How Will City Enforce UNA Parking?

This is one area in which we commend Florence City Council President Dick Jordan. How will the city handle students parking for downtown classes?

Given the length of the classes, a student could possibly park in a metered space and not avail themselves of the parking deck. No one would be the wiser, but anyone seeking to park for lunch at Rosie's, Trowbridges, or the new barbecue eatery would be left to walk quite a distance...assuming they didn't just give up and head out to the Boulevard.

As for campus parking? It's going to be a long wait for those 400 new spaces.

*****

Update on mysterious rig at the Sheffield Recreation Center: It apparently belongs to a city maintenance employee who has his own lawn business on the side. Hmmmm. As we all know, Sheffield would not be the first city to give preferential treatment of this nature to employees.



Shoalanda

How About $11.00 an Hour to Risk Your Life?

After we published our blog on local wages, we received this from Tuscumbia Police Chief Tony Logan:

A man or woman with a 4 year degree and not academy certified starts at my department for $11.01 per hour. Once certified that person goes to $11.37 per hour. After 5 years with my department and a 4 year degree that officer makes $11.97 per hour for the next 10 years when they receive a $600 per year increase and will retire at that rate. The only way they move from that rate of pay is to be promoted which opportunities are limited by budgeted positions or cost of living raises which none of Tuscumbia's employees have received in the last 3 years. A classic example is a current Captain in with my department with 27 years with the City makes $14.37 per hour and has a 4 year degree.

I applaud Sheriff Singleton is his efforts to call out salary shortcomings for the men and women in uniform who put their lives on the line every day to keep the Shoals one of the safest areas in the state and the southeast. He and I talk on a regular basis of ways to try and improve the pay for our officers.

Thanks for keeping important concerns in the public eye!

We're going to add that Chief Logan has recently required his department to obtain supplemental training on professional ethics. We feel 99% of those who serve start out to help the community. Unfortunately, many become jaded or even, pardon the analogy, turn to the dark side. Many thanks to all those who hang in there.



Shoalanda

Just What Is a Good Wage?

Someone posted to the TD's “You Said It” site that $12.00 an hour was a good wage. Really? How sad is that? Perhaps even sadder is that we know some with multiple college degrees who make little more than that.

Those college degrees? We understand the UNA schools of teaching and nursing are required to tell applicants that this area has too many in these fields already. MBAs? We hear a dime a dozen.

Is our local problem the lack of an Interstate? Surely there's more than one problem that causes the economic starvation of the Shoals. Wait...we hear help is coming.

Yes, we understand DreamVision is again on the move. There's even a new division—PGC Entertainment under the direction of Bryan Robinson of Killen. Thank goodness, we're all saved.

So we'll have our park by 2019? Well, in case you get tired of waiting, Shoalanda still has a few ground floor investments open in her hoverboard project.



Shoalanda

Lurid Florence Crime?

A local news site that we highly recommend states it doesn't publish lurid news. As for our political blog, we have to ask how politics in this state can be anything but lurid?

However, we've recently read some lurid crime news from the city of Florence that will blow your socks off. Where is it published? In No'Ala of all places. Our friend Allen Tomlinson has outdone himself in this piece of investigative journalism that we dare you not to enjoy.

You can find Tomlinson's expose' in the September/October issue of his magazine. Be sure to pick up a copy before they're all sold out.

*****

Speaking of news, does our blog not show up in your regular FB news feed? Several readers have commented on this issue. We're looking into it, but in the interim you may have our blogs e-mailed to you as soon as they're published. Look to our left sidebar to register your address.

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The white-out scandal of 2015: A reader has written to complain that the Lauderdale Circuit Court Clerk's office is taking time away from more pressing business when it whites out the current clerk's last name—Hibbett.

We're not sure how much time this would take, but our question upon hearing this news relates to the timing. Unless the now very public divorce has been finalized, isn't this just a little premature?



Shoalanda

Those Seven Pesky Words

We don't like to ban readers. No, really, we don't; however, when they continue to use profane and vulgar language we do. We recently banned the "non-girlfriend" of a man charged with manslaughter, but often we receive comments on much less heated issues which use these words.

