Christmas Memories

Christmas Memories

By J.J. Ray

Perhaps this time of year more than most provoke long lost memories of Christmases past. Though I did not participate in “Black Friday,” my wife did punish me severely the day after by going to Walmart. She shopped and I chose the book department. Scanning the best sellers, I noticed a very large thin book staring up at me from the bottom shelf. It was an illustrated “The Night before Christmas” originally penned as "A Visit from St. Nicholas" and authored by Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston Jr. depending on whom you believe.

Some years ago, I was stuck in Hammond, Louisiana. because of an ice storm that passed through the south. After spending what seemed an eternity at a truck stop, reading that book in particular I finally summoned enough courage to try to get home for Christmas.

The journey was perilous but I managed to get behind a UPS truck and we talked on the CB radio all the way to Tuscaloosa. Exhausted because of the overnight trek I stopped at a large truck stop there. Walking into the restaurant it was almost empty save one wretched looking soul sitting at the counter.

Sitting down a chair away from him, I ordered some coffee. He was banged up and bruised. Curiosity got the best of me so I asked him what happened. The poor soul explained that he was from Australia and was on a walk-about through the US when some kids mugged him. He looked hungry and his hands were shaking so I bought him some breakfast and we talked about Australia for a while. The meal finished he said he had to be on his way. Reaching into my pocket, I gave him all the cash I had. This brought a tear to his eye and mine also.

Walking out I stopped to pay the tab when I decided to give him some more money. I took it off my credit card and returned to hand it to him. Looking around I could not see him. After all, we were the only two customers in the place and there was no way he could get passed me to exit. The server looked puzzled when I inquired about him saying, “There was no one there but me”. I ran outside but there was no one there. Puzzled, I once more questioned the server and explained his physical appearance; she replied, “I had been her only breakfast customer that morning”.

Now over the years of traveling which have been many this is the strangest experience I ever had and the most rewarding There is no way to explain the feeling I received when we shook hands good bye. It was like a peace I had never known before. The rest of the trip went on without any problem even though the roads were icy and treacherous. My wife had told me we had no power but that did not matter. All I could think about was that poor soul all alone and hurting or was he?

Each Christmas my thoughts return to that Christmas Eve and I wonder about him. Was he real, was he a spirit or an angel I needed desperately that particular Christmas? Whenever I am down my thoughts return to that morning and the present he gave to me. That gift was far greater than any amount of cash I could have given him. I have kept it in my heart all these years.

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Have any of us entertained angels unaware? Perhaps many of us have and remain oblivious as to the good we have done--or perhaps the damage to our hearts if we've failed.

Thanks so much to J.J. for sharing this beautiful story of Christmas. Whether those we meet in need are angels or not, let's remember to consider the possibility.


Shoalanda

Saving Santa

Saving Santa

By J.J. Ray

Local attorney and Zip City resident Janice Keeton has agreed to represent Santa. He appeared before Republican Judge Carol Medley this morning. Judge Medley set bond at $100.00, which was immediately posted by some local citizens. Sheriff Ronnie Willis was chided for using the combined SWAT Teams from Muscle Shoals and Florence to affect the arrest as they were training in the Zip City community.

The eight reindeer have been placed in protective custody and have gone on an apparent hunger strike because of the loss of their owner. Keeton referred to the arrest of the portly old soul as, “A travesty of justice by Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer and nothing more than headline grabbing by Chris Smith”. Sheriff Willis had no comment at this time as he was still yawning.

Judge Medley has ordered a competency hearing for the purported Santa and is going to settle the case before Christmas Eve. District Attorney Chris Connolly notified the press that he would personally undertake the prosecution of this case. He stated in an interview that, “The county and nation has to be protected form usurpers like this because in my opinion there is no such person as Santa Claus and on top of that he is probably a Republican. I am sure the Attorney General Eric Holder will send some help down from Washington. There is also a possibility that this person could be an 'Illegal Alien'”.

Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer stated in an interview that it was her sworn duty to protect the county from trash like this. Apparently the SWAT team could not locate any reflective cones to put around the sleigh as Commissioner Fulmer had ordered them locked up to keep them away from the EMA director lest he once again use them for something other than county business.

One of the arresting officers said at the scene, “This was a huge and smelly mess”, speaking of the debris left by the eight reindeer. He also stated that he could not understand the constant smile on the face of Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer as the cuffs were placed on Santa. He related the smile as “Grinch Like”.

Here’s hoping that Attorney Keeton can affect a resolution of this case soon as the days are getting short before Christmas Eve. I will report from the Trial as it progresses.

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There seems to be several new Christmas songs out this year. Here are some we predict will become classics:

Please Unwrap Me, Santa by Thelma & the Thongs

Viagra on the Niagara by Chuck Lansdell with backup by Hugh Hefner

Oh, Traffic Cone, Oh, Traffic Cone by Rhea & the Commissioners

*****

It's going to be cold for the next few days; please remember to bring in your pets or provide them with warm bedding and drinkable water.


Shoalanda

Santa Arrested in Lauderdale County

Zip City: Reports of an illegally parked red and white sleigh in northern Lauderdale County brought Commissioner Rhea Tays Michael Fulmer and County Attorney Chris Smith out in the cold early this morning. While investigating the case of felony parking, the two also discovered eight cases of animal cruelty.

A reluctant and sleepy Sheriff Ronnie Willis arrested the sleigh's portly owner, an elderly man with no known local address. He's currently being held without bail in the Florence-Lauderdale Detention Center.

Fulmer and Smith immediately called a press conference to announce this was only the tip of the north polar iceberg. Sources say we can expect the arrest of approximately one hundred elves before the end of the month.

Fulmer and Smith's Republican opposition in the 2012 county elections have announced their own investigation into the matter, stating that the arrest serves no purpose in deterring county crime. Privately they have also suggested there may not be a Christmas for anyone under the age of ten this year.

When asked about this possible repercussion of the arrest and subsequent impoundment of the sleigh, both Fulmer and Smith referred all questions to a furry green man in the company of a small dog with antlers. More on this as it develops.

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Cherokee: The Cherokee Lions Club served almost 150 guests at its annual Breakfast with Santa. Congratulations to all these Lions and Lionettes for a job well done.

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The Shoals: Be aware of a new phone scam similar to the one involving Listerhill Credit Union last year. The current phone calls involve SunTrust bank and have been traced to Honduras. SunTrust is aware of this new scam, but if you should receive a call purporting to be from another institution, be sure to report it to the bank or credit union referenced.

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If you've had problems viewing the new Internet magazine The Connection, these glitches should now be taken care of. Part II in their investigative report on Rhea Fulmer's ethics complaint against George Grabryan is scheduled for early in the week. We look forward to their in depth look into what has become a misuse of both county time and state resources.


Shoalanda

On the Same Page? We're Not Even in the Same Century...

The above scene depicts Cherokee in the 1890s. Unfortunately, judging from recent events in that small Colbert County town, we're unsure how much has changed since then.

The Facebook site Public Meetings of Cherokee, Alabama is now up and running with video from not only council meetings, but also from library and water board meetings. We urge anyone interested in Cherokee's future to become a fan of this site, as well as a regular visitor. Not everyone can schedule time to attend these important meetings, but now they can keep abreast of these events with their own eyes and ears--all thanks to a conscientious Cherokee videographer.

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Thanks to Joseph Robert Tully for contacting us concerning Anderson's new police chief. Since May, Karla McGee has been in charge of this East Lauderdale town's police department. McGee is a former police chief for Waterloo. Sources say Chief McGee is attempting to rebuild the town's police department and has made great progress since problems first came to light last February.

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Congratulations to Deshler for once again making it to the State Playoffs! Yes, we're disappointed they didn't win, but just making the finals once again is a major achievement--something our local sportswriters seem to have lost sight of. Let's hope they know that the entire city of Tuscumbia is proud of their team.


