Bureaucracy--You Gotta Love It!

Is There Any Intelligence Left in Government?

J.J. Ray

Recently I had to make a trip to the Alabama State Troopers office to get my drivers license renewed. The wait was only an hour, which for them was almost instantaneous. I sat down in front of a nice looking woman who directed me to the eye test machine. She tested both eyes and proclaimed I had twenty-fifteen vision in both eyes. Then the fun began. She asked where my glasses where? I explained that I had eye surgery and no longer had to wear prescription eye wear. Then I asked her about the eye test and my passing.

She explained even though my vision was better than most that I could not get a new license until I had some eyeglasses. I then explained my cataract surgery and how they fixed my eyes. The examiner listened attentively to my story and said, “Take the lenses out so I can verify that you have them in”. I was shocked. “Ma’am I just told you how they did surgery on my eyes and showed you my cards, the lenses do no come out”.

Her retort was, “If I can’t see them you can’t drive without your glasses”.

I felt like I was listening to a Yogi Berra commercial. Once again, I tried to reason with her explaining that I had passed the eye test and there was no reason to wear glasses. She was very rigid and explained if I drove without my glasses, I would be ticketed even though I no longer needed them. I had to call my son to come and drive me home.

Sounds like the end of the story but it gets worse. Arriving home, I called the State Troopers office in Montgomery. After being placed on hold for forty-five minutes this authoritative woman answered my call. Once again, I related my experience. After a brief pause where I was once again put on hold so she could check with a superior, I was told that no new license was forthcoming unless I could produce my eyeglasses and pass the eye test. Once again, I explained that I had passed the eye test without my glasses and that my vision was twenty-fifteen. That did not matter, my old license was restricted to prescription eye wear and that was that. My wife hearing this conversation suggested calling the governors office to ask where they were getting their employees. She suggested perhaps it was a foreign country where no one understood English. Coffee was in order so I sat down to decide on my next course of action. So far, I was batting zero using common sense.

Running out of options, I found the number on-line for the director of the Alabama State Troopers. After explaining my predicament, this nice woman once again put me on hold so she could check with a superior. Ten minutes later, she said that if my doctor would fill out a form or send a letter they would the issue a new license. Hallelujah, I proclaimed hanging up the phone. My wife came running into my office expecting me to have had a new spiritual awakening. Boy was she fooled. More phone calls to the doctor and a fax to Montgomery and a week later it was done. I was legal once again.

The question is simple. Is there no common sense left in Montgomery and/or intelligence? Perhaps we would be better off if the driver’s license division was outsourced to India. At least there, they do speak English, sort of.

*****

Unfortunately, J.J.'s experience is not uncommon. We personally know of the following:

A person attempting to acquire a marker for a Revolutionary War ancestor was asked by an individual with the Lauderdale V.A. office if she knew her ancestor's Social Security number.

A person seeking a title for an inherited vehicle was asked if her relative would again drive the car. We're pretty sure the man in question planned on staying dead.

A woman working in the motor vehicle licensing division at the Florence-Lauderdale Government Building couldn't think of the name of the facility. When another customer offered the name, the clerk replied, "Yeah, what she said." The clerk then went on to tell the customer that he couldn't purchase a business license until after September 31st. We imagine he's still waiting.

We pay the salary of these state/county employees--depressing isn't it?

*****

So firefighters are political...who knew? Many months ago, we mentioned a future blog on Lauderdale sex offender Lloyd Hayes, a former Florence Fire Marshal. We had previously mentioned Hayes in a series of articles on a man indicted and tried for rape; at that time we had many requests to do a story on Hayes. Ultimately, we decided since Hayes had been in no documented trouble since his child pornography charges, we would not do the column.

With local firefighters again in the news, especially in Killen, we've once more received requests to do a column featuring a timeline of Hayes' fall from grace. The story of child pornographer Lloyd Hayes should be published in the next few days, and apologies to those who thought we were giving him special treatment in not offering it sooner. We certainly have no intentions of glossing over any city employee who uses our tax dollars to store photos of the sexual torture of children.

