Monday, September 29, 2014

A Word About UNA's Terrorist Threat


While we think the odds of any UNA student caring enough about Che’ Guevara to even imply the possibility of some type of terrorist attack on the anniversary of his death are about 10,000:1, why did someone leave such a threat? We now understand that it’s midterms…ah, we see the light.

Unfortunately, if the person wrote the note to delay his exams, to get sympathy from a girlfriend, or in an act of worship to Cthuhu, it doesn’t matter. He might as well be honoring good ol’ Che‘, since the punishment, whatever it is, will be the same.

Many years ago, a junior high school student in Florence, who was also the son of a faculty member, called in a bomb threat to his school. We knew this family, and it devastated them.

Remember, the student was probably between 12 and 14. That’s hardly an excuse, but what if he had been college age? How can a college student be that dumb? Actually, considering some we’ve met recently, perhaps we’re lacking ourselves to even ask that question.

Will Chief Pastula track him down? It’s certainly possible. He will then be expelled, then arrested, then the fun begins: name in paper, fees to a lawyer, threats of murder and dismemberment from his parents.

When the dust finally settles, he won’t find too many other institutions inviting him into their ivy covered halls. Get a job? Not if the employers know how to Google.

*****

A reliable source has contacted us regarding David Bradford’s endorsement of Phil Andrews for Colbert County Sheriff. When questioned directly by our source, Bradford stated he did indeed endorse Andrews for two reasons: Andrews is both a former Muscle Shoals police officer and a Republican.

While we admit to strong Republican leanings (sorry, Billy), we’re not sure that admitting to being a former Muscle Shoals police officer is a good thing.

*****

Remember, no matter how funny your comments may be, they can't be libelous. We did enjoy reading it though.




Shoalanda

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