Dog Ear at War with Possum Trot

I guess it was bound to happen. Just when we thought Dog Ear was about to hit the big time with a new sewage to fertilizer plant, the whole thing's gone to Sheffield in a hand basket, as we say in these parts. Yep, maybe those high falutin' people in Limestone County didn't want that sewage plant, but we sure did here in Dog Ear. We never figured we'd get stabbed in the back by those slimy snakes from Possum Trot.

Possum Trot has always been just a mite envious of us over here in Dog Ear. We got the slaughter house and the Wrecked Harley Museum. Not too many towns around this part of Alabama can say that. The trouble is Possum Trot is just north of Cooter's Creek and Dog Ear is to the south. It seems the Surefire Sewage Company would save 38 cents each truck load by not havin' to cross the creek. And that ain't all.

Possum Trot's biggest business is the portable toilet rental store. We don't mean to be crude cuz we promised Miz Shoalanda we would watch it, but their motto is "Possum Trot Pots for when you got the trots." It seems PTP come up with the idea to run a pipeline from their, uh, storage bin to the new sewage plant. They get rid of what they don't want and Surefire Sewage gets free raw material. I hear they're even tryin' to get ol' Lane Roland down to run the pipeline.

Right now it could go either way but I'm thinkin' the whole tornado in a tequilla bottle has set back relations between Dog Ear and Possum Trot at least 50 years. I guess Cooter's Creek is deeper and wider than I ever figured.

But no matter who gets the sewage plant, I'll still stay in Dog Ear for all your septic tank and automotive needs.

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We hope Bubba's tale of woe is purely fictional. After all, no towns would actually behave this way...would they?



Shoalanda

Bubba Has a Request

“None of us can help the things life has done to us. They’re done before you realize it, and once they’re done they make you do other things until at last everything comes between you and what you’d like to be, and you’ve lost your true self forever.” ― Eugene O'Neill, Long Day's Journey Into Night 

Many consider the above to be one of the most profound quotes in literature. It sprang to mind due to various situations some very fine people have found themselves in this past week. Does this mean we're given a free pass to do as we see fit? Obviously not, but before anyone cries unfit, insult, assault, or whatever particular "crime" they wish to accuse someone of, we suggest they look within themselves and ask what they did to precipitate those actions.

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On the opposite side of the coin, we're constantly surprised at how many emails we receive defending a rapist/statutory rapist/hit-and-run driver/whatever. Those who communicate with us invariably state the offender isn't responsible because he/she was drunk. We have no doubt that most of those in these situations would not have committed the crime if they had not been under the influence of some mind altering drug, but they chose to drink/do drugs; they therefore must shoulder the blame for whatever crime they committed while under the influence.

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Now for some lighter fare, our good friend Bubba Leroy Smuckpucker II gets fan mail. In fact, we think it may have just slightly gone to his head. He's stated he would like a photo to accompany his future blogs, but doesn't have one...or a digital camera (apparently the Dollar General in Dog Ear doesn't sell those new-fangled things). We're asking readers to send us a picture of Bubba. The photo can be one you've taken or one you've found online that isn't copyrighted. Send your vision of Bubba to: shoalanda.speaks@gmail.com. We'll debut Bubba's new logo when he next makes an appearance.

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Shoalanda