One thing that astounded us a few months ago was the reaction of a man who apparently had worked in law enforcement for at least 20 year who didn't realize a word he had used was "dirty." That's a little frightening not only because he may be using this word around those who are actually offended by it, but also because he's never heard George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words routine. How culturally deprived is he?

We will delete comments with a few other words not on the list of seven, but we do try to give the poster a chance to resend the comment in an amended form. What if we leave a blog or Facebook intact with such a lesser "dirty word?" That must mean the comment is so on the mark that we hate to delete for such a small infraction...in other words, you got it that way.

*****

We received a few comments on our Florence animal shelter guest blog. We welcome more comments from those who have actually worked there. No place of that nature is perfect, but such antics are why we support HASRA. You can be sure your donation is put to the correct use at that wonderful private shelter.

*****

We also had a few comments about the 8 year & 8 month sentence for Candace Irons. One reader wanted to know what kind of sentence her daughter Brady could expect. First, she could be found not guilty, but if she is found guilty, her charges were much more severe and she had quite a few more prior arrests than her mother. So we would say it won't be a lenient sentence even if the law allowed for one.



Shoalanda

Florence Animal Shelter Problems?

We have received an interesting guest blog. We have no knowledge of the situations enumerated here; we happily publish comments and rebuttals:

Guest Blog:

I volunteered for a short time at the Animal Shelter back when HASRA was still running the place.  The reason for my short service:

• Employee’s never seemed to do any work.  Volunteer’s cleaned, exercised, feed animals, cleaned/maintained facilities indoor and outdoor pens.  Rarely did employee’s have contact with animals other then the occasional strays they picked up (majority of animals dropped off in outside pens after hours, which should be illegal).
• Volunteer’s controlled what happened to animals, there was no interest in reuniting “desirable” strays with owners, or, letting “desirable” animals be adopted.  All “desirable” dogs were sent immediately to foster homes and transported out of state ASAP to various dog brokers (aka highest bidder, Badass Dogs in Brooklyn pays up to $300.00 depending on breed, and they adopt them out for $450.00).   On two separate occasions, I tried adopting dogs when they were brought into the shelter, but both times told  they had already been promised to Badass Dogs.
• Donated food, crates, medicine, and supplies obtained for the shelter animals by the volunteers, were routinely taken home (stolen) by shelter employees.

I could go on and on, but I wrote you this email to find out if you know why, Florence Animal Shelter truck stays parked in Killen at, Vinnie Grosso’ business Arx Mortis?  I’m not talking about hours shelter is closed, but during the week and hours of shelters operation. 

 

*****

As always, we want what's best for the shelter animals. Let us hear your opinions.

Shoalanda

DreamVision Becomes a Nightmare?

Local self-proclaimed financial wizard Bryan Robinson has reiterated that DreamVision will be making a big announcement by the end of the year. Does anyone want to hold their breath? Our question is what Robinson and others get out of this. How long can the public be put off? How long until there is a possible securities violation? No, we're certainly not accusing Mr. Robinson or anyone else of anything illegal...just dumb; however, some people may not be that generous.

*****

Hershel Dale Graham still resides in the Kilby Infirmary in Montgomery. Sources say he is to be released on his approved medical furlough shortly. What! He's not dead yet, dying invalid that he is? We are at a total loss that the public has not been more vocal in opposing this, yet they call for vigilante justice on a girl who stabbed another young teen who had hit her with a pan even having a parole hearing.

*****

It's almost October, and it's going to be a very big month. No, not just because we'll bring you all those versions of Sleepy Hollow from Youtube, but because three of those serving time in Amanda Taylor's death will be released, and John Wesley Akin and Brady Ann Irons will be facing a trial for drug trafficking. Any comments on the three now serving time in the Taylor case need to be made now before the trio become private citizens.



Shoalanda

Some Well-Deserved Awards

The “Prince Will Biiiiite You!” Award goes to the Russellville city council which stated they were unsure about passing an animal control law since that might necessitate having to construct an animal shelter or “pound.”

The “You Just Know He's a Shyster” award goes to attorney Chris Childers who claimed Theodore Allen Vaughn had been found innocent of charges against him. If Vaughn was found “innocent,” he would be the first person in U.S. history to have been so. Let's see....does Childers think the pubic is that uneducated or did he sleep through three years of law school?

