Of Pastafarians and Colbert County District Judges

With slightly over three months until the primary election, the gloves are beginning to come off for some candidates and their supporters. Actually, one Colbert County District Judge candidate apparently never donned any gloves to doff at the appropriate minute.

Our question today is "Can a Pastafarian be a good Colbert County District Judge?" If you don't know what a Pastafarian is, that's why we have Google. Can he or she be a competent judge? Absolutely. That does not mean that we would vote for such a person, but we have the sensibilities to know that even Pastafarians have the mental capabilities to execute the office of District Judge in Alabama.

We have not officially endorsed any candidate in the Colbert County race (or the race for District Judge in Lauderdale where the campaign remains as quiet as a courthouse cordless mouse); however, we have been seriously surprised by some recent comments concerning Democratic hopeful Chad Coker. Coker is, don't faint, not originally from Colbert County. Wait...it's not over...it seems that Coker may have blue blood. With the exception of the stray Vulcan strolling Montgomery Avenue, we were under the impression that all Colbert Countians had blood of various hues of red--even the Auburn fans.

Those who choose to debate the Colbert County District Judge's race on such trivial and misguided excuses for issues do nothing but reinforce outsiders' opinions of us in haystack-filled Alabama. Yes, a native of Lamar County is just as qualified to serve as Colbert County District Judge as anyone born at Helen Keller Hospital.

Second, those who condemn Judge Carpenter for privately endorsing a certain candidate should remember that if he can be banned from such speech, then Shoalanda can be forced to remain quiet on the subject. If Shoalanda can be muzzled on political endorsements, then so can you, gentle reader. It's a slippery slope.

You may choose to vote for Chad Coker, Lamar County native, or not to vote for him, but please do so on other issues than the location of his nativity. That being said, District Judges cannot sentence anyone to death, stop abortion, or enforce nuclear weapon bans. Bone up on the office and the candidates. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; let's all live dangerously.


Remembrances: If you have any anecdotes concerning Bill Allgood, sometimes known as Harvey or Cliffy, please send them to us. We will be dedicating a column to this cyberspace icon in the near future.

Shoalanda

Chad B. Coker - On Inside Track for Colbert District Judge?

Is Tuscumbia attorney Chad B. Coker destined to become the next Colbert County District Judge? Many think so, partially due to his association with current judge George Carpenter. Carpenter's son Andrew was law partner to Coker at the time of his death, and the elder Carpenter and Coker have remained close friends.

Like Polly Ruggles, Coker currently toils as a municipal judge. Officiating at both Russellville and Cherokee Municipal Courts, Coker also is prominent among Colbert County divorce attorneys and volunteers in the C.A.S.A. program. A graduate of the University of Alabama at Tuscaloosa, Coker is president of the Colbert County Alumni Association.

Many use municipal judgeships to boost their chances for county offices, but Coker may have lessened his via association with the small town of Cherokee. For many years Tuscumbia attorney Ben Gardner served as city judge for that rural Colbert town, only to be terminated by Mayor Mignon Willis, a friend of Coker who chose him to replace the popular Gardner.

We look forward to hearing Chad Coker's vision for Colbert County when he speaks at the Shoals Democratic Club Monday night.


What's up with this: Lauderdale County teacher Allen Wilson avoided an assault conviction Friday. Apparently it's all right for one teacher to strike another on school premises--just not so all right for a parent to do it.

Why is Colbert District Judge George Carpenter Retiring?

With almost 11 months left to qualify in the Colbert County District Judge race, the list of announced candidates is rapidly growing. With this much interest in the office, several of our readers have asked why current District Judge George E. Carpenter is retiring.

There's probably no one answer to that question, but the accidental death of his son, Tuscumbia attorney Andrew Carpenter (pictured), two years ago is certainly a factor. Further, Carpenter will almost assuredly return to private practice to boost his retirement income. The salary for retired District Judges in Alabama is slightly less than for their counterparts in Circuit Court; it's calculated at the somewhat convoluted formula:

90% x 75% x Circuit Court Judge Salary at Date of Retirement x Years of Judicial Service ÷ Years Required at Retirement Age.

Democratic candidates who hope to succeed Judge Carpenter will be speaking at 6:30 p.m. on June 15th at the Steelworkers' Union Hall on Wilson Dam Road in Muscle Shoals. Since there is high probability a Democratic candidate will win the judgeship, everyone who is able is urged to attend this public function.


Tomorrow: Who is Chad Coker?