Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Winner Is...TD Editor Scott Morris!

SS: Congratulations, Mr. Morris. We were extremely impressed by your parody of Dr. Seuss' Grinch.

SM: It was really nothing at all. Parodies are extremely easy to write. Dr. Seuss did the groundwork. I just changed the words around a little.

SS: Be that as it may, we were greatly impressed, and you're the winner of our 2012 Holiday writing contest.

SM: Me? Cool. What did I win?

SS: A reception. Totally paid for from our bottomless coffers here at Shoalanda Speaks. The entire Shoals area is invited. It will be an event that will go down in history. Just imagine thousands of local citizens coming together at one time to honor you...Scott Morris.

SM: I'm in shock. When and where?

SS: Let's say January 1st. At your house, of course.

SM: Uh, wait a minute. My house? It's only 3000 sq. ft. or so. Who's going to provide security? Who's going to clean up?

SS: Piffle, Scott. Logistics, smogistics. We're paying for the party. You mean if we provide the caviar and champagne, you can't pay for the security and clean up?

SM: I don't have that kind of money. In fact, I don't have that kind of room. This whole reception idea may have been well-intentioned, but I don't think you've really thought it out.

SS: Really, Mr. Morris? Do you possibly think that's exactly what Governor Bentley thought about the wonderful idea of free insurance for everyone in the state? Now, who's the Grinch?

Editor's Note: Obviously the above interview is our own parody. We have no idea how big Mr. Morris' house is or isn't, but we doubt he wants the entire Shoals area to converge on it. We support better health care for the indigent, but also support just a little common sense going into the process of bringing it to the citizens. Governor Bentley may not be perfect like Scott Morris, but we hardly think he's a Grinch simply because he has the financial well-being of the state (read: taxpayers) in mind.


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