The “You Gotta Be Kiddin' Us” award is a tie. Shannon Johnson states he's simply misunderstood, and Christy Scott claims she had ineffective council. For those who might not remember, the
Russellville mother's attorney was Robert Tuten of Huntsville—he's almost as good as our friend Billy and costs even more.

The “Really?” award goes to the mother of Arabella Green. After her boyfriend accepted a plea deal allowing him to serve only one year in the death of their daughter, several wrote us that Kayla Cole knew nothing about it. We found that just a little odd. Now, she's a no-show at the sentencing of Justin Matthew Green. In fact, only Arabella's grandmother bothered to write a victim impact statement. BTW, Green says he thinks about the dead child every day. Big of him, isn't it?



Shoalanda

Who's Going to Hire Justin Matthew Green?

So Justin Matthew Green, father to dead child Arabella Green, will spend his 12 months of punishment in community corrections. Who will hire him?

We hate to be harbinger of bad news, but companies actually get federal paybacks for hiring such people, who work for them for minimum wage. Nice, huh?

We would add who will date him, but we already know that.

If any of the public should see Green anywhere other than work during his sentence, be sure to report it. He doesn't deserve any nooners where he can make new babies to torture.

*****

Need our readers' help: Who is familiar with a book set in Florence, probably published about 20 years ago, which showcased a major character simply called "the Chief?"



Shoalanda

Joshua Miller: We're Calling You Out!

Joshua Miller of Florence has written to the TimesDaily, aka Totally Decatur, and questioned Lauderdale Probate Judge Will Motlow's Christianity. We have some words for Miller.

First, have you questioned Judge Motlow's stance on the issuance of marriage licenses to same-sex couples by contacting him personally? If you haven't why did you decide to write to the TD before you did so?

Second, here's the real kicker, Miller. Why are you suddenly upset by the issuance of licenses to gay couples when for years all Alabama probate offices have issued these same licenses to divorced individuals without asking if they have a New Testament grounds for divorce? For those who may not be Bible scholars, the only grounds for remarriage after a divorce is adultery.

We really want an answer to that question, Miller. Our e-mail addy is Shoalanda.Speaks@gmail.com. We eagerly await your finite wisdom on this subject.

*****

Hi, Will. We just stepped into your business. Well, you know how we are. Hope you're having a great day, and just remember to disregard comments from those with an IQ of 12 or less.



Shoalanda

Avoiding the Appearance of Impropriety

During the last election we had several to ask if it were illegal for a married couple to act as police chief and only magistrate/clerk for the same town. We could not find any laws against that situation except for the state of West Virginia. That state said the law was to avoid the appearance of impropriety.

Certainly many think that at least that appearance has cropped up in the city of Florence. Why?

1. Elizabeth (Libby) Stockard Watts Jordan was the first...and last...Director of Cultural Tourism in Florence. Why? Was she just so good at her job that, when she left it, no one could replace her?

2. Now Ms. Jordan will be leaving as the first Director of the Rosenbaum Home. Has this job now been posted? Will it be posted to current employees only, or will even Canadians get a crack at it?

3. One of our regular readers has indicated that Ms. Jordan was the most qualified to apply. We don't doubt that's true, but the job was never opened to applicants outside current employees. Only four
besides Libby applied.

4. When Libby was hired for the Rosenbaum position, at least one of the 29 other applicants sued the city. Will there be lawsuits now over this position?

5. Dick Jordan's brother-in-law was also hired within the last year to fill a newly created post. He coordinates...projects...but never seems to report any of the statuses of these projects, at least not to the
public who are, after all, paying his salary.

*****

We regret not being able to publish some of the comments we've received on Ms. Jordan's recent hiring, but unfortunately, funny as they were, they could have been considered libelous. Feel free to reword and send again.

*****

News from the City of Florence? That's the title of a regular newsletter that may be found linked at several sites. Judging by the content, Florence should change it's name to Utopia...or Candyland. Surely there's some news from Florence that has some pith to it? Any intelligent adult realizes that projects are delayed for various reasons, that lack of money derails some plans, etc. Why not report the truth? Why does Florence make Gov. Bentley look forthcoming?



Shoalanda

Not All Sex Crimes (at UNA) Are Violent

The recent survey conducted by the University of North Alabama has rightly raised some interesting questions. Does alcohol exacerbate sex crimes? Certainly.

