Rusty Pipe Announces Bid for Mayor of Muscle Shoals

Rusty Pipe, longtime employee of the Muscle Shoals School System, has announced his candidacy for mayor. Pipe's press release states he wants to clean up the city plagued in the past with turtle killers, corrupt coaches, and original gangsters.

When asked what distinguishes him from other candidates, Mr. Pipe cited his years of service to the school system followed by a forced semi-retirement. He also stated that, like Bob Hill, he knows where the bodies are buried. 

Ala Joe Biden, Pipe then launched into a rambling tale of a council election from a generation ago in which he assisted a sitting member in incapacitating an opponent. The newly announced candidate quickly went on to say that his participation was purely involuntary. 

Pipe ended his press conference by reaffirming his support of Rep. Andrew Sorrell and strongly chastising the representative's critics within the system. Welcome to the world of politics, Mr. Pipe, where some are perverted enough to take a swipe at mothers, Santa Claus, and apple pie.

Shoalanda Was Wrong! It Was 80%!

A political pundit based in Muscle Shoals had said the tax vote would be 80% against. We had felt it would be 70-30 against. Final vote? 81% no!

The fact that the yes side didn't win was through no fault of their own. One beleaguered teacher sent us this:

Click to Enlarge

Since the polls didn't close until 7:00, we're at a loss as to why the school system would feel the need to give any time off. Hmmm. Desperation at its worst?

*****

Will Rusty now go into retirement? We caught up with him just after the official vote came in:

"Retire? No way. I'm on a roll for accountability. Have red tie, will fight for the right!"

They Knew Aretha Well

Donald Trump: I knew Aretha well. She worked for me a few times.

Brian Lindsey: I knew Aretha well. She supported the new property tax.

Chester McKinney: I knew Aretha well. She was going to do a benefit for the new half-way house.

As they say, it's not a lie if you really believe it.

*****

Rusty's fans have been sending him red ties. He's even taken a few snaps wearing some of them. He may even decide to have a public vote on which he'll don for his August 27th appearance as Chad and Brian wave "Vote Yes" placards at Avalon rush hour traffic...

*****

Since everyone is talking of music today, have you considered this is the 41st anniversary of Elvis' death? Should there be lamentations or rejoicings over musical genius?

Like something more classical than Aretha? Here's a sad but beautiful Irving Berlin song:

And Another: