October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Every year the Colbert County Domestic Violence Response Coalition holds a number of events to raise awareness and resources for families dealing with domestic violence. October 1st is the Annual Candlelight Vigil on the Colbert County Courthouse lawn from 6 to 7:30 pm. This event remembers the many people who lost their lives to domestic violence in the Shoals area. Bring a lawn chair or blanket.

 
October 14th is the Kickstands Up for Domestic Violence Awareness Poker Scramble. The ride starts and ends at Pavillion 4 in Spring Park, Tuscumbia. The cost is $20 per bike and $10 per poker hand. If it rolls, it rides. We ride, rain or shine. Kick stands up at 11 am. Kick stands down at 3:00 pm. A meal will be available at noon and a silent auction will take place until 4 pm.

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Hi, I'm Mitzi. I'm not sure what breed I am, but I'm an 18 month-old female looking for a home. How about it? Come see me at the Florence shelter on Roberson Road in the industrial park:

It's Okay to Beat Your Wife in Alabama

 

In case you're not up on Domestic Violence crimes, abuse in the third degree is a misdemeanor. Such cases are heard in either municipal or district court.

A recent study on Alabama misdemeanor cases turned up some interesting statistics, but perhaps none is more disturbing that this one: The cases most likely to be thrown out? Domestic Violence. In fact, the most current statistics show that 60.2% of these charges are dismissed by judges. Why?

Certainly, in many cases, a couple will reconcile. In other words, the wife/partner doesn't want her Boo to go to jail so she refuses to testify. Sad, isn't it?

In other cases? Surely a male judge doesn't identify with a husband who took a slug at his wife? It's something to think about...

Listen Up, Ladies; He's a Jerk...or Even Worse

At this moment, there's a young woman from this area whose body is lying in a morgue or funeral home. She had family who loved her. We're pretty sure she didn't want to die. So why did she?

Some women think they can change a man. News flash: Only the man can change himself and he has to want to.

Some women think they're nothing without a man. News flash: You have worth, young ladies. You have a brain. You have a tender heart. You have common sense. Don't let ANYONE tell you that you don't have self worth. You're growing every year that you live, and only God knows how far you can go or what you can accomplish. 

Some women need a man for drugs. There's no news flash here. Just please get some help if you're an addict. Look at yourself. What are you doing with this drug dealer? Why are you helping him? Do you want to go to jail? Do you want to wind up on an autopsy table? 

As to the young woman who was found in a trash dump, it's true that she may not have been murdered, but you can bet the compost heap that she didn't go there to die from natural causes. There's a man sitting in a local jail who is rumored to have been involved with this woman's death. If he is, then let's prosecute him.

Finally a word to mothers and fathers. Your daughter may seem mature, but a little advice from time to time never hurt. Make sure she knows if you have concerns about her latest boyfriend. Make sure she knows that she can always come home to you if she needs to. 

After all, taking in an adult daughter or sister is just a little better than visiting her in the funeral home, now isn't it?

Trump Makes Unannounced Visit/Domestic Abuse

Trump makes unannounced visit

By: The Midnight Rider

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump made an unannounced visit Wednesday to Dover Air Force Base for the return of the remains of the US service member killed in the raid in Yemen.

Trump went to Dover AFB on Marine One, along with his daughter, Ivanka, and Sen. Chris Coons of Delaware.

Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens, a Navy SEAL, died of wounds suffered during a raid Sunday in Yemen against al Qaeda, according to US Central Command.

First of all let me say that I don’t care if you are White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Democrat or Republican, It takes a real American to do what Trump did. It doesn’t matter if you voted for Trump or not, you have to respect what he did. There is a lot of Protest going on about his tenure as President. The thing about it is, you can Protest all you want, and he is still the President.

For him to go to the retrieval of Remains for a fallen Service Member, to me that shows character. When was the last time you saw a President do that? It is a published fact that Trump has contacted several families of Fallen police Officer just to talk to him. Trump supports Law Enforcement as well as our Service Members. That is the way it should be.

