone more qualified?

Woman: Exactly...and he's really cute too.

Clerk: I see. Ms. Fulmer, if you'll just take a seat right over there, someone will be with you in a minute.

Woman: You mean the director of the Ethics Commission?

Clerk: Yes, the director (Sotto voce)...of the Mental Health Department.


Shoalanda

Republican Renaissance in Lauderdale County

Not only does Lauderdale County now have an elected Republican judge, this northwest Alabama bastion of the Democratic party now has its first elected Republican county school board member:

Daniel Patterson, the first Republican elected to the Lauderdale County Board of Education, will be sworn in this Tuesday, November 16th at 8:30 a.m. in Judge Carole Medley's courtroom on the 4th floor of the Lauderdale County Courthouse. The event is open to the public.

*****

Speaking of Democrats, Lauderdale District 1 Commissioner D. C. Thornton barely won reelection to the county commission. Whether this was due to the mistaken premise that actual campaigning wasn't needed to return him to office or if his near-defeat was the result of unrest among the electorate, we won't attempt to speculate here. Still, it does not bode well for Rhea Tays Fulmer in 2012. Her recent antics have brought her more criticism than praise.

*****

Now some Reader Q & A:

Q: Doesn't Shoals Hospital also do cardiac caths? Why is this different that Keller doing it?
A: Our source tells us that Shoals does not do catheterization procedures; they do angiograms which are supposedly less invasive. The source further stated that things do go wrong with these procedures at times and the patient is immediately transferred to ECM. Whether this would be a good point for Keller to argue, we don't know, but it is an interesting comparison.

Q: How many applied for Lauderdale EMA director when George Grabryan was appointed?
A. Thirty individuals applied for this position. Among others, Mr. Grabryan beat out Colbert County Coroner Carlton Utley and Anderson Police Chief Mark Bowers.

Q: Who hired George Grabryan?
A: The Lauderdale County Commission hired Mr. Grabryan as EMA Director. The 911 Board hired him as its director; the commission appoints the 911 Board.

*****

1906 view of Montgomery Avenue in Sheffield: Link




Shoalanda

3G: It's Only Rumor/Send Fulmer to Colbert County

If there's one constant in our e-mail inbox, it's a steady stream of questions concerning local events. The newest rumor seems to be that AT&T will be implementing 3G in the Shoals next week. On the other hand, we understand that the local mug shot mag Hard Times (of all publications) has an article on Mt. Everest getting the elusive 3G before the Shoals.

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Apparently Colbert County is in more need of Rhea Tays Fulmer's debatable investigative skills than is Lauderdale. The secretary for the Colbert County 911 has been terminated after more than 41K turned up missing in an audit of that agency. God forbid anyone should find she also left her office to run errands.

We understand Colbert EMA director Mike Melton has also come under fire recently for certain controversial decisions. More on this later.

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Lock Nine in Sheffield: Link

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Latest video to go viral? Maybe not yet, but it's just been released:





Shoalanda

Storm Warnings for Rhea Tays Fulmer

From our October 24th blog:

A source close to the Lauderdale County Commission has commented: I understand a particular commissioner now has her pets documenting every conversation they have with the director and deputy director. Wonder if she even has their notes on when they took their potty breaks so she can try and throw that out there next time?


While we had no doubt concerning the veracity of our source's comments, we didn't expect them to be proved so literally. After Tuesday's work session of the Lauderdale County Commission, there can be no doubt that every move the EMA director makes is closely monitored by a member of his staff. Perhaps the most important question is: Which one is Rhea Tays Fulmer's pet?

Or, perhaps, the most important question is when did Fulmer begin emulating Howard Dean at his worst? If this is what the commission's work sessions have now become, we can only imagine what the regular meeting will offer next Monday.

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From D.K.:

Victims beware!!! The Alabama Public Safety and Sentencing Coalition is trying to introduce a bill for the next legislative session regarding alternative sentencing. In the bill, it includes an act to do away with the mandatory notification act for victims of violent crime when offenders are being considered for parole. VOCAL was invited to participate in this coalition under the guise this would only affect non-violent offenders. Crime Victims are strongly opposed to this! This will set victims' rights back before the early 80's.

PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LEGISLATORS, JUSTICE SUE BELL COBB (creator of the coalition), and THE PAROLE BOARD to let them know YOU ARE AGAINST THIS BILL! If this bill passes, victims will not be notified by certified mail! If you or a loved one is a victim of a violent crime, this affects you!

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Our local hero today is William Valentine, Lauderdale County Superintendent. Mr. Valentine had the intestinal fortitude to put Commissioner Rhea Fulmer in her place Tuesday. Kudos, Mr. Valentine; we're sure you've won many a new fan for your candor concerning Fulmer's abilities.



Shoalanda

Failure to Communicate/Buyer's Remorse

The line about failure to communicate entered pop culture years ago, but apparently it's still applicable today--at least concerning the Lauderdale Emergency Management Agency. The long awaited in depth article concerning the validity of Rhea Tays Fulmer's attack on EMA Director George Grabryan was published in The Connection yesterday--and, yes, there were some surprises.

We'll let readers have sufficient time to digest the article before we comment:

This is What We Found under the Rock

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And Now Buyer's Remorse

By J.J. Ray

The voters have spoken; buyer’s remorse has sunk the Democrats nationwide. Many talking heads agree that the election was remorse by the voters. Is that factual? Most of the exit polls suggest Obamacare and the economy as the reason for the results.

Many independents and democrats were sold a bill of goods in the “08” election called “Change you can believe in”. Most of them would have bought some swampland in Arizona that year if the world’s number one snake oil salesman had just offered it.

The good news of course is the tea party is finally showing the far left the back door and the triad of Socialisiim is no longer in power. The Prez was almost contrite, almost. Comrades Pelosi, Reid and the Prez have pretty much been neutered. Over 500 state seats have moved to the right and now the fight begins to restore this country to some common sense traditional values.

Cherokee did not have their monthly brawl because the members were voting, Tammy Irons was elected and Carole Medley became the first Republican woman ever to be a District Court Judge and the Alabama House of Representatives is now Republican. Now, that is change you can believe in, Mr. President.

I am told there was no scrap on the View this week and President Bush proclaimed that he is not a racist as Kayne West so ably labeled him. West even admitted he too was accused of being a racist. I learned the proper way to scramble an egg. For some my learning to scramble an egg is not news but you would have to consult my wife the ultimate restaurant manager for her determination. My inability to cook is right up there with my lack of math skills. The JJ motto is, “If it can be nuked that is cooking and thank God for calculators”.

Auburn is now 10 and 0 and there is a possibility we may have another national championship and perhaps another Heisman. Unemployment in the Shoals is down. Sufficient to say this has been such a historical and great week, putting all the good news down on paper would take up a lot of space.

One thing that I did learn during all the politicking was negativity. It is so easy to be negative and listen only to the bad news we forget the good. When you read the various online e-zines, newspapers and TV there is a common thread and that is bad news.

Therefore, I made a decision to find some good news this week and every week. The current environment dictates that we do desperately need good news. Remember:

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” - Anne Frank

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The 1915 Florence Fire Department? Let's hope someone local purchases this find and returns it to the Shoals: Link

Shoalanda