John Elkington Lists His Demands

 

The following is merely satire; however, we suspect it's still right on the money...

Memphis developer John Elkington has listed his demands to assure his continuing presence in the Inspiration Landing project in Sheffield:

1. Absolutely no traffic delays caused by the railways.

2. Zero percent run-down buildings within a two-mile radius of IL.

3. No shootings of any kind within Sheffield city limits.

4. The Rock'n'Roll stature on North Montgomery Avenue will be removed and replaced with one of Elkington himself.

5. Sheffield government will morph into an appointed council - all members appointed by Elkington.

If these demands aren't met, the entire state of Alabama will be ghosted by the developer in his finite wisdom.

If the demands are met, be prepared for page two of demands to arrive shortly. 

Welcome to Sheffield's version of the Great Pumpkin - now in its eighth year.