Today's Funny: Did the KKK Just Threaten the Shoalanda Speaks Blog?

In the bustle of the holiday season, it's easy to become stressed. We all need a touch of humor at this time of year. We here at Shoalanda Speaks got ours today in the form of a reply to our blog on the mother of the dead Hartline children. We're not sure if it's a joke or not, but it is terribly amusing. 

If the man whose name is used in this comment did not write it, we will happily take it down. If he did...

First, slander is verbal. Perhaps he meant libel? So, let's see...

Emily Hartline hasn't had multiple drug arrests?

Emily Hartline didn't lose her children to the state because she was a meth-head?

Emily Hartline couldn't get her act together in three and one-half years to reclaim her children? (Remember, in that same three and one-half years, she had more arrests, a divorce, and a marriage...but no time to work for custody of her two little ones?)

Emily Hartline isn't trying now to make money from her dead children?

So, big bad KKK guy, where's the libel?

Does anyone really care that Nicholas and Haven Hartline are dead? Is there anyone related to these children that isn't thinking solely about themselves? 

Think This Is The Red Bay Chapter?

Alabama Legislators Have Failed to Protect the Weakest Among Us

Why is this poor pup dead?

The Alabama Legislature failed him.

City government failed him.

ALFA murdered him.

This is not Southeast Asia; this is Albertville, Alabama, this year, but it could just as easily have been Killen or Rogersville or several other small towns where residents don't mind killing children on ATVS, much less choking and freezing small animals.

Now, will you protest ALFA and demand that the state's animal cruelty laws be revamped?

Tuscumbia Group Heckles Roy Moore

Anyone go see Roy Moore Saturday at the Tuscumbia public library? He was among a group of Republican candidates who spoke at a regular meeting of the Shoals Republican Club, but he didn't draw the exact crowd he had hoped for.

An unnamed protest group shouted outside the library as Moore spoke. Those we've spoken with who attended the function said the group was quite irritating and effective. One person told us the protesters also had a mole in the Republican Club who helped orchestrate the protest. 

No word on whether or not Sassy attended...

Most pundits predict a runoff between Jeff Sessions and Tommy Tuberville. Unless something changes dramatically, we're going with Jeffy boy to win the Republican nomination. 

It was nice for Doug while it lasted.

Connie Ridgeway Murder

The recent publicity surrounding Rogersville police may have one positive outcome. Someone submitted the murder case of Connie Ridgeway to the blog Alabama Cold Cases. At this point, the case is extremely cold and may never be solved. 

However, if you have any information concerning the death of Mrs. Ridgeway and hesitate to contact local authorities, we urge you to contact ALEA. This lady's family needs closure.

After we published ZAR's blog yesterday, we received some comments that could very well be taken as threats against either him or any of us who regularly blog here. If you disagree with ZAR or anyone who posts here, please feel free to contact us with your rebuttals. We do not allow libel or threats, but we certainly allow you to disagree. Your guest blog will be published within a few days of receipt.

No, we don't know if ZAR actually lives in Anderson or if that is part of his online humorous persona. Wherever he lives, he's entitled to his opinions, just as you are entitled to yours...except the ones about meeting someone in a dark alley.

Roundabout in Rogersville

So no officers are being investigated in Rogersville? That is good to hear. Surely no one was hoping it was true? 

The more that I have thought about the school sex scandal the more I realize that I am just imagining a porno movie in my head.

This made me stop for a moment and think to myself, who is the pervert now...?

 

I have always said that the S.S. Blog is great! It offers a much needed service to all members of the Shoals area. The Pen and Sword, on the other hand, needs to drink more Limu! 

Like I have always told you Ms. S, When the mess hits the fan it goes everywhere.

The only details that I really needed to hear was that no child was a witness to any of the goings on, that those who have no self control are dismissed, and that no officer went all Chuck Norris up on someone's face. Even if that person was on top of his wife, and I don't even know if he was?

Should Superintendent Hatton have at least said something? Yes, he should have. But really what could he have said? What do people want Ronnie Owens to say? Give a play by play? 

When an employee quits a job they do not owe an explanation as to the reason why. If you don't believe me ask that former cook at the Fish Creel.

I don't even know if a state employee can be fired without first doing an investigation? It is not like the school board could force the former teachers to not resign, sparing themselves and their families humiliation.

Calling it a sex club was a bit of a stretch.  A Sex Ring was more accurate to this situation, in a round about way.

But that too is nothing new. Every church staff in Lauderdale County has had a sex ring at one time or another.

Speaking of roundabout ways. How many roundabouts do they now have in Florence? Just in time for last minute holiday shopping they have one at the Mall.

I wrecked my car going through it on my way to buy extra Facebook minutes just to send you this message.

Keep up the good work Ms. S. and if I don't see you before Santa is at your door, Merry Christmas!

Your good bud,

 ZAR

Advanced Driver's License Required to Navigate?

LCBOE, You Can't Have It Both Ways

We've been fortunate to receive new blogs from both the Lauderdale Luminary and ZAR. Today, we'll present the Luminary's view of the Lauderdale School Board; tomorrow, we'll publish ZAR's most recent take on current events.

We want to stress that we'll be happy to publish any blogs defending the school board and its recent actions. Unfortunately, we've not received any...

I find it very interesting that members of the Lauderdale County Board of Education would complain to the TimesDaily that "social media is an enemy to credible information" regarding the recent flurry of staff resignations, several of which are said to be related to the on-campus sexual activities of a group at Lauderdale County High School. It seems terribly disingenuous of the board members to complain in this way. Being the politically astute individuals that they are, they must realize that their own evasion and obfuscation of the facts surrounding this matter merely fuel the rumor and speculation that naturally occurs independently of the existence of social media platforms. Social media merely amplifies the effect. Surely the highly educated moral exemplars who sit on this Board know this to be true. So what is their angle? What do they expect to gain by attenuating the truth? Whatever their strategy here, I do not believe that it will redound to their political benefit in the long run.


One thing is certain, even to the most casual of observers. When it comes to whether an errant employee will be coerced to tender a resignation to this Board, it depends upon who the employee is related to and who the employee knows. The Board cannot show that it has ever consistently followed any objective criteria for employee discipline or dismissal. Incestuous nepotism and cronyism are systemic attributes in all governmental agencies in Lauderdale County, and most especially on the Board of Education.


"Those who live by the sword, shall die by the sword". The pompous pedantic pontificators on this Board would do well to embrace the multi-faceted meaning of this proverb derived from the Gospel of Matthew, as would all such two-faced dissembling politicians.


Humbly submitted for your considerations by,

UNA: Where Death is Only Relative?

We know of at least one reader who collects typos and odd sayings from the TimesDaily. You know the headlines: "Sex Clams" or "Woman Beaten Against Her Will."

A story on UNA and the problems it faces with Mylar and other plastic debris contains this gem:

We're guessing this UNA biology prof who has discovered short term death will be up for a Nobel Prize in science. 

Meanwhile in Rogersville: Friday is the last day to apply for the three openings at the police department - a chief, an officer, and a custodian. Are some of these positions already filled?

We know of a custodian who need a job. She has a lot of experience in several areas.

It's actually the other two listings that are intriguing. The openings are due to the retirement of both chief and assistant chief. Yet the positions are described as chief and officer. Is a current officer a shoe-in to fill the assistant chief's job? It does seem likely.

We're sure the entire town is agog with excitement over the job search...