Who?

Let's play a game of "Who?" We'll start it, but if readers have similar questions, or answers to any questions, we'll be happy to publish them.

1. Who would tell Billy Underwood, or anyone else, just what is or isn't in a Muscle Shoals police officer's personnel file?

2. Who brags he has a meat grinder at his home so that no one will know when he kills a deer out of season?

3. Who thought it was a good idea to let Patricia Ayers and her husband Matthew, both arrested for the rape of a child, sit next to each other at their arraignment?

4. Who decided to reduce the number of Lauderdale County resource officers from two to one--for all schools in the county?

5. Who thinks David "Turtle Slayer" Bradford will run unopposed for mayor in the next municipal election?

*****

SHOALS DEMOCRATIC CLUB MEETING

Monday, January 21, 2013

6:30 p.m. Kick-off Meeting 2013

Steelworkers' Union Hall at the corner of Wilson Dam Road and Avalon Avenue in Muscle Shoals

It's time to pay dues for 2013

$20 for Regular members, $5 for Students, $200 for Lifetime members

For additional information, e-mail shoalsdemocrats@gmail.com

or call 256-764-0016

Shoalanda

Did Muscle Shoals Civil Service Board Violate Sunshine Law?

Late last year, two local elected entities were accused of violating the Alabama Sunshine Law--the Florence Board of Education and the Rogersville City Council. Now Tuscumbia attorney Billy Underwood has requested that the a new and different Muscle Shoals Civil Service Board hear the case of Greg Scoggins, a terminated city police officer accused of improper conduct. Mr. Underwood claims the current board has talked freely concerning the case outside the proper legal confines.

From a January 10, 2013, letter signed by Mr. Underwood:

Honorable Mayor David Bradford
2010 Avalon Avenue
Muscle Shoals, Alabama 35661

Dear Mayor;

It has recently been brought to my attention that members of the Civil Service Board entered into concerted discussions about Greg Scoggins and his appeal before them. They entered into discussions with Chief Robert Evans regarding the policy rules and procedures that were followed.

My understanding is that their sentiment was to uphold your ruling. This seems to be more of a Kangaroo Court atmosphere than a fair and impartial hearing before the Civil Service Board. I have been told and verily believe Ricky Williams, as the gatekeeper of making sure all hearings are fair, literally got extremely upset over the actions of the Civil Service Board and questioned the women sent by his Clerk’s office as to why they didn’t silence the premature discussions. Scoggins is entitled to a hearing before an impartial panel. It is readily apparent he has been prejudged and compromised. I am asking that there be a special Civil Service Board appointed to hear Scoggins’ case.

From a January 11, 2013, letter signed by Mr. Underwood:

Bill Aycock, Chairman
Civil Service Board
2010 Avalon Avenue
Muscle Shoals, AL 35661

Dear Mr. Aycock;

As you know, I have asked that the hearing set Tuesday, January 15 be rescheduled. Scoggins’ trial in District Court is February 19, 2013.

I would also like to give you notice that, if we’re having the hearing on January 15, I intend to first put Lisa Ricks and Elaine Coan on to ascertain what discussions were made prematurely with the Civil Service Board about Greg Scoggins’ case. These two individuals had discussions with Ricky Williams, informing him of the chatter by certain members of the Civil Service Board concerning Scoggins. I am sure Ricky Williams must have had selective amnesia when he denied knowing anything about conversations that were held at the Civil Service Board meeting. I don’t take lightly people denying those discussions were made.

If I have to I will subpoena all the other department heads to find out what exactly was said.

Many professions and appointed/elected positions are subject to certain ethics. It has always been an enigma to us that there are those who openly violate these ethics. Kudos to Mr. Underwood, no matter what we personally think of Greg Scoggins, for his stance on this matter.

*****

And now an interesting letter from a Gnat Pond businessman:

To Mz. Shoalanda,

First I wants to say I ain't confess to nothin cause I ain't do nothin. Nexts, I wants to say I truly appreciate yo blog on the fuzz at Gnat Pond shooting all them innocent turtles and blamin us honest businessmans.

This Killer Turtle Dweebs gang has gots to be stopped before they move on up to possums and those bad a** things that look like possums but has shells. 

Do whats yo can an if yo evr need a good deal come see me. Just asks for Kevin or Dollar Bill from the Ham and we'll fixs yo right up.

***** 

Who comprise the Muscle Shoals Civil Service Board? The following is taken from the city's website:

CIVIL SERVICE BOARD (3 year terms)
** Elected by employees, not subject to appointment by Mayor and City Council
Mike Price	109 Brooke Drive	383-0988	June '13
Raymond Eggleston	810 Firestone Avenue	381-1447	June '15
Donna Tipps	314 W. Nassau	381-7687	June '14
Leon Madden	203 Elliott Avenue	381-9241	June '15
**Bill Aycock	310 Poplar Drive	383-1192	June '13

*****

We'll be happy to publish any commentary from the civil service board members who may wish to respond.