However, while violent rape is certainly the worst of sex crimes, we should remember that any unwanted sexual advances are still sexual abuse. A woman will usually not report unwanted fondling, but it's still a low-ranking form of sexual assault. Oh, wait, we know...it was just an accident.

Perhaps the most disturbing part of this survey is that faculty and staff are involved in approximately one out of 20 crimes reported. It's much easier to report in an anonymous survey, but these crimes need to be reported to campus police. We're not holding our breath until a UNA version of Bill Cosby is uncovered.

*****

Now a word about Dr. William Cale and his tenure at UNA. Our recent blog about some odd statement by veep Andrew Luna was not intended to cast any dispersions on Dr. Cale. We did not always agree with his decisions, but we certainly thought he was more than competent.

Quick—if you're drowning in the Tennessee River would you refuse a life preserver thrown by serial killer John Wayne Gacy. We doubt it. That's basically the analogy a UNA staff member presented to us when Dr. Cale became bedfellows with Zing Zang Zung. UNA needed money desperately, and the high-ranking Chinese Communist had offered to provide it.

As we said earlier, it's hard to rudder the university ship when you're having to bale water to keep from drowning in debt. Certainly Dr. Cale saw the proposed partnership as a means to keep the good ship afloat. Walk a mile in his shoes and all that.

That doesn't mean we would have done the same thing; we hope we would not have. Now we have to ask just how much has UNA gained...or lost...in this alliance that quickly went nowhere.

Yes, we'd like to see exact figures. We're betting UNA came out in the red on the deal. Too bad more people didn't listen to Mr. Sam Pendleton.



Shoalanda

Libby Jordan? Who Woulda Thunk It?

Libby Watts Jordan, third wife of Florence City Councilman Dick Jordan, is the new director of Arts & Museums in that city. That is all. In more shocking news, a bat child was found in a Colbert County cave. Bring on the comments.

*****

Todd Nix knows which side of the bread boasts the butter.

*****

Now for some real news. Anyone read what UNA planning director Andrew Luna said about UNA having a record enrollment? He listed three reasons and one was the new prexy. Well, Kenneth Kitts does have that Donald Trump hair thing going on.

Perhaps Kitts will be able to rudder the ship and bale at the same time--something William Cale was not able to do; however, we are still at a loss as to why Cale's departure should have helped the university when all other things remain equal.

Maybe Kittsy will do well to keep a close eye on Andrew "Iago" Luna. He obviously has a problem with his ability to do the pretty when confronted with reporters.



Shoalanda

Was Alabama Supercomputer Host Hacked?

We received a message from one of our bloggers who works in a local school system that the Alabama Supercomputer had been hacked earlier. Many, many systems in the state were affected.

Those we've spoken with at various government agencies have not used the word “hacked,” but have simply said that the system was down and no more info was forthcoming. As we write this, it has been back up for some time.

We have no idea what personal information could have been obtained, but if you had a warrant for murder in Colbert County and were stopped in Lauderdale for a traffic violation, it was your lucky day. We actually heard one woman rejoicing over her close call.

Want to know more? So did we; however, there's nothing being published. Why? We did find where a non-profit organization in Leeds, Alabama, had been hacked last Friday by an organization claiming to be...ISIS.

The FBI investigated the hacking and stated about 4K random sites had been recently hacked by the same group, whoever they really are. Well, that's encouraging. Perhaps the attack on the state computer system was in response to the state's new budget?



Shoalanda

Memo to Brooklyn's Mother & Other Victims' Families

First, make no mistake, Autumn Wood did not deserve parole. She took a life and will give 42 months of her life in exchange. Not quite a fair trade.

However, over and over and OVER we see families state that certain individuals agreed to a serve a certain amount of time. We don't know if these individuals are just obtuse, or if the DA's office does not explain these sentences to them. Not even counting parole, of the 126 months Miss Wood was sentenced to, she will serve only 42 if she maintains good behavior. Her release date is 2017.

*****

Alison Stanfield should be an inspiration to all young females. Learn all you can, work as hard as you can, give it your all...and someday you too can win an award while being replaced by a Canadian.

