"The City of Florence Suggests..."

 

As most of you know, the City of Florence is no longer allowing Room in the Inn to operate within the city limits. A letter from RITI to the general public stated "the City of Florence suggests" that the freezing homeless try the Salvation Army for assistance. Way to go, Handy Dandy Andy!

Yes, please try the Salvationists unless you're a woman who:

1. Likes to eat a decent meal.

2. Likes to use toilet paper.

3. Prefers not to be sexually hit on (or even raped according to one report).

Or unless you're a man who:

1. Prefers other males for a romantic partner.

2. Prefers not to give in to sexual advances of the female staff.

Be sure to go if you prefer a plan of salvation where all you have to do is throw up your hands and say "Save me, Jesus!"

We're pretty sure Dick Jordan is sitting in front of a warm fire right now, rubbing his hands together, and chuckling, while Andy hovers in the corner and asks, "What's next on the New & Improved Florence agenda, Master?"