Joshua Miller: We're Calling You Out!

Joshua Miller of Florence has written to the TimesDaily, aka Totally Decatur, and questioned Lauderdale Probate Judge Will Motlow's Christianity. We have some words for Miller.

First, have you questioned Judge Motlow's stance on the issuance of marriage licenses to same-sex couples by contacting him personally? If you haven't why did you decide to write to the TD before you did so?

Second, here's the real kicker, Miller. Why are you suddenly upset by the issuance of licenses to gay couples when for years all Alabama probate offices have issued these same licenses to divorced individuals without asking if they have a New Testament grounds for divorce? For those who may not be Bible scholars, the only grounds for remarriage after a divorce is adultery.

We really want an answer to that question, Miller. Our e-mail addy is Shoalanda.Speaks@gmail.com. We eagerly await your finite wisdom on this subject.

*****

Hi, Will. We just stepped into your business. Well, you know how we are. Hope you're having a great day, and just remember to disregard comments from those with an IQ of 12 or less.



Shoalanda

Avoiding the Appearance of Impropriety

During the last election we had several to ask if it were illegal for a married couple to act as police chief and only magistrate/clerk for the same town. We could not find any laws against that situation except for the state of West Virginia. That state said the law was to avoid the appearance of impropriety.

Certainly many think that at least that appearance has cropped up in the city of Florence. Why?

1. Elizabeth (Libby) Stockard Watts Jordan was the first...and last...Director of Cultural Tourism in Florence. Why? Was she just so good at her job that, when she left it, no one could replace her?

2. Now Ms. Jordan will be leaving as the first Director of the Rosenbaum Home. Has this job now been posted? Will it be posted to current employees only, or will even Canadians get a crack at it?

3. One of our regular readers has indicated that Ms. Jordan was the most qualified to apply. We don't doubt that's true, but the job was never opened to applicants outside current employees. Only four
besides Libby applied.

4. When Libby was hired for the Rosenbaum position, at least one of the 29 other applicants sued the city. Will there be lawsuits now over this position?

5. Dick Jordan's brother-in-law was also hired within the last year to fill a newly created post. He coordinates...projects...but never seems to report any of the statuses of these projects, at least not to the
public who are, after all, paying his salary.

*****

We regret not being able to publish some of the comments we've received on Ms. Jordan's recent hiring, but unfortunately, funny as they were, they could have been considered libelous. Feel free to reword and send again.

*****

News from the City of Florence? That's the title of a regular newsletter that may be found linked at several sites. Judging by the content, Florence should change it's name to Utopia...or Candyland. Surely there's some news from Florence that has some pith to it? Any intelligent adult realizes that projects are delayed for various reasons, that lack of money derails some plans, etc. Why not report the truth? Why does Florence make Gov. Bentley look forthcoming?



Shoalanda

Not All Sex Crimes (at UNA) Are Violent

The recent survey conducted by the University of North Alabama has rightly raised some interesting questions. Does alcohol exacerbate sex crimes? Certainly.

However, while violent rape is certainly the worst of sex crimes, we should remember that any unwanted sexual advances are still sexual abuse. A woman will usually not report unwanted fondling, but it's still a low-ranking form of sexual assault. Oh, wait, we know...it was just an accident.

Perhaps the most disturbing part of this survey is that faculty and staff are involved in approximately one out of 20 crimes reported. It's much easier to report in an anonymous survey, but these crimes need to be reported to campus police. We're not holding our breath until a UNA version of Bill Cosby is uncovered.

*****

Now a word about Dr. William Cale and his tenure at UNA. Our recent blog about some odd statement by veep Andrew Luna was not intended to cast any dispersions on Dr. Cale. We did not always agree with his decisions, but we certainly thought he was more than competent.

Quick—if you're drowning in the Tennessee River would you refuse a life preserver thrown by serial killer John Wayne Gacy. We doubt it. That's basically the analogy a UNA staff member presented to us when Dr. Cale became bedfellows with Zing Zang Zung. UNA needed money desperately, and the high-ranking Chinese Communist had offered to provide it.