Shoalanda

Prince Takes a Bite out of Dave Smith's Backside

A guest blog:

Let me introduce myself, I'm Prince, a Canine American. My ancestors have lived in the Shoals since 1955—that's a lotta dog years. I'm not too proud to say that some of my people were once incarcerated in what Dave Smith calls a “dog pound.” Can I call him a “Negro?” Arf! Let's see how he likes that. He's sure no "Sam Pendleton."

I have news for Smith. The shelter houses cats, bunnies, birds, and sometimes even horses and other cattle. How about that, Mr. Smith? Sure, some animals are strays and might even be “impounded,” but it's not a dog pound. You're showing your vast ignorance and even painting all black people with the same brush as uncaring about the lesser of us.

Now my floppy ears keep hearing that the current choice for the site floods. Maybe it does; let's hear from someone with some real knowledge of it.

By the by, I was once incarcerated for biting the mail carrier. My family bailed me out pretty quick and took me to obedience school. Now they've told me I can feel free to bite any idiots on the city council. They're helping me make my list.



Prince

Florence City Council Elections?

Coming soon to a voting booth near you: local elections. In Florence, Blake Edwards and Dave Smith already have opponents. More will be coming out of the woodwork shortly...we hope.

Blake Edwards has shown himself to be financially irresponsible and Dave Smith has shown himself to be a card sharp—in other words, he easily plays the race card.

Let's hope the city can field a new group of candidates who actually have common sense. Oh, okay, that was a little too much to ask; how about actually care about the welfare of Florence?

*****

Over the past few months, we've taken a beating over alleged criticism of Muscle Shoals. Approximately 90% of our blogs on that city have been written by Muscle Shoals citizens. Now we'd like to again compliment that city.

We have occasion to visit Muscle Shoals about twice a month. We've never seen a parking problem at any schools and understand the board had just provided more parking for the high school. UNA could learn much from this.

*****

Speaking of unfair criticism, a reader suggested we didn't appreciate truck drivers. Our recent query about parking in Sheffield was sent by a faithful reader. We happily post questions from our readers; that has nothing to do with our personal feelings on any subject.

Our personal opinion on this situation would be that the City of Sheffield might be providing a free service to one individual, a service it can't provide to all. In this case it would be wrong even if it were giving Mother Theresa a free spot to park each night.

*****

We see Kyle Adcock is in the slammer until his trial in January. Good. Wonder whatever happened to his fiancee'?



Shoalanda

What Is the “Truth” of the Justin Green Plea Deal?

Our blog on the misdemeanor plea for Justin Matthew Green certainly brought some differing opinions, some new “information,” and some vulgar language. What else is new?

First, vulgar language: Sorry, Justin's “friend who's only a friend,” if you use filthy and vulgar words, it says a lot about you. It also gets you banned. As for “journalism,” no one here has ever claimed any
degrees in journalism, but among those who toil here, we do have some heavy-hitting degrees. Our blog is opinion...we let you offer yours if you can keep it clean, but apparently you can't. Your language doesn't speak well for either you or Green.

Second, for those who said Arabella's maternal family didn't know about the plea, ADA Will Powell says he discussed it with them. Mr. Powell is running for office, so some of these claims may be dirty
pool, but what if the dead child's mother really didn't know?

Miss Cole may contact the judge; she also may offer a victim impact statement at sentencing. We suggest she requests Green isn't allowed into the community corrections program. If Andrew Scott can obtain enough oxycodone to kill a horse, just think what mischief Justin Green could get into.

No work release means no immediate repayment of court fees, etc. by Green, but we believe it's in the community's interest to make sure he remains in a secure lock-up for the duration of his sentence.

*****

Does the proposed animal shelter property on Fairground Road flood? A reader tells us it does.

Another reader has criticized Mayor Mickey Haddock for doing nothing...what he does best, according to our writer. Perhaps he could delegate the search to someone in city government whose work load is super light...oh, maybe Steve Eason.



Shoalanda

Who Is Now Holding Up the New Shelter?

James Bankston has suggested a “neutral site” for the new animal shelter. Neutral? We had no idea it was a war. Perhaps Mr. Bankston could remove himself to the Korean DMZ? It's the closest neutral site we can think of.

*****

Speaking of the animal shelter, the Tennessee Street beautification project isn't holding it up. Two different projects with two different budgets. Period.