First Responders as well as our Military Members sometimes give the Ultimate Sacrifice to keep us safe or free. The Ultimate Sacrifice is their lives. Their families have lost someone that will never return in exchange for our Freedom and we should be thankful for that. Covering your faces, looting, protesting, breaking windows, that is not how you get your point across. That will get you an “ass whoopin”’ when the Police gets there.

Will everyone agree with what Trump does? No. But for a Commander-in-Chief and his Daughter to make a secret trip to Salute a Fallen Soldier with the family, that shows me Class. Class that maybe some other leaders of Countries should take notice of. Our Service Member deserves this type of Respect.

I am and always will be, the Midnight Rider.

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There was another act of domestic violence last night. While one woman was shot, at least no one died. We’re not sure if you count the man killed by his brother-in-law a victim of domestic violence or not, but if you do, that makes four serious incidents in the past two weeks. By serious, we mean shot or stabbed, resulting in three dead and two hospitalized. Why?

In two of the incidents, alcohol played a large role. In another, it was depression. In the third, drugs may have contributed to the act of violence.

This past year, we’ve often thought that Huntsville was becoming a second Birmingham. Now, we’re pretty sure the Shoals isn’t far from Huntsville in the percentage of domestic violence/drug crimes. Is there a fix?

We’ll close with the story of the second drink. Three famous actors had lunch at a restaurant near their studio. With lunch, the actors had a cocktail. At the end of the meal, the waiter asked the trio if they wanted a second drink. Two replied yes; one no.

Of the two who replied in the affirmative, one lost his career and wound up in rehab; the second died after a fall, too inebriated to know he was bleeding out.

The third who refused a second drink? He became president of the United States.

Domestic Violence on the UNA Campus?/Kudos to Campus Police

How common is domestic violence at the University of North Alabama? While it’s not an everyday occurrence, it’s certainly not rare. This was posted earlier today on the Shoals Insider:

UNA Arrest

While details are scant, the perp was reportedly armed and drove from Colbert County with a specific purpose in mind. Whether it was to talk to his estranged other half or something more sinister has yet to be reported.

PNS followed up with this article:

UNA Stalker Id'd

It’s only been a few weeks since this incident took place on the UNA campus:

Taylor Perkins Arrested

Again, UNA police came to the rescue—something local citizens should be extremely grateful for. Until authorities become mind readers, efficient police work is the best answer to the violence these abusers bring to the campus and community. 

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Ryan Kent Pollard, termed a serial abuser by local media, is in jail again; this time without bail. It seems some have speculated his most recent arrest involves his latest girlfriend, a resident of Russellville. This may be true since we’re told she’s abandoned Facebook, at least for the time being. 

Ryan Kent Pollard Held Without Bail

However, what did she expect? We want to make it clear just being dumb and/or desperate is not an invitation to violence, but it’s certainly not a shield either. A reader has told us, in the for what it’s worth department, the couple was into BDSM and that Pollard’s arrest involves drugs, not abuse. Whatever the case, society is always the winner when abusers are taken off the streets.

Any other young ladies want to date a four time abuser? Or would that now be five time abuser? Whichever, we’re pretty sure he’ll be on the market when he gets out.

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What to Expect When You're Arrested for Domestic Violence

Below is a list of what a person arrested on domestic violence charges may expect. You should note that most of these also apply to anyone arrested for any crime:

* You'll be held a certain number of hours, usually 12, even if you can make bail immediately.

* Your mugshot will be in Hard Times, perhaps even on the front page where your friends can easily see it when they check out at the corner mini-mart.

* Your mugshot will be online in the Quad-Cities Daily--free for anyone with Internet access to view

* Ditto the last comment, but change the site name to the Shoals Insider.

* If the domestic violence is considered a felony or if you have quite a rap sheet already, you'll rate an article in Pen-N-Sword.

* Ditto the above with your name in the TimesDaily.

* Depending upon where you work, you  may even rate an article in the Flor-Ala.

* No sympathy from anyone outside your family and a few misguided friends.

The above list of ramifications of domestic violence doesn't include legal fees and lost time from work. You may even lose your job, assuming you have one.

