New Florence Arts & Museums Director?

 

The City of Florence is advertising for a new department head: Director of Arts and Museums. It would seem that current director Elizabeth Stoddard Watts Jordan is retiring...or at least leaving the position she has enjoyed since 2015.

Obviously, with her degree in geology (we still think that has to be geography) from UNA, she will be hard to replace. Therefore, we'd like to make a suggestion - Brian W. Murphy.

Murphy's qualifications:

1. He's experienced in performance art. Here is Brian dressed as a local activist. It take cojones to ridicule a taxpaying citizen:

2. He has an excellent vocabulary. He has frequently called himself a professor at UNA. Don't real professors really love it when adjunct faculty do that?

3. He speaks so well of Florence. Author of "Not Tearing Down History, but Building up Hope."

4. He's even won a prize for exposing the City of Florence. Author of "Confronting White Rage in a Red State."

5. He works well alone. Took it upon himself to edit the script for the Florence walking tour, adding additional anti-capital punishment rhetoric. Some city residents were so thrilled over Murphy's initiative that they made sure the FBI was aware of it.

6. He's an excellent story teller. Concocted a lame account of why Florence citizens were picketing him: 

7. He's not afraid to take risks. He took part in a demonstration against his own employer, the City of Florence.

8. He's also a great photographer. He secretly took a photo of Councilman Jimmy Oliver being stopped by one of Murphy's detractors, then had someone post it on Facebook.

9. He has terrific editing abilities. He once removed the comment button from the Pope's Tavern Facebook page due to critical remarks.

10. He's knowledgeable on required procedures. He once stated that sub-committee meetings of the historical board were not subject to open meetings act.

11. He handles criticism well. Nothing like the threat of a lawsuit to bring the citizens together.

If any readers are aware of qualifications we've omitted from our endorsement of Brian W. Murphy, please forward them to us for a later update. 

The Staff at Shoalanda Speaks