It seems Florence City Councilman Dave Smith is helping James Bankston and his cronies to hold up the project. Let's be sure to thank Smith when the next election rolls around. He already has one announced opponent.

*****

A guest blog:

Sheffield has a Street Department. Well, don't they? One should not be criticized for asking such a question seeing as how Sheffield's streets rival only those of Tuscumbia with regards to disrepair. Pot holes aside, the streets and alleyways of Sheffield are in deplorable condition. Many of the alleyways remain impassable to the police and utility department vehicles. Among other things, sections of 31st Street, 32nd Street and Annapolis Avenue are rapidly disappearing due to trees that need pruned and overgrown right-of-ways. Speed Zone, STOP, and School Zone signs are either damaged, missing, or are obscured by the previously mentioned trees and brush. One would think, and rightly so, that such needed maintenance would be 'routine'. One would think........



Shoalanda

Green Gets Only One Year in Daughter's Death?

He said/she said/the kids said! Muddied waters, even with forensic evidence to the contrary, don't make a good case. So now Arabella's mother has accepted a plea from her one-time live-in love, the dead child's biological father.

While not as sad as the child's death, it's disturbing that we the tax payers were charged for extra forensic investigations ordered by Justin Matthew Green's defense. Ideally, Green will one day repay all court costs, but this is never a given.

*****

So high-ranking Chinese Communist official Zing Zang Zung is the only owner of record for what was once Florence Golf & Country Club? And he has “rebuffed” the request of Florence to purchase this parcel for which the he has no actual use now...or ever?

Assuming Robert Palmer of the TimesDaily actually knows what the word “rebuff” means, the Chinese businessman said no in a rude, abrupt manner. Why does that not surprise us?

Zing Zang Zung wanted revenge on the city, so no animal shelter at the old country club. James Bankston and cronies see racial discrimination everywhere, so no animal shelter on Fairground Road?

We say let Bankston pony up the money for a lawsuit. We'll supply the popcorn.



Shoalanda

Sheffield?/Jim Bankston

We've been asked why a private tractor-trailer rig is allowed to park at night in the Sheffield community center parking lot. We have no idea. Comments welcome.

*****

Just for the record, John Ed Dearman of the Flor-Ala, the O'Neal Bridge does not join Muscle Shoals and Florence. Its northern end lies in Florence, while its southern terminus lies in Sheffield.

*****

Moving on the new animal shelter: How many have noticed a “smell” at the current one? No one? That's what we thought. How about a horse pasture? Yep, there's one there usually.

We're going to give Jim Bankston the benefit of the doubt that he has an iota of common sense. So, let's see, Mr. Bankston, you think the shelter will bring in excess traffic, but commercial development
won't? Cancel that benefit.

Our opinion: Mr. Bankston, you're full of what's in the horse pasture!

Shoalanda

The Farmer, the Preacher, & the Shotgun (A True Story)

Yesterday's news that Charles Kyle Adcock, currently under indictment for rape in Colbert County, had been hired to work with youth at a Texas church reminded us of a nearby event from many years ago:

A farmer in Winston County, or thereabouts, retired for the night. Safely tucked inside an adjacent bedroom was his beautiful teenage daughter, tucked in his own bed was his wife, and tucked under his bed? You guessed it—his faithful shotgun. The farmer had barely closed his eyes when he heard a muffled scream come from his daughter's room.

He immediately secured the shotgun and ran next door where he found a man, silhouetted in shadow, standing with his hand over his daughter's mouth. The farmer called for his wife to notify the sheriff's deputies as he pointed the gun at the now retreating intruder. Before the would be rapist could exit via the window through which he had entered, the farmer took aim and shot. He added paramedics to the list his wife needed to call.

Upon the arrival of medical personnel, the farmer encountered a young man whom he knew from church. They conversed over and around the intruder who lay on his stomach, still in relative darkness. Finally the deviant was secured to the gurney and taken to a local hospital followed by the law...and the father, mother, and daughter, this being Winston County where citizens were very involved.

As the young paramedic assisted in transferring the wounded intruder to an exam table, he saw the man's face for the first time, as did the father. Almost in unison, they exclaimed, “It's Bro. John!”