Shoalanda

Special Report: Underwood Requests Special Civil Service Board

In letters dated January 10, 2013, Colbert County attorney Billy Underwood has asked that the Muscle Shoals Civil Service Board step down and a new one be appointed to hear the case of Greg Scoggins, former police officer recently terminated by Mayor David Bradford.

We'll have more details and copies of these letters in tomorrow's blog.

Shoalanda Speaks

They're Here/Turtle Killer Dweebs

They're here. No, not body snatchers, but soul snatchers--pornographers. We don't like to think about such people living in our town, in the Shoals, but they do.

Let's look at Patricia Ayers. She states on her Facebook page that she has three children. It's a good bet that only one of them is a girl. Or, it could be something even worse, if possible. She also relates her eight year-old daughter had a "speech delay." This may mean there were other problems. The child was easy to manipulate and may have been more prone to irritate her step-father.

Yes, it's a sad fact that Patricia Ayers may have preferred her husband David to her child. We've seen that before with Shaun Shapley and his wife, a wife who even stood by the man who killed her daughter. Patricia doesn't seem to be that fast on the uptake, looking on witchcraft sites for spells to help her lose weight.

Ayers Home at Johnson Cross Roads

Now the state has all her children, and the little girl is emotionally scarred. Many would say put Patricia Ayers in prison for life and toss away the key. In today's Alabama judicial system, that's almost impossible. We say give Patricia a lobotomy and find her a job scrubbing floors. If we don't, she'll just find another sick man that she loves more than her children.

*****

Long rumored to exist in the Shoals area, it's now been confirmed that the Turtle Killer Dweebs (TKD) is no mythical organization. While little is known of this secret society, it's believed the TKD train police officers who have aspirations for higher rank.

The TKD is purported to have formed symbiotic relationships with local body shops, drug dealers, and Chinese restaurants. It's motto is "To Leave no Turtle Shell Unturned or Unshot."

While the hierarchy of the TKD is still somewhat nebulous, defectors from this mystic group claim two of its highest ranking officials have now infiltrated Muscle Shoals city government. It's also been suggested that the City of Florence has offered asylum to those who wish to leave behind the violent nature of the TKD and has provided safe houses for the dissidents.

We can't promise that we'll bring our readers updates on the society's latest machinations since those who have previously reported on the TKD are rumored to lie at the bottom of Gnat Pond; however, the publishers of the Franklin series have offered us a book contract...



Shoalanda

What the Shoals Thinks of Mayor David Bradford

Our readers haven't been exactly shy when commenting on the escapades of Muscle Shoals Mayor David Bradford, aka the Great Turtle Hunter (You're guaranteed safe from killer turtles as long as I'm your mayor. Well? You haven't see any recently, have you?).

Muscle Shoals Mutant Mayor

Donatello Bradford

From "South Bound": I've always thought the name Trojans has come to have too many sexual meanings. Now Muscle Shoals High can have a name that fits. The Mighty Turtle Hunters.

From "Killen Resident": How did this bozo get to be mayor? I used to think half the stories I heard about Muscle Shoals were fiction. Now I'm not so sure.

From "Damsel in Distress": Just get robbed at Walmart. Muscle Shoals will send two cops, one to take your statement and one to buy the Little Debbie Cakes.

From "Biology Bob": It's really not funny. You can laugh but that kind of slaughter and condoning it can disrupt the ecosystem. Just think how many drug dealers turtles eat out by Gnat Pond Road.

From "Layla": I saw a comical comment that asked about who paid for the damage to Bradford's police car. Yeah, I wanna know that too. I hope everyone is at the next city council meeting and asks some real questions.

From "Mistress of the Garden": Doesn't sound like things have changed since I moved from MSC 15 yrs ago. M&M's need to be restarted.

 
From "Bambi's Dad": First a turtle, then a deer. I hope those innocent turtles know we'll give them shelter on the reservation whenever they need it.

There were a few more, but some couldn't be edited enough for publication. How do we personally feel? Whether Mayor David Bradford shot the turtles for food or for their shells of just for "fun," we now think much less of him than previously. Killing any of God's creatures shouldn't come easily.

We'll continue to take memes/artwork for future blogs.

Editor's note: Three of the above memes were sent to us by the same person; we infer these were forwarded to that individual. If anyone wishes credit for these, please contact us. Again, we're still accepting memes if any readers have others.



Shoalanda

A Voice of Reason/Bubba Weighs In

We trust everyone has now read Mr. Billy Underwood's letter to the Muscle Shoals Civil Service Board. It was well written, hilarious, informative, and at no point came close to the subject at hand.

We've learned that Mayor Bradford was once a police officer for the city, liked to kill innocent turtles, and wasn't always the best of shots. How do you aim at a turtle from inside your vehicle and hit said vehicle instead?

We've learned that the Muscle Shoals City Jail has been home to various sexcapades. They do call jailers "screws" you know, at least in all those old Edgar G. Robinson/Jimmy Cagney movies from the 30s and 40s.

We've also learned what happened to the lawsuit filed against the city by an African American man taken into custody two years ago. The handcuffed detainee claimed he was attacked by a Muscle Shoals lieutenant and patrol officer.  Many have asked us the resolution of that suit, but all lips were sealed...until now.

