Casey White as Snake Plissken in "Escape from F! Town"

Don't miss the reboot of the Escape series. After his abysmal reception in the MCU, Wyatt Russell is no longer a part of the project. Casey While, until now a bit actor, will portray the iconic Snake Plissken.

Joining him as his ageing new squeeze is a reported star of duck porn known for her sensuous waddle. Billed only as Slicky Vicky, the actress has so far failed to confirm her plum role. A hologram of Orson Welles is also reported to be a major addition to the cast as the Lauderdale County sheriff. 

What prompted producers to offer the movie's lead to Casey? Reportedly, he and his ducky duchess were discovered at the Florence Escape Room where they recently became the first to solve the new puzzle - Escape from Lauderdale County Jail.

 Special thanks to a friend who didn't wish credit for the above image.