Monday, September 4, 2017

It's That Time! Labor Day Beauty Contest 2017

Yes, later today there will be a new Miss Shoals Labor crowned. Let's look at this year's field of candidates...

1. Susie McFloosie - Susie represents the newest Shoals union, Quad-Cities Brewers Network. Insiders say platinum blonde Susie is a favorite if she can just manage to make it up the platform steps without tripping.

2. Cecile Trudeau - Cecile is representing local tourism. Detractors are calling the French speaking Trudeau a ringer and are demanding to see not only her union card, but social security card and passport as well.

3.  Betsy Harbert-Dunn - Busty Betsy is representing local construction unions. She's a long-shot since she was originally only visiting the area to pick up a finders-fee on the Veterans Park tennis courts, but was then stuck here when the deal fell through.

4. Mimsy Kitts-Shields - Petite Mimsy is representing post-secondary office workers. She's another long-shot, but known for a wicked left hook. Her claim to fame is never having been sexually assaulted on the job. 

5. Billy Overwood - Billy competed last year, but this blog inadvertently left him off the list. Instead of the traditional one-piece bathing costume, Billy will wear an Armani suit as he represents the Shoals Legal Union. 

There's the rundown, and if you're like us you can hardly wait to see who captures the sash and crown this year...or to grab your second helping of barbecue and beans. Here's hoping each of you, especially local union members, enjoys a fun and fulfilling Labor Day!

All of us at Shoalanda Speaks

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