UNA: Where Death is Only Relative?

We know of at least one reader who collects typos and odd sayings from the TimesDaily. You know the headlines: "Sex Clams" or "Woman Beaten Against Her Will."

A story on UNA and the problems it faces with Mylar and other plastic debris contains this gem:

We're guessing this UNA biology prof who has discovered short term death will be up for a Nobel Prize in science. 

Meanwhile in Rogersville: Friday is the last day to apply for the three openings at the police department - a chief, an officer, and a custodian. Are some of these positions already filled?

We know of a custodian who need a job. She has a lot of experience in several areas.

It's actually the other two listings that are intriguing. The openings are due to the retirement of both chief and assistant chief. Yet the positions are described as chief and officer. Is a current officer a shoe-in to fill the assistant chief's job? It does seem likely.

We're sure the entire town is agog with excitement over the job search...