Yes, the would-be attacker was their pulpit minister. Sad, isn't it? We recently spoke with a gentleman, oddly enough from the same area as the errant minister. This very learned individual stated the highest percentage of sex crimes are committed under the guise of religion/ministry. We have not attempted to verify this, but if true, it's a horrible reality.

While a sad commentary, if churches today do not check the background of new hires, they are leaving themselves open to all sorts of lawsuits.

Charles Kyle Adcock

We understand Adcock's trial is still months away.



Shoalanda

The New Animal Shelter is Sexist!

A guest blog:

I and my group of feminazis are extremely disappointed in the City of Florence selecting such a sexist site for its new animal shelter. 

Let's look at it:

First, it's just off Chisholm Road—that's named for a MAN!

Second, the current owner is listed as the estate of a MAN!

Third, the property is adjacent to a ball park where 90% the teams are composed of MEN!

Fourth, the entire city council is composed of MEN!

I could go on, but you get the idea. Not since Lewis died have I been this upset. Sisters, let us unite to fight this injustice!

Ms. Wanda Fribish

Thank You, Shoals Labor!

Shoalanda

Labor Day Beauty Contest 2015

Yes, it's that time of year again. Local union halls are dusting off their more lovely card-holding members and getting them ready for this annual event. This year may prove to be special since the rules have been modified to require entrants to assemble their own costumes from work-related items. Let's take a look at this year's field:

1. Pittipat Pettigrew—Representing the Sanitation Workers of North Alabama, Pittipat will wear a creation composed entirely of used cocktail napkins rescued from the dumpster behind On the Rocks.
Officials are fervently praying it won't rain.

2. Leola Sandusky—Leola will represent the Recycling Union while wearing a chainmail costume manufactured from aluminum can tabs. As of Sunday, Leola wasn't a definite entry since she had come up short of tabs and was forced to consume several cases of beer in order to complete her costume.

3. Cassie Carnegie—Representing the Tourism Union, Cassie's outfit will be composed entirely of road maps discarded due to their Confederate battle flag artwork. Cassie is a dark horse since she's
not able to prove U.S. citizenship. The Tourism Union is threatening to move its offices to Canada if officials disqualify Carnegie.

4. Amelia Cornbloom—Representing the Cemetery Workers' Union, Amelia states she has manufactured her contest attire from ribbons discarded with floral debris. Showing spunk, Amelia will also carry a sharp shovel to aid in disposing of the much dreaded political rhetoric usually present at these events.

5. Cilla Frumpmeyer—Representing the Animal Shelter Workers of Northwest Alabama, Cilla has knitted her own bathing suit from shed fur. After completing her creation, Cilla found that she had enough left to crochet dunce hats for Florence City Council members.

We eagerly await this end-of-summer bash...also known as the start of the political season. Let us pray.



Shoalanda

Return to WAG Central

If you're not a sports fan, you may not know that the acronym WAG refers to “Wives & Girlfriends.” This being Alabama we're not too much into WAGs with the exception of those who may date/marry select college quarterbacks. That's okay—we make up for it with all the news WAGs of politicians generate.

From a reader: Whats the big deal, while mayor, Jordan circumvented state bid laws letting contracts to Libbylewinsky's employer, Tomlinson/Sims in an effort to woo her, nobody raised an eyebrow. When she got her current job nobody raised an eyebrow, even though she has no formal education in art history, public history, business, or education. By the way, these are the preferred credentials of her support staff per the city's job description. So why don't we clean up our on mess before worrying about Bentley's.

We can truthfully answer our reader that our feeble brain wobbles in an attempt to understand this. Libby Watts Jordan beats out 29 other applicants for the Rosenbaum Home position, with Todd Nix calling her far and away the best candidate, but the tourism board has to go all the way to Canada to find a new director?

Our best answer to our reader is that the public does have a limit on just how much it will take. Remember the local sitting circuit court judge who gave his girlfriend a plum job for which she wasn't qualified? Did he get re-elected? Uh, no!

We'll inject our worst peeve here: For all the money the city is paying Dick Jordan's brother-in-law to “co-ordinate” its capital projects, why can't the public get an update? Just one? We'll even take quarterly, if monthly is too much of a strain on Steve Eason.

Our reader also questions why we care about Bentley when Jordan is behaving so badly (at least in the eyes of many)? We certainly have an easy answer to that one.