And if you really want to push how your umpteen arrests are all a mistake, you may even rate your own blog  post on this site.

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Domestic violence was not our originally intended topic for today, but a reader inadvertently suggested it to us when she took up for a man with domestic violence charges (big surprise) and a rap sheet that reaches to the coast and back. This offender remains in the detention center as of tonight, as he has been for the past five days. We infer, traffic ticket no show or not, the judge is not happy with the perp's actions.

We'll add in the interest of fairness that we've had many complaints over the years about the inaccessibility of Florence Municipal Court when seeking to change a court date. We're sure this is true, but an individual already in the system with a domestic violence charge should already have an attorney who can handle a change in appearance dates for any other extraneous matters the alleged abuser faces in either circuit or municipal court.

In other words, if you're on probation or other legal programs, you're not the brightest tiki torch on the patio if you simply blow off a court appearance.

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Just a reminder: Each day we plan to link one article from the Shoals Insider and Pen-N-Sword on our Facebook page. If you have comments, please contact the original publication.

Why Do They Stay?

From a friend who chooses to remain anonymous:


One of the first things people always ask after incidents (Chris Balentine) like this is 'Why do they stay?' Here is how my friend explained it to me:

* There seems to be a special 'knack' that spousal abusers have for choosing their victims. Abusers are ALMOST ALWAYS the victims of abuse at some point earlier in their lives. Their victims share a similar past, usually having grown up in households where abuse was present and portrayed as 'normal'. Perhaps the abuser is able to pick up on this 'similarity' and pursues such a victim with the ultimate goal being that of having TOTAL CONTROL over their victim's life. Unwitting witnesses to family abuse have a DEEP NEED to be safe and have someone to trust. 

* The abuser usually begins the relationship as a 'Prince Charming'. His co-workers, friends and the general public always say 'What a great guy he is.' This is all a carefully choreographed charade.

* Not long after the abuser 'sets the hook' in his victim, things will take an ugly turn. The victim will slowly be 'cut off' from family and friends. What contact IS allowed will be minimal and closely supervised. The victim's cell phone, if any, will be scrutinized daily for curious numbers and texts.
^ When the abuse begins, and IT WILL begin, it will be 'something little' that 'sets the abuser off'. like '...not having dinner waiting when he gets home, or cooking the 'wrong' thing for supper, or a change in a hairdo, or......' See how CRAZY abusers are??? The victim, still thinking she has found her 'Prince Charming', won't see 'it' coming. It will usually begin as verbal abuse. The victim will be called 'stupid', 'worthless', and a host of other vile names unfit to print. But it WILL happen.

* Like the first verbal assault, the victim won't see the first physical assault coming, due to the abuser wanting to keep his victim 'off guard', plus the FACT that most spousal abusers are COWARDS. Par for the course for spousal abusers, the abuser will claim that the physical abuse is the VICTIM's fault. This scenario will play itself out often enough in the future that the victim will eventually begin to wonder if the abuse REALLY IS their fault.

* These cycle of events will continue, often with the victim 'pushing the abuser's buttons' until he snaps. This is in the false belief that, after an altercation, after some 'steam is let off', a 'momentary peace' can be had. This is a very risky 'game' that victims choose to play at this point. There are NO GUARANTEES that past incidents can be used as predictors for how future incidents will play out.

* By this time the abuser has often convinced the victim that 'no one will believe them', 'that they are a totally worthless individual', and that they will 'be killed', or their loved ones will be, if they seek outside help.

These are THE MAIN REASONS that so many acts of domestic violence go unreported. It was a combination of ALL of these reasons, and a few not mentioned, that convinced my friend NOT to leave an abusive relationship for over 20 years. My friend worked IN the court system and HAD ACCESS to IMMEDIATE help, but didn't seek it until it was almost too late.

She's one of the VERY lucky ones. She took a HUGE risk and confided in a friend. She got out.

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Some thoughts from Shoalanda:

* We're not sure why the FB page we linked two days ago is down. Perhaps it was taken down by FB due to the threats and language from Muscle Shoals football players. We saw where one called a woman who posted a "low down f**king b***h." Nice, huh?

