Saturday, February 27, 2021

Muscle Shoals Refuses to Relinquish Title of Craziest City

 


A Muscle Shoals reader challenges Florence to reach the level of that town's depravity:



Being the ever so patient armchair observer, It appears Florence aspires to be Muscle Shoals. Mr. Butterman and Mr. Dicky are quickly turning Florence into the object of constant criticism. For the sake of my good friends in Florence, we all hope the rest of the city council collectively has oversight and governing rule of their inept management and rather distasteful embarrassing behavior.

Across the pond to the fish bowl called Muscle Shoals, we decided a while back that Muscle Shoals will never be #1 in football like we were promised by that little fella from Cordova a dozen years or so ago, but we will not have our status of #1 in small town backroom secrets taken away. Unlike Florence, our stinky politics is tightly woven between the city and school. In little towns like ours, it’s imperative to have those placed in areas that provide cover for one another’s bad and sometimes illegal acts.

Without a doubt, Muscle Shoals could be a t.v. comedy series. As Jeff Foxworthy would say, you may be from Muscle Shoals IF you....

.... have a sump pump under your house
.... wish you had built your house on stilts
.... think fine dining is a smiley face on your styrofoam carry our box
.... your co-workers have to be a spouse, sister, brother, son, daughter, cousin, aunt, uncle,
 mother, daddy, boyfriend, baby-mother, lover, and not to forget about the star football player’s daddy and mommy

.... rain means sandbagging and replacing your landscape after flooding
.... hoping your pet doesn’t disappear in a sink hole
.... 50 police cars sit in a row at all times
.... police chief hires new offices each month that has 31 days in it.
.... city council writes policy to keep police officers from transferring to other departments
.... newly hired police officers quit after training
.... police officers have personal calendars marking the days till retirement
.... POA served at midnight on new patrolman before he completes training
.... City council woman calls police chief “sweetie” “hon” during council meeting

Now folks, the best material for Jeff is true stories. Nowhere but the south. We are the king of crazy.

Muscle Shoals will keep our #1 status of murky waters - not just in the ponds.


Muscle Shoals Council Meeting - Best Comedy Show in Town


5 comments:

  1. Exactly ! Muscle Shoals, the place where a Business Consulting Co., "Click Synergy", rather than the Mayor, is hired to make the "City Hall will be Closed due to Snow" announcement. "Click Synergy", or as they refer to themselves on Facebook, "Our misson is to help you take your buinsess to the next level." (I guess spelling is optional...) was initially hired to run the past election Campaigns for SOME of the Mayoral and Council Members at a 'questionable' cost. We thought we had seen the last of them after the election, but apparently, they're still being paid - I wonder by whom. Ah well. Muscle Shoals, the place were the School Board has a larger annual operating budget than the City, but that's another story . . .

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  2. If Muscle Shoals residents truly wanted things to change, WAFF would be airing coverage of the daily protests occuring at City Hall. 'What protests?' you ask? Point made.

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  3. Couple typos that need to be fixed. What is a POA? Did you mean PFA?

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    1. We do not know what that means. We will contact the blog author to inquire.

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    2. I’m assuming POA stands for Protection of Abuse, but it’s actually a Protection From Abuse Order. It’s abbreviated with PFA.

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