*****

Shoalanda

The Keith McGuire Rape Case - Part III

"He stated he had a problem." - Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely speaking of Keith McGuire

When board members of the Lexington Water Department heard of the job sharing agreement between Keith McGuire and Lloyd Hayes, they too met behind closed doors. Even though Hayes was not an official employee of the town, such an arrangement was ill advised. McGuire gave up his job with the town, but once again many questioned his actions. Was Keith McGuire determined to insinuate himself into a position of familiarity with young girls, or just a man attempting to make a living during a difficult period in his life?

McGuire taught at Haleyville High School for two years, with ostensibly no complaints. In the fall of 2004, McGuire moved to J. F. Shields High School in Beatrice, a small Monroe County town in South Alabama. After a year at Shields, McGuire moved again, this time to Jackson High School in Clarke County, even farther from his Lexington home. By this time, McGuire was divorced from his wife Tammy, who had taken their children and moved to Waynesboro, Tennessee. While it’s not unusual for some coaches to move frequently, many found it odd that each relocation moved McGuire farther from his family.

McGuire publicly blamed any problems on Robin Greene of Limestone County. After the physical education teacher left Clements High School without any official sanctions, Mrs. Greene took it upon herself to warn Keith McGuire’s new employers of his past record. According to Mrs. Greene, she had collected the names of 50 students at various schools, all alleging to have been molested in some manner by McGuire. On February 14, 2006, McGuire filed a slander suit against Robin Greene, claiming her campaign to discredit him had hurt his reputation and brought undue hardship on him. The wheels of justice grind slowly, and this suit is still pending in Limestone County; however, McGuire also initiated a restraining order against Mrs. Greene, preventing her from contact with any school at which he is employed.

With the Clements charges now seemingly behind him, Keith McGuire began to make a reputation for himself at Jackson High School--this time a good one. Besides his duties as assistant coach, McGuire taught Physical Education, Drivers’ Education, and Health. In the autumn of 2006, the National All-Star Football Association chose McGuire to coach a regional game in Cookville, Tennessee.

Keith McGuire was finally receiving the kind of success and attention he thought he deserved. Then a Shoals area woman filed rape charges.

To be continued...

The Keith McGuire Rape Case - Part II

"He stated he had a problem." - Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely speaking of Keith McGuire

It was early in 2002 when Robin Greene’s 12 year-old daughter came to her with a story of being touched by her physical education teacher. Coach McGuire had touched her breast while they were playing one-on-one basketball and she knew it wasn’t right. Soon a 16 year-old girl came forward with a similar story concerning the Clements coach.

Clements, a rural school in western Limestone County, was a tight knit institution. Such things didn’t happen at the sprawling school where Keith McGuire had access to girls in the 7th through 12th grades. The school board called a special meeting and convened behind closed doors on March 7, 2002, to accept McGuire’s resignation.

The board stressed that McGuire, who had not retained an attorney, had taken a polygraph with inconclusive results. No charges were filed against the teacher even though according to Sheriff Mike Blakely, McGuire stated that he had “a problem.” The board also agreed to take no further action on the Clements coach’s teaching license on the condition he agree to counseling. Keith McGuire attended one session.

McGuire soon returned to the hamlet of Lexington where his father was a member of the town council. The town’s water department was in need of a meter reader, and Bobby McGuire made sure the job was offered to his son. Keith McGuire’s salary at the financially strapped water department was barely enough to meet his basic needs, and he began searching for another teaching position.

Without any official black marks on his record and a still valid teaching license, McGuire found work in the nearby Haleyville school system. He began coaching at the Winston County school in September 2002, but the problem of his mounting debts remained. Not eager to give up his job with the town of Lexington, but unable to fulfill his obligations on his free weekends, he sought an assistant to help with meter reading and related duties. Soon his friend Lloyd Hayes, a former Florence City Fire Marshal and convicted sex offender, joined McGuire in the field. It wasn’t long before residents realized the two men spent an inordinate amount of time working around one local entity--Lexington High School.

To be continued...