* We believe in giving credit where due. Muscle Shoals schools have the highest scholastic scores in the area. Props to them! Yet, the students who posted, apparently all football players, could barely compose a complete sentence. What's up with this?

* Several have asked how Chris Balentine can continue to coach with a domestic violence conviction? Easily--he is scheduled to complete anger management and alcohol abuse programs; when he does, he will have no record even though he pleaded guilty.

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Shoalanda

The Cafe' Story with Names Removed

If you haven't seen it, you've probably heard about it. It's making the rounds, and several readers have asked us about it. We're going to publish it here with all names removed. If it's true, the owner of the local eatery is in mucho trouble. If it isn't true, the employee should be in similar hot water. The story:
 
So I would just like to bring something to everyone in the Shoals areas attention. This is one of my dear friends. She worked for XXXXX for almost 5 years. She was dating a guy and their relationship became toxic. When this photo was taken it was the last straw for her and he moved out. She contacted police to file the report and went on to pursue a PFA. She wasn't sure how it would work out considering she worked with this abusive guy. When she contacted her boss he told her verbatim "If you get a PFA on one of my best workers your job will be the one that suffers the consequences." 

She couldn't fathom loosing the job she had for years and had grown to love. She put the PFA on hold and tried to deal with working with this monster. The owner XXXXX told her that if anyone asked about her black eye she was to not talk about or tell anyone what happened. He also told her to not even look at the guy when they worked in the same building or she would lose her job. In having to work him he would harass her and was able to say whatever he wanted to and suffer no consequences for his actions. He had posted a status on his FB page degrading my friend and talking as badly about someone as possible. She was tired and wore out from day to day being put down. 

She then decided to post a status of her own with this picture in it. That same day this past week she was called in early to work. When she arrived she was fired. When asked why the owner XXXX explained because he had told her to not talk about it and she went against him and did it anyways. My personal opinion on this is that is happened out of work and I'm trying to figure out where he feels this is any of his business. The owner said to my friend that she was just 'crazy' because he had heard about all of her and the abusive ones arguments and I guess he just decided that siding with the abusive one was a good idea because its his 'best' employee. 

My friend felt this needed to be known and I was more than happy to help get this out there. I know someone who currently works there who personally feels a higher level of negativity against domestic violence than even I do. So feel free to share and please get the word out. She loved her job so much she didn't let herself be a victim and worked with her abuser every day to save it. That says more than anything. Being a victim of domestic violence is bad enough without losing your job and here's to never eating at XXXXX! Will never spend another penny in a restaurant owned by a man that supports domestic violence!!!



Shoalanda

New Live Comedy Show: Our State Senate

That's right, our state senate will be offering streaming video to those of us who can't make it to every day of its regular sessions, special sessions, or not-so-special sessions:

Alabama Senate Chamber Video

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Need a job in the Shoals? A local employment agency offers the following suggestions:

Kohl's, Pizza Hut, Terminex, J.C.Penney, Sears, Davita, AT&T, Sonic Drive-In, Murphy USA, Jo-Ann Fabrics, RGIS, Burger King, and K-Mart

Okay, that's a start...as in jobs for those just out of high school or those looking for part-time extra work. What about those degreed individuals who have humongous college loans, a family to support, and wish to remain in the Shoals? Sorry, folks. Our source says "good luck with that."

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Want to read more on what diseases are exacerbated by domestic violence? We had a reader ask for more info on the study we mentioned in yesterday's blog. We mistakenly attributed the article to Dr. R. Horan Jones. The study was published by Drs. R.F. Jones III & D. L. Horan. It can be found at this site: Link

Most public libraries subscribe to medical and legal databases, as do college libraries. You can read scholarly publications at these locations without cost.

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Since the discovery of a supposedly human skull near the Colbert/Franklin County line, there has been much speculation concerning its origin. Tomorrow we'll publish an "eye witness account" of a Franklin County death that is still officially unsolved.



Shoalanda