Does Your Truck Squat?

 

Until today, we had never heard of a squatted truck. If we've even seen one, we don't remember it. Now Phillip Pettus of Green Hill and two others have written a bill declaring them illegal if the front is raised more than four inches.

HB55 is based on highway safety and damage to roads. Currently only one state has passed such a law. 

We agree that these should be illegal; however, we suggest Rep. Pettus throw in the wording that these warped vehicles are also ugly. We're also pretty sure these trucks are owned by males who don't want any females to join them on their excursions.

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Hi, I'm Ethan. I'm an 11 month-old Lab/German Shepherd mix. Come spring me from this joint. I'm in the Florence shelter in the industrial park:

Where Is Lauderdale School Board Building its Innovation Center?

 

Remember this from grade school: All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares? We could say the same about one Shoals county: All Florence is in Lauderdale County, but not all Lauderdale County is in Florence.

Specifically, let's use 2023 U.S. Census Bureau figures concerning population (these numbers vary greatly depending on source). How much of Lauderdale County is designated as Florence? (Remember - other sources denote a larger population.)

Lauderdale - 92,797

Florence - 39,709

These statistices indicate that Florence makes up 42.8% of the population of Lauderdale County. Do these numbers have any real significance?

1. 42.8% of the population of Lauderdale cannont vote on the school superintendent thanks to Lynn Greer.

2. The new Lauderdale County Innovation Center, the replacement for Allen Thornton Tech, will be built in Florence in the Ag Center complex. 

Therefore, the City of Florence will have a non-federal public building within its limits over which it has no control. Neither will citizens of Florence have any say so in electing the person who does control the facility.

While it may seem a small thing to many, it hasn't been that many years since the flag controversy at Wilson School in northern Lauderdale. How will it work if the Innovation Center and the city are at odds over a particular flag or federal/state order? Isn't this basically the problem with the Confederate monument at the county courthouse?

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Speaking of Schools, There Are Currently Measles Outbreaks in Arizona, California, Georgia, Maryland, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New York City, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

Did You Have an "Uncle Woodie?"

 

We recently read that February 3rd marked the 100th anniversary of the death of President Woodrow Wilson. It was interesting that one article we read declared his star had fallen from an unbelievable zenith to almost a pit of derision from most historical scholars. The other article reiterated how Wilson remained one of the nation's most inspiring leaders.

No matter how you feel, Wilson had a profound effect on early Twentieth Century life and politics. We have been reminded of that whenever we've had even the most casual conversations with friends, co-workers, or almost anyone. It doesn't take long for individuals of a certain age to mention their Uncle Woodie. Or for a younger person to tell a story about their great-uncle Woodie.

We had an Uncle Woodie who fought in World War II, played baseball for recreation, became an executive at a large Nashville manufacturer, and smiled when he mentioned stories of his "foot-washin'" relatives.

Now we have to ask if, fifty years in the future, people across the country will be talking about their Uncle Don or Uncle Joe. Unless they come from a long line of Donalds or Josephs, we somehow doubt it.

Dead People Vacating in Florence

 

Get Your Steve the Otter Merch Here: https://www.etsy.com/market/steve_the_otter

It may not be quite as amusing as "Sex Clams," but a recent TimesDaily story is certainly worded in the worst possible way. According to the TD writer: 

The Florence City School Board met Thursday morning to nominate and approve the new District 5 board member who will fill the seat vacated by the late Laura Hardeman. 

We're pretty sure the late board member didn't vacate her seat or anything else. The correct wording would have been:

The Florence City School Board met Thursday morning to nominate and approve the new District 5 board member to fill the seat made vacant by the death of Laura Hardeman.

What will the TD do when Bernie Delinski and Russ Corey are gone?

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Hi, I'm Hercules, a six year-old male Staffordshire Terrier mix. I may be strong, but I'm twice as cute. Come see me at the Florence shelter in the industrial park:

Special: "Illuminating Neighbors" at the Standpipe

 

This afternoon from 5:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m., neighbors will come together in an effort to raise suicide awareness. The standpipe is located at 1399 North Montgomery Avenue (you can't miss it!).

This event is sponsored by:

CU360

City of Florence

Rick's Produce

Griffin Realty

Panera Bread

Frederickson's

Alabama Roll Tide Laundry

Ally Collum Flooring

Double A's Music & Events

Bill & Janet Griffin

Mike's Meat Market

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We typed this as given to us; however, we wonder why the City of Sheffield isn't listed and the City of Florence is?

Addenda 4:00 a.m. - We've been told that Sheffield did contribute, but too late to make the official announcement.

Crazier in Alabama

 

Our state gets crazier every day. Earlier today, Alabama became the first in something. Our supreme court declared that IVF embryos are unborn children. We don't think that will hold up at a higher level, since it takes implantation to complete conception.

According to legal experts, what it will do is run fertility clinics out of the state. Why? If a clinic inadvertently loses a fertilized egg, it will owe the parent the same amount of money as a driver who accidentally kills a child - at least that's the theory.

Do any other states espouse this doctrine? According to an article in 1819 News, no. The other 49 states and various territories understand that an embryo can't live without implantation in a uterus.

But, hey, this is Alabama. Let's get crazy.

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Hi, I'm Duffy. I'm a female 18 month-old Basenji mix. Come see me at the Florence shelter in the industrial park:

Special: Who Can Make One of These?

 

https://www.goldiewylde.com/blog-1/2021/5/19/diy-backdrop

Clarification: The shelter needs just a backdrop - not balloons. If you can make this, we'll purchase the materials for the project.

Do you have the materials to make the small backdrop on the right? Or perhaps the medium on the left? It basically requires plywood, hinges, and a low gloss paint that photographs well (one side light; one side dark). Directions are on site referenced under photograph.

Why do we need a folding backdrop that requires little storage space?

Rosie would look a thousand times better if she had a dark solid color backdrop behind her. 

Rocket would look a thousand times better if he had a light solid color backdrop behind him.

If you can do this, call the Florence shelter at 256-760-6676 to let the director know that you are crafting a backdrop and when you will deliver it to the facility at 3240 Roberson Road in the industrial park.