Special Report: Justin Matthew Green to Become Father Again

Remember that advocate for Justin Matthew Green who was "just a friend?" Well, she's announced she's knocked up. Wonderful! Of course, he doesn't love her enough to marry her... Maybe when he gets out of work release, or should we say community corrections? Who the heck knows what Lauderdale County will do with him for the next 12 months?

For all who might need a little reminder of the laws of the universe:

Al Wilson The Snake Lyrics:

On her way to work one mornin',
Down a path alongside the lake,
A tender-hearted woman,
Saw a poor half-frozen snake.
His pretty colored skin
Had been all frosted with the dew,
"Poor thing," she cried, "I'll take you in,"
"And I'll take care of you."
"Take me in, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

She wrapped him up all cozy,
In a comforter of silk.
And laid him by the fireside
With some honey and some milk.
Well she hurried home from work that night
And soon as she arrived,
She found that pretty snake
She'd taken in had been revived.
"Take me in, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

Now, she clutched him to her bosom,
"You're so beautiful," she cried.
"But if I hadn't brought you in,
By now you might have died."
Now she stroked his pretty skin again,
And then kissed and held him tight.
Instead of saying, "Thanks,"
That snake gave her a vicious bite.
"Take me in, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

"But, I saved you," cried that woman,
"And you've bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous,
And now I'm gonna die."
"Aw, shut up, silly woman,"
Said that reptile, with a grin.
"You knew damn well I was a snake,
Before you brought me in."
"Please, take me in, oh, tender woman,
Take me in, for heaven's sake,
Take me in, tender woman,"
Sighed the snake.

• Music

  • "The Snake" by Al Wilson (Google Play • iTunes • AmazonMP3)
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Racism/Confidentiality/Sex Abuse

So Hillary Clinton and Jesse Jackson and who knows who else are upset that the State of Alabama is closing some of its underused Driver License offices? It doesn't matter that anyone needing a picture ID to vote (or for anything else) can get one free at the county courthouse. Why muddle a good rant with facts?

When Shoalanda was in college about 90 years ago, one professor who hailed from the wilds of the great prairie states would often regale students with how far one had to travel to reach the county seat in her home state. This prof also fervently lobbied for Alabama and other fairly populous states to combine counties in order to save money. The rationale being that 30 miles to the courthouse might be a lot in a wagon, but 50 or 60 miles in a motorized vehicle was a mere Sunday drive.

We think she failed to take into consideration the level of laziness of modern man; just imagine how that need for immediate gratification has grown with the advent of the Internet. We want it now, but of course we don't want to pay for it.

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So the Secret Service uses national security data for its own amusement? So do some local police we hear. How about local employers? Send us any horror stories you may have.

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Oliver Brazelle has begun a two-year prison sentence. Is is enough? A reader just sent us some interesting thoughts on judging. We all judge or attempt to. We aren't privy to Brazelle's health status, but we imagine he will be sent to the Hamilton facility for the aged and infirm. We usually read what a “piece of cake” that is. Really?

We're of mixed feelings about Brazelle, but our sympathies lie with his victims. They have a lifetime sentence to deal with what he did to them.

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Shoalanda

School Zones. Which Comes First: Safety or Convenience?

I couldn't help but notice that the City of Sheffield has erected a 'Speed Bump' sign in front of Sheffield High School. I heartily applaud this decision and eagerly await the installation of the 'speed bump'. What I'm trying to figure out, though, is why such consideration has not apparently been given to L. E. Willson School?

Parents dropping off and picking up their children at L. E. Willson school are constantly faced with the very real threat of drivers speeding into and out of the school zone (31st St), apparently completely oblivious to the threat that their 2,000 pound plus vehicle poses to anyone in their path. For some unknown reason, there appears to be reluctance on the part of city council and school board members to properly address the very real threat these speeding cars pose to students, staff and faculty alike at L. E. Willson School.

Perhaps someone with either entity would be so kind as to enlighten us?

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A whole lot 'more' goes on in Lauderdale County's Community Corrections than the general public would be pleased to hear about. A thorough state investigation into the program's practices and abuses is PAST due.


J. Redmon

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Shoalanda

What You May Not Know About Community Corrections

Think community corrections is all about a work release center where these incarcerated men (there's no women's center) return each night? Think again.

From their website:

Community corrections may be imposed as part of a sanction, including,but not limited to confinement, work release, day reporting, home detention, restitution programs, community service, education and intervention programs, and substance abuse programs.

