Miss Labor Day 2018

Yes, another Labor Day has rolled around and with it the annual Spring Park Labor Day beauty contest. Let's see what this year's bevy of beauties has to offer.

First, representing the Pipe Fitters Union is none other than Muscle Shoals' own Miss Piper Leigh Pipe. Piper is riding high on her older brother's phenomenal popularity at the moment and is sure to be a crowd favorite. On the downside are Piper's measurements of 3" 3" 3".

Next up is Pumkin Pie Spicer representing the Shoals Artisan Union. It's a plus for her that this is the best season to show off her talent of adding Pumpkin Pie Spice to everything from soap to cheese straws, but on the downside is that a mere whiff of her makes some people hurl.

The third contestant this year is Kevin Davis representing the Muscle Shoals Teachers Union. Kevin will be a hard act to follow after he demonstrates his talent of pulling small animals whole from his beard. On the downside is the fact that the animals have been dead for various lengths of time. 

Fourth is C. B. Doil representing the Rogersville Police Brotherhood. C. B. at 86 is a little long in the tooth for competition, but his remarkable talent of being able to breathe for ten minutes in a room full of hash smoke is sure to be a crowd pleaser.

The fifth and last contestant is Stacy Student from Brooks High School. Stacy is representing the Killen Youth Movement and hasn't been shy about planning to win the Miss Congeniality prize this year. In fact, she's been heard on tape to threaten to deck any b***h who gets in her way. 

That's the lineup for this year. If the suspense is just too much for some readers, feel free to take a break, but be sure to come back tomorrow when we'll be doing an up close and personal take on Stacy.