Shoalanda

Who's Police Chief in Anderson?

An article in today's TimesDaily lists Mark Bowers as the former police chief of the small Lauderdale town of Anderson. Last February, the Anderson town council terminated the entire reserve force and asked for Bowers' resignation. Bowers refused, and we have neither heard nor read more on the situation until today.

Apparently Bowers left Anderson last May to join the Hanceville police force; however, online records still list Bowers as chief of the small town. Anderson has a population of around 350, with an unemployment rate of over 10%. Perhaps this position is still unfilled?

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Congratulations to Shoals recording artist Gary Nichols on his new album. The Way We Do it Down South will be released on December 7th and features songs by various local writers including John Paul White.

If you haven't yet heard Gary, here's a link to his MySpace page: Gary Nichols MySpace Music

We think you'll enjoy these samples, but they are only samples. What better Christmas gift than a complete album by Gary?

*****

Remember the Majestic Theatre in Florence? Link




Shoalanda

What to Give for Christmas? A Board Membership

Perhaps we should have called today's blog: Where is the RSA when you need it? That venerable Alabama organization has saved the Renaissance Tower and is attempting to save the rail car plant in Barton (we're not holding our breath). Perhaps Dr. David Bronner's team could breathe new life into the Alabama Music Hall of Fame in Tuscumbia. Did we say "new life?" Perhaps we should strike out the word new, since the twenty year-old endeavor has never had any real life from the get-go.

Now, the HOF board has formed a foundation in order to drum up financial support for this white elephant. In the past we had felt such an organization would serve only one purpose--to get back at the Friends of the Hall of Fame over whom the HOF board had no control, but apparently this newly formed foundation will have a second, perhaps even greater purpose.

Yes, according to HOF board member Buel Springer in today's TimesDaily:

“We certainly would like to find additional board members who also would be donors,” Springer said.

So, there it is, in black and white; you can buy a place on this board. Just imagine if Bubba Leroy Smuckpucker II or Trixie LaTour the local strip club owner are the only ones to donate. Yes, the foundation is private, so it may appoint anyone it wishes. Just remember, it can also take those donations of yours and buy old 45s with which to don the rest room walls if that's what they choose. Ah, we here in Alabama do have an awesomely warped way of doing things.

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Cherokee Clarifications:

Yesterday's blog featured a poster advertising "Breakfast with Santa," an event being held by the Cherokee Lions Club. Beneath the ad, we offered a humorous poem inspired by the vision of ol' St. Nick actually visiting the small Colbert County town. The poem had absolutely no connection to the Cherokee Lions Club. The Lions Club is a worldwide organization that supports many charities, most notably organizations designed to assist the blind. We hope everyone in the Cherokee area will turn out Saturday at 9:00 a.m. to offer support to Santa and the Lions Club.

We have recently published some blogs featuring Crystal Sutton Huddleston, the former Colbert 911 office manager who has been dismissed over charges of theft. In one recent column, we stated that according to her Facebook page, Huddleston had become a partner in a local Cherokee business. According to the business's owner, Ms. Huddleston does work there, but is not a partner. Also, the business should not be considered that new, since it was begun 2008. We're happy to offer the correct information concerning Ms. Huddleson's relationship to this business.

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Work for the Coffee Health Group and have problems with the new insurance? Contact us. We've already had several employees email us with their concerns about this change in insurance coverage. Specifically, we would like to know how this change has affected you financially. We will, as always, publish these comments anonymously.


Shoalanda

Santa Comes to Cherokee

*****

There was no warning when he came to town;
Chuck was at the ER, and the 3G was down.
The Council was at BK, and the line was long;
Thelma was at home, hanging up her thong.

Santa looked around and shook his head;
Even People's Drugs was empty--the town was dead.
He knew they'd been naughty, knew all their ways;
How could he make it better? He'd give them Rhea Tays!

Shoalanda