As we said earlier, it's hard to rudder the university ship when you're having to bale water to keep from drowning in debt. Certainly Dr. Cale saw the proposed partnership as a means to keep the good ship afloat. Walk a mile in his shoes and all that.

That doesn't mean we would have done the same thing; we hope we would not have. Now we have to ask just how much has UNA gained...or lost...in this alliance that quickly went nowhere.

Yes, we'd like to see exact figures. We're betting UNA came out in the red on the deal. Too bad more people didn't listen to Mr. Sam Pendleton.



Shoalanda

Libby Jordan? Who Woulda Thunk It?

Libby Watts Jordan, third wife of Florence City Councilman Dick Jordan, is the new director of Arts & Museums in that city. That is all. In more shocking news, a bat child was found in a Colbert County cave. Bring on the comments.

*****

Todd Nix knows which side of the bread boasts the butter.

*****

Now for some real news. Anyone read what UNA planning director Andrew Luna said about UNA having a record enrollment? He listed three reasons and one was the new prexy. Well, Kenneth Kitts does have that Donald Trump hair thing going on.

Perhaps Kitts will be able to rudder the ship and bale at the same time--something William Cale was not able to do; however, we are still at a loss as to why Cale's departure should have helped the university when all other things remain equal.

Maybe Kittsy will do well to keep a close eye on Andrew "Iago" Luna. He obviously has a problem with his ability to do the pretty when confronted with reporters.



Shoalanda

Was Alabama Supercomputer Host Hacked?

We received a message from one of our bloggers who works in a local school system that the Alabama Supercomputer had been hacked earlier. Many, many systems in the state were affected.

Those we've spoken with at various government agencies have not used the word “hacked,” but have simply said that the system was down and no more info was forthcoming. As we write this, it has been back up for some time.

We have no idea what personal information could have been obtained, but if you had a warrant for murder in Colbert County and were stopped in Lauderdale for a traffic violation, it was your lucky day. We actually heard one woman rejoicing over her close call.

Want to know more? So did we; however, there's nothing being published. Why? We did find where a non-profit organization in Leeds, Alabama, had been hacked last Friday by an organization claiming to be...ISIS.

The FBI investigated the hacking and stated about 4K random sites had been recently hacked by the same group, whoever they really are. Well, that's encouraging. Perhaps the attack on the state computer system was in response to the state's new budget?



Shoalanda

Memo to Brooklyn's Mother & Other Victims' Families

First, make no mistake, Autumn Wood did not deserve parole. She took a life and will give 42 months of her life in exchange. Not quite a fair trade.

However, over and over and OVER we see families state that certain individuals agreed to a serve a certain amount of time. We don't know if these individuals are just obtuse, or if the DA's office does not explain these sentences to them. Not even counting parole, of the 126 months Miss Wood was sentenced to, she will serve only 42 if she maintains good behavior. Her release date is 2017.

*****

Alison Stanfield should be an inspiration to all young females. Learn all you can, work as hard as you can, give it your all...and someday you too can win an award while being replaced by a Canadian.

Shoalanda

Prince Takes a Bite out of Dave Smith's Backside

A guest blog:

Let me introduce myself, I'm Prince, a Canine American. My ancestors have lived in the Shoals since 1955—that's a lotta dog years. I'm not too proud to say that some of my people were once incarcerated in what Dave Smith calls a “dog pound.” Can I call him a “Negro?” Arf! Let's see how he likes that. He's sure no "Sam Pendleton."

I have news for Smith. The shelter houses cats, bunnies, birds, and sometimes even horses and other cattle. How about that, Mr. Smith? Sure, some animals are strays and might even be “impounded,” but it's not a dog pound. You're showing your vast ignorance and even painting all black people with the same brush as uncaring about the lesser of us.

Now my floppy ears keep hearing that the current choice for the site floods. Maybe it does; let's hear from someone with some real knowledge of it.

By the by, I was once incarcerated for biting the mail carrier. My family bailed me out pretty quick and took me to obedience school. Now they've told me I can feel free to bite any idiots on the city council. They're helping me make my list.



Prince