Like the recent elections for sheriff in Lauderdale and Colbert Counties, only one of these men has been touting his ethical and moral behavior toward his family, and that's Robert Bentley, not Dick Jordan. The public is apparently helping to pay a salary to a woman with her own agenda...whatever that may be. We strongly suspect her agenda changes with the highest bidder.

Let's hope the situation in Montgomery is resolved quickly.



Shoalanda

Our Tax Dollars Supported Affair?

There's an old saying that you can't legislate morality. True, but you can legislate moral behavior. Yet morals and ethics are somewhat different.

No matter what you think of the Governor of Alabama having an affair/committing adultery/getting a little on the side, the salient point in this whole debacle is that he apparently used our tax dollars
to facilitate his affair. This in a state where money is either so scarce or so misused that a tax on soft drinks was actually recently proposed.

Pundits in Montgomery are saying Robert Bentley will soon resign. Will he? If he does, it may not just be about the misuse of tax dollars, but because his young squeeze was being paid by those who sought his ear. That's why ethics courses discuss “pillow talk” and how to avoid that pitfall.

If Bentley is guilty of what he's being accused, then he needs to resign pronto. Kay Ivey may not want to be the next governor of Alabama, but we have every confidence she can run the affairs of state as well as our current Republican leader.

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A faithful reader recently referred to Bentley as “Skeletor.” It's been some time since we've seen an episode of He-Man, but we remember him as being better looking...

Shoalanda

Nepotism Policy

Muscle Shoals councilman Joe Pampinto has stated he's hoping for more bids on land adjacent to the less than profitable Cypress Lakes Golf & Country Club. We believe he meant to say “any bids” since the city's first attempt to auction the lots produced no one interested in the parcels.

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The position of Arts & Museums Director for Florence has now been publicly posted. We await...

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Any one out there heard the changes to the nepotism policy at Muscle Shoals schools? The City of Florence may need to copy some of its legalese.



Shoalanda

New Cabinets? Yes! New Parking? No!

Parking? No!

We all know how much kitchen cabinet technology has advanced in the past 30 years, so we can understand the University of North Alabama purchasing an entirely new set-up for their new prexy. After all, it's not like the college has any other pressing needs.

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After we made the comment about dorm students abusing the College View Church of Christ parking lot, we received many, many e-mails about the parking situation at UNA. Some of our readers encouraged us to drive by mid-afternoon, then circle down Cumberland and back up to Pine. Wow!

Vehicles lined both sides of the road. Some driveways were partially blocked. There were “For Sale” signs...

This is where we have a question. Just how would a realtor show one of these lovely homes (and they are very attractive) when there's no place for him/her or the clients to park?

From the TD:

Friday, 12 days before the first class meets, 6,204 students had registered for fall courses. At the same point last year, 5,541 students had signed up for classes at UNA. That number includes new students who registered during summer orientation and students coming back to UNA for a second, third or fourth year.

The university has long known there is insufficient parking on campus. It's previously purchased houses, torn them down, and built new lots. This again needs to be done ASAP!

In the mean time, we encourage these homeowners to call police ANY time someone blocks their drive. They also need to form some sort of committee to bring this to the public's attention. Make waves homeowners. You're in the right; UNA is being a bad neighbor.



Shoalanda

Barbara Broach is Retiring; Who Will Replace Her?

Long-time Director of Arts & Museums for the City of Florence Barbara Broach is retiring. We understand the position has been posted internally, but not publicly. Imagine that.

Perhaps the city can come up with an extra 30K to retain some headhunters? We're sure many in Canada will be interested in the job. We're also sure that after hiring a Canadian for the post of tourism director, the powers that be in Florence feel that hiring an inside person is now required to balance the bad press.

Really? We think the replacement for Ms. Broach might just create more bad publicity than any foreign hire.

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Who knew the old Fairground Road was in a minority neighborhood? We certainly learn something every day. It's a horse pasture, for cryin' out loud. The animal shelter can't be more odoriferous than that. We have no idea how this will play out, but perhaps the City of Florence better hurry up and re-purchase the old country club property.

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Speaking of UNA, we have just become aware of an enormous problem at that institution. It might not be monumental to everyone, but we've certainly heard from enough of the university's neighbors to check it out.

Tune in tomorrow...


Shoalanda