Two Mall Chains Go Under, but Andy's Gonna Save Florence?

 

Last Monday, two of the largest operators of American malls declared bankruptcy. At that time, CBL (107 malls) and PREIT (more than 20 malls) both stated that so few rent-paying tenants made it impossible for them to pay utilities, maintenance, security, taxes, etc. on their properties. Both real estate companies stressed that they're not closing malls at this time, but looking for investors to save the retail establishments. Good luck with that; any of you out there want to invest?

Meanwhile, here in Florence new mayor Handy Dandy Andy is going to save Florence Mall with a few phone calls. While we're sure accountants know more about saving malls than real estate magnates, we somehow doubt his promises will come to fruition. In areas where Andy could actually do some good - homeless and animal welfare - Andy is literally working against these projects.

If you live in Florence, contact your city council reps and tell them how you feel. 

Mo Says "No!"

 

Our U.S. representative Mo Brooks says he won't ratify the electoral votes giving Joe Biden the presidency. Just another day in the on going saga of Alabama in the national spotlight.

On the home front, informed insiders tell us Roy Moore is sitting in front of his television mumbling, "See, I'm not the worst loser in the world after all."

In years past, we've recommended that our readers support Room in the Inn and HASRA with their Thanksgiving/Christmas giving. This  year, we're suggesting something different, especially to those of you who live in Lauderdale County.

Things remain unclear in Florence/Lauderdale concerning shelter funding. Colbert has never come through on many of its promises to its shelter. Let's make it a good Christmas for both shelters; here's how to donate:

Florence/Lauderdale Animal Services

3240 Roberson Boulevard

Florence, AL 35630

Donations can be made to Chloe’s Fund via PayPal to

friendsofflas@gmail.com

Our Amazon List can be found at:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2EOSRO7SLZ8FG?ref_=wl_share

Colbert County Animal Shelter

5010 Missouri Street

Tuscumbia, AL 35674

"The City of Florence Suggests..."

 

As most of you know, the City of Florence is no longer allowing Room in the Inn to operate within the city limits. A letter from RITI to the general public stated "the City of Florence suggests" that the freezing homeless try the Salvation Army for assistance. Way to go, Handy Dandy Andy!

Yes, please try the Salvationists unless you're a woman who:

1. Likes to eat a decent meal.

2. Likes to use toilet paper.

3. Prefers not to be sexually hit on (or even raped according to one report).

Or unless you're a man who:

1. Prefers other males for a romantic partner.

2. Prefers not to give in to sexual advances of the female staff.

Be sure to go if you prefer a plan of salvation where all you have to do is throw up your hands and say "Save me, Jesus!"

We're pretty sure Dick Jordan is sitting in front of a warm fire right now, rubbing his hands together, and chuckling, while Andy hovers in the corner and asks, "What's next on the New & Improved Florence agenda, Master?"

Mike Hubbard Finally in Real Prison - Sorta

 

Michael Gregory Hubbard, aka Mike, was sentenced to prison in 2016. He was finally placed  behind bars on September 11th of this year (Happy Patriot's Day!).

We're not sure how well the former state legislator liked the Lee County Jail, but it had to be better than actual prison. Or was it?

Hubbard was finally transferred to the Department of Corrections on Tuesday. Yes, he's officially in Kilby in Montgomery, but not in the standard receiving unit. He's been placed in the Kilby infirmary. This is ostensibly due to the facility's COVID quarantine; he's scheduled to be out of the infirmary in two weeks. Unless...

We're not sure if Mike and his attorneys can come up with any ideas to keep him in a reasonably comfortable area, but at this point, nothing will surprise us about the case.

Hubbard is scheduled to end his six consecutive sentences on September 8, 2028. Due to the nature of his sentencing, he would not ordinarily be eligible for parole until 2027; however, see above paragraph. At least it's a start.

Keller Physician Thinks State Flag Looks Racist

 

In case anyone doesn't know what the Alabama state flag looks like, here it it:

Now a local cardiologist has gone on record that it "looks racist to him."

He doesn't even seem to understand what a St. Andrew's cross is. (It's been around since at least 1542...300 years before the advent of the Confederate States of America.) Of course, you can call anything racist. We're pretty sure we saw a racist acorn between our front door and car yesterday. How did we know it was a racist acorn? It just looked that way to us.

This is where you may feel free to insert the traditional speech about book learning and common sense. No...wait...not even seeing any erudition in the good doc's comments. 

Nemo me impune lacessit!

Protesting Regions Bank's Humble Downtown Florence Office?

 

For whatever reasons, Regions Bank hasn't gotten very good consumer reviews recently. Now the Florence office on Seminary Street has received an extremely odd critique. An officer with a local social justice group thinks the reproduction of the Forks of Cypress home is in bad taste.

We'll leave the architectural reviews up to others, but there are two salient points here:

1. Regions didn't build the edifice. It was commissioned and built by AmSouth, a bank that Regions took over in 2006.

2. The bank building was constructed in 1983. That was ten years before Alex Haley published Queen. thrusting the plantation into a larger limelight. 

Now the question: Will the building become the object of protests? Let's all go eat some pasta while we await the answer to that.

The Drive-Thru Window At Back Adds So Much...

No Phones, No Beds, No Compassion...

 

Lest anyone think it's only animals that Florence's new mayor is failing to support, consider the homeless. The parks department has been ordered to deactivate most electrical outlets in the city's public park areas. The Room in the Inn intake area on Veteran's Drive has been severely restricted in what services it can offer. Is this what you wanted, Florence?

Yes, we understand that our homeless population is not something we want displayed on tourist brochures. We also understand that these are human beings who deserve a modicum of respect as long as no laws are broken. What do the city's new policies say about us caring as human beings? Shall we just cross out the word "caring" and pretend that we're still pleasing God?