Salvation Army Asking for 6K More of Your Dollars

First, let us say that we have financial needs. Oh, we can't tell you what they are, but we would really love for you to help. So how about it? Can we count on you for a generous donation to our next tropical vacation...uh, we mean life saving surgery.

How many of you would give to a shady organizaton that won't even give you a cover story as to what the money is for? To a "church" that just received a 38K grant from the City of Florence?

Here's what the Salvation Army Church wants:


Dear Friends and Family of The Salvation Army. I would like to personally thank you for all of your support given to The Salvation Army as we strive to "preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Meet human needs, in His name, WITHOUT discrimination."
I am calling you for your help today. We have numerous clients who have come seeking assistance to the tune of $5,809.81. As of right now, we do not have the funds to pay these requests. However, we believe there are people in this community who can help us help them.
If you have excess and can help someone in need, please give.

THANK YOU in advance!

Your Servant,
Captain Benjamin Deuel

We're always amazed at the abysmal state of vocabulary among so many. Here Capt. Deuel proves our point. We're pretty sure that saying homosexuals should be dead is a form of discrimination and that refusing to teach that baptism is necessary for salvation is not "preaching the gospel."

How does that rather cheeky John Prine song go? "He's got more balls than a big brass monkey!"