We certainly understand that with Alabama prisons in their current state, community corrections is the way to go for many non-violent offenders. What we didn't realize is than many sentenced to as much as nine years in prison may be turned loose with only an ankle monitor and a weekly visit to what amounts to a probation officer.

An anonymous source with the local corrections program contacted us last week concerning Andrew Daniel Scott, currently serving a nine-year sentence for multiple property crimes. In May, Scott failed a drug test (oxycodone) and was allowed to go to what was at least his third drug rehab program. His previous six-month program was in-house and paid for by the taxpayers—you and me. Who paid for his stint at Mission of Mercy we have no idea.
After the four-month program, Scott was then called back to court in September on his current four charges, and his attorney then argued he should be released with only an ankle monitor. Judge Gil Self refused this highly dubious request, and Scott is now residing in the community corrections facility associated with the county detention center.

The moral? When you look up an inmate on the state department of corrections site, don't automatically assume that “community corrections” means this inmate is under lock and key at least part of the day. If you're a victim, make a point to find out exactly where the miscreant is. In some cases, your safety and well-being could be at stake.

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Shoalanda

New Tourism Board Members?

So Alex Nelson isn't sure if he'll seek a second term. As he said, he's already accomplished so much. Yep. He may even rate his own show on the comedy channel...or the soap opera channel.

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We notice the TD article on Rob Carnegie's contract didn't mention his bonus clause. Was it not ever formalized, or is the public not to be privy to what it is that would be worth so much money could the
would-be Nelson Eddy accomplish it?

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We've had some questions about Lauderdale Community Corrections. Look for some answers next week—they may surprise you.

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Shoalanda

Coach Becky Wingo Should Exit with Anthony Olivis

From a reader: 

Is it just something in the water lately that is causing such time-consuming and crazy law-suits? Does anyone really believe that not having your picture in a yearbook is so important? Are future employers going to say: WE CAN'T HIRE HIM OR BECAUSE THEY AREN'T IN A PICTURE? Another thing; I understand from the article is that girls in question were not a part of 2015 team! Maybe they think some athletic human resources officer is going to notice this? More likely this "MAMA" wanting the money and seeing a chance to get it. Can you imagine that?

First, our opinion of the lawsuit against Colbert County Coach Becky Wingo: Really? Life is full of such people as Witchygo; it's much better to bite one's tongue and suck it up until she's no longer a
player in one's life.

Apparently one of three girls who were cut from the softball team did just that. Two decided to sue. That is their prerogative. We assume the family of the one who is not a party to the suit had some common sense.

That being said, why is an adult role-model behaving in such a fashion? Witchygo's way or the highway?

We suggest everyone who has had problems with ol' Witchygo memorialize them in some journal form to later present the board when they will no be in danger of the witch's vindictive actions.

Who is Becky Wingo? From the school's website:

Hello! I am Becky Wingo and I am 31 years old. I have been teaching for 7 years. I spent 1 year at Cherokee Middle School before I moved to Colbert County High School. I teach girls physical education and also coach volleyball, jr. high basketball, and softball. Although was born at Helen Keller Hospital, I lived in Iuka, MS for 11 years. When I was 12 we moved to Tuscumbia, AL and that is where I have been ever since.

I attended Northside Middle School, now Deshler Middle School and I went to high school at Deshler. While at Deshler, I was a member of the marching band for 4 years. In the band I played the trumpet, which I really enjoyed. I also was the point guard on the basketball team, short-stop on the softball team, and was a defensive specialist on the volleyball team.

We see Witchygo also teaches P.E. Great...we're sure these two girls are in for some real fun this year.

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Shoalanda

The Real Skinny on DreamVision?

Count us among the many who have no idea why the dreamers at DreamVision keep on keepin' on; however, others have some ideas. Our blog team member L. Stone at first thought the company might have been seeking TVA land, but now has found another premise for the dreamy team from Ft. Worth to pursue this pipe dream.

How about some really big Chinese money? It would seem that money just by itself won't help these Chinese businessmen enter our country, but money placed in mega-investments will.

Well, we all know how well that worked out for UNA and its College of Integrative Health Quackery.

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Congrats to Bobby Wallace! UNA found a jewel in him not once, but twice. Good luck to the team with a perfect record, albeit still early in the season. We're keeping our fingers crossed for this weekend.

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Shoalanda