How Trashy Can Sheffield Get?

 

Travel with us now to a galaxy far away, to a mythical town called Shurfill. Now, let's be flies on the wall as we listen to a very private conversation...

Steve Stanley: Hi, John. I hate to bother you, but with the lawsuit and all, well, I was just wondering...this being already the second quarter of 2023...is there any update on when Inspiration Landing construction will begin?

John Elkington: Of course, Steve. We plan to begin the day after all the city's street-side trash is picked up.

Stanley: Oh...so you mean...

Elkington: That's right, Steve. We don't want to just bluntly say we'll never begin. Doesn't saying the day after your street department finally does its job sound so much better?

*****

According to our urban explorer J. Redmon, the two piles of refuse pictured above have adorned the curb of Atlanta Avenue for over four weeks now. We're thinking the trash may actually have squatter's rights by now.

The plan may be to pick up all the trash the same week it's announced that Inspiration Landing is a no-go. As Mayor Stanley would say: You citizens can't have everything. We picked up the trash for you; what else do you want?