So who 'fessed up? Ratted? Narced? Doesn't Greg Scoggins seem the most logical culprit? He's been with the force for 11 years; he knows where the MSPD bodies are buried; he thinks this information will regain his job; and he also thinks he has nothing to lose.

Let's say Greg Scoggins does get his job back; what happens then? Would you like to be Officer Scoggins after you had ratted on your fellow officers...not just to the civil service board, but to all of Shoalanda's readers...and more?

No, gentle readers, the current Muscle Shoals Civil Service Board has nothing to do with former boards, and even the older incarnations of the board apparently were never advised of the antics of these various police officers. The board members will take into consideration only the case at hand. They will ask if Scoggins is guilty, and he has admitted as much.

What will Scoggins do then? We recently read a TVT post by a Florence attorney stating the shamed officer wouldn't be welcome in that city. Will he be welcome anywhere? It would be difficult to fathom any department wanting him now.

*****

Shootin' fish in a barrel. Yep, that's what shootin' those turtles at Gnat Pond amounts to. If I was ol' David Bradford, I'd start tellin' that one of them gnats out on that pond got in my eye and I couldn't see good enough to take my best shot. Cause when you shoot your own police car people are bound to snicker. Heck, I'm still laughin' and I've never even met the mayor.

Lil' Bubba asked me why anyone would want to shoot a turtle in the first place. I recollect my second cousin Arley used to shoot 'em at Lower Dog Ear Creek. He sold the shells at the Frog Pond flea market and got right smart for 'em too.

Arley saved up the money, moved on up to Spruce Pine, and got a job as a water meter reader. Course he never shot his own car, so that was in his favor. Maybe all of ya'll in Muscle Shoals will have forgotten about that when election time comes up again.

Anyways I think I'll just stick to septic tanks and car motors. I'd hate to have to tell anyone I'd been attacked by one of them dangerous turtles ya'll got in Muscle Shoals.

Bubba Leroy Smuckpucker II
Dog Ear, Alabama

*****

We here at Shoalanda Speaks promise to keep the public informed of any future killer turtle sightings.



Shoalanda

Billy Underwood Fires Back...And How!

 

The following is a letter penned by Colbert County attorney Billy Underwood (pictured) in support of terminated Muscle Shoals police officer Greg Scoggins. Mr. Underwood has both a sense of humor and...ahem, intestinal fortitude. And Bob Hill thought he knew where the bodies were buried...

 January 8, 2013

Civil Service Board
Mayor David Bradford
Police Chief Robert Evans
Muscle Shoals City Hall
Muscle Shoals, Alabama 35661

Dear Sirs;

Former Muscle Shoals Police Chief, now deceased, David Underwood used to tell a funny story about a hard-charging patrolman who took his police vehicle, while on duty, to Gnat Pond on Sixth Street, which was at the time outside the city limits of Muscle Shoals. It seems the Muscle Shoals patrolman was shooting dangerous turtles from the car and somehow, accidentally, shot a hole in his patrol car. The patrolman frantically found someone to repair the hole before he'd have to report to duty the next day. That hard-charging patrolman is now the Mayor of Muscle Shoals, David Bradford.

The Mayor's office and Police Chief allow police officers, in their patrol car while on duty, to take and pick up their children to and from school and run personal errands. They've gone shopping at Walmart and Belle Foods. They've even been used to go as far as Huntsville, Alabama and, in one instance while the patrol car was supposed to be off duty, it was driven to Montgomery, Alabama. The car picked up an individual who had skipped a bond, not in Muscle Shoals, and brought him back to the area. Not one single officer has ever been sanctioned for this use of a Muscle Shoals police car for personal trips.

Then there is the issue of the lawsuit filed against the City of Muscle Shoals alleging that some of its police officers had recklessly entered into a high speed automobile chase which resulted in very serious consequences. The City paid money on this, yet no police officer was ever reprimanded or had charges brought against him. There are instances of sexual misconduct by police officers while on duty, including one with a young lady who was working with the City as a jailer. None of these officers were terminated. There are other instances recently where the City has been sued for some serious misconduct to an arrested person. The City paid up to or possibly even $100,000. The officers involved were not terminated.

This letter says the appropriate discipline was rendered for former officer and current Mayor Bradford. He was not even cited in his personnel file for hunting dangerous turtles at Gnat Pond. Patrolman Greg Scoggins of the Muscle Shoals Police Department is asking that this Civil Service Board have a hearing and, at that time, render punishment that is befitting of the crime. Said punishment should not be his termination as a police officer. Patrolman Bradford, when he was hunting dangerous turtles, had only been on the job some five years. Patrolman Scoggins has been with the Muscle Shoals Police Department over 12 years.

Johnnie Franks and I, who represent Greg Scoggins, look for a full hearing in front of the Civil Service Board which can be open to the public and, if the City wants, names will be given to the Board about each and every incident the attorneys have made reference to in this letter. By this letter, we appeal the decision of Mayor David Bradford within the 14-day time period allowed.

*****

Who's printing tickets for this show?



Shoalanda