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Let's Do the Ethical Bop
A Play in One Act
By Eugene O'Neal Bridge
Clerk: May I help you, Madam?
Woman: Yes, I'm Rhea Fulmer.
Clerk: And...
Woman: I'm Rhea Tays Fulmer.
Clerk: And...
Woman: I'm Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer.
Clerk: And...
Woman: You don't know who I am?
Clerk: Madam, this is Montgomery. We prefer not to meet any of our citizens, much less acknowledge them.
Woman: Well, I'm a Lauderdale County Commissioner and very important. I'm here to file an ethics complaint.
Clerk: Very well, if you must. What's the nature of the complaint?
Woman: It's against our EMA director George Grabryan. He's loaned out 50 of the county's traffic cones.
Clerk: And...
Woman: Well, that's it. You just can't loan out public property to anybody, you know.
Clerk: Correct. To whom did Mr. Grabryan lend these traffic cones?
Woman: Sam Blackman.
Clerk: And for what nefarious purpose did Mr. Blackman use these traffic cones?
Woman: For training emergency personnel.
Clerk: And this Mr. Blackman...he's some kind of scam artist?
Woman: Well, I wouldn't know about that, but he is on the Lauderdale 911 Board.
Clerk: How did Mr. Blackman arrive at this position?
Woman: The Lauderdale County Commission appointed him.
Clerk: The same commission of which you're a member?
Woman: Uh, yes, but that's beside the point. Just keep filling our your paperwork. Remember, you work for the citizens, and I'm a citizen, therefore you work for me.
Clerk: (Sigh) Quite right. Now, what did Mr. Grabryan receive in exchange for these 50 cones?
A Play in One Act
By Eugene O'Neal Bridge
Clerk: May I help you, Madam?
Woman: Yes, I'm Rhea Fulmer.
Clerk: And...
Woman: I'm Rhea Tays Fulmer.
Clerk: And...
Woman: I'm Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer.
Clerk: And...
Woman: You don't know who I am?
Clerk: Madam, this is Montgomery. We prefer not to meet any of our citizens, much less acknowledge them.
Woman: Well, I'm a Lauderdale County Commissioner and very important. I'm here to file an ethics complaint.
Clerk: Very well, if you must. What's the nature of the complaint?
Woman: It's against our EMA director George Grabryan. He's loaned out 50 of the county's traffic cones.
Clerk: And...
Woman: Well, that's it. You just can't loan out public property to anybody, you know.
Clerk: Correct. To whom did Mr. Grabryan lend these traffic cones?
Woman: Sam Blackman.
Clerk: And for what nefarious purpose did Mr. Blackman use these traffic cones?
Woman: For training emergency personnel.
Clerk: And this Mr. Blackman...he's some kind of scam artist?
Woman: Well, I wouldn't know about that, but he is on the Lauderdale 911 Board.
Clerk: How did Mr. Blackman arrive at this position?
Woman: The Lauderdale County Commission appointed him.
Clerk: The same commission of which you're a member?
Woman: Uh, yes, but that's beside the point. Just keep filling our your paperwork. Remember, you work for the citizens, and I'm a citizen, therefore you work for me.
Clerk: (Sigh) Quite right. Now, what did Mr. Grabryan receive in exchange for these 50 cones?
Woman: Receive? You mean like money or personal favors?
Clerk: Yes, that's what would make it an ethics violation.
Woman: Hmmm, well, there's more. He fired Ethylene Duster, and she's my friend.
Clerk: I see. Anything else?
Woman: Yes! He hired the wrong person to replace Ethylene.
Clerk: The wrong person? You mean there was someone more qualified?
Woman: Exactly...and he's really cute too.
Clerk: I see. Ms. Fulmer, if you'll just take a seat right over there, someone will be with you in a minute.
Woman: You mean the director of the Ethics Commission?
Clerk: Yes, the director (Sotto voce)...of the Mental Health Department.
Shoalanda
