Friday, August 31, 2012

Cherokee Chuckles but No Duckles

Cherokee's Big Fix

A Guest Commentary By

State Sen. Horatio Leander Smooter IV 

Miss Shoalanda has asked me once more to clarify some extremely complicated political goings-on, and I'm happy to oblige, since as you know only we state senators are qualified to make laws, interpret them, and explain them. I'm speaking specifically of the Cherokee city council race, but it's not unlike several we've had in my hometown of U-Turn, Alabama.

The first question seems to be "Can a dead person vote?" Well, I'm living proof that dead people can and do elect representatives. After all, suppose your 98 year-old granddaddy dies three days before the election. You knew how he was going to vote, now didn't you? Don't you think he would have wanted you to carry on in his name?  Besides, dead people in Cherokee probably know as much as the living ones anyway.

That brings us to the second point of voting outside of one's district. A district, like age, is just a state of mind. Suppose your brother-in-law is running in District One, but you live just a few blocks away in District Two, or maybe outside the city limits. Do you think a little thing like that should deprive you of your God-given right to vote for a family member? No, didn't think so.

So now we have a sore loser wanting a recount because she lost by two votes. Why even if the one out of district vote is thrown out, she'll still lose by one vote. That's unless there were some other shady goings on. I'm here to tell you that there are no more under the table or questionable deals going on in Cherokee than there are in U-Turn or Chicago or...

Well, harumph, you get the idea.


Mr. Elbert Davis was murdered this week during a home invasion. Some may say that at 88 his life was winding down. Obviously that's true, but whoever killed him still committed capital murder. Whoever attacked Mr. Davis and stole his wallet deserves life in prison. Let's hope Chief Tony Logan and the Tuscumbia CID soon